Is it too late for me?
Q: I’m 60 years young retired woman. I’ve never been happy with my life, and now I believe the main reason is ADHD. I’ve given up on pretty much every goal and dream I’ve ever had. I’ve struggled with relationships, and my executive function has all but disappeared. I need to make the most of the time I have left. Is it too late for me? I’ve found only one doctor in my area who specializes in adult ADHD. My search for online help has been futile. Is there a free or low cost online coach you can recommend for my situation?
I hear stories like this a lot, we with ADHD are never satisfied with our lives. I work with women in their 30’s who already feel the same kind of pressure. 🙂
It’s partially due to ADHD, but also because women often feel like there are so many dreams and ideas that never come to fruition. I’m turning 41 this summer, and I can tell you that as our hormones change, many of the most aggravating symptoms of ADHD get worse – so I totally understand your feelings about your EFs disappearing.
BUT I don’t think it’s ever too late to move your life forward. We talk about these topics a lot in our Radical Women’s book discussion group.
Funny enough, we talk about this in my own women support group as well.
First, I would definitely find out if the doctor in your area that understands ADHD is taking patients. If money is an issue you might be able to get a sliding scale or payment plan. Most coaches will work with you online, but I recommend you find a coach with training and experience.
Here is a directory of coaches from ACO –Â https://acoo.memberclicks.net/index.php?option=com_mcdirectorysearch&view=search&id=2000611#/
You might also want to look into group coaching, or peer-led support groups like the ones offered from ADDA or my own Enclave. Talking to other women can be incredibly healing.
Whatever you decide to do, keep in touch. I always tell people, “we are stronger, together.”
-liz
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3 Comments
My writing and practice focus on procrastination, which often goes hand in hand with ADD. The technique I recommend is the JOT – Just One Task – method, where you write only one thing on your to-do list, do it, and don’t add the next task until you’ve accomplished the first one and crossed it off. It works for big goals too: if you want to make progress in relationships for instance, write it down, do one thing that moves that needle, then cross it off and add the next task or goal. It helps build a practice of focusing, which is then reinforced by the pleasure of crossing each accomplishment off your list. Good for all ages!
And for men over 50? I’m 64 and would like to join a group in or near NYC if I can find one.
It’s not too late for you. I’m older than you and I was able to reboot my life. I was lucky enough to have had a good coach and a tribe of friends and cheerleaders who had my back. Liz’s advice is right on target. I think ADDA has a support group for women over 50. That might be a good place to start.