Living with ADHD as an adult can feel isolating. 

Friends and loved ones may care deeply, but they don’t always understand what you’re experiencing. Building deeper connections becomes harder when you struggle to express yourself or stay fully present during conversations.

Over time, these social challenges may cause adult ADHDers to stop seeking support from those closest to them. But that kind of disconnection isn’t healthy in the long run.

The good news is that ADHD isn’t a journey you have to walk alone. ADHD support groups offer powerful connection and support. Their benefits aren’t just anecdotal. In fact, research has shown how useful peer support groups can be for adults with ADHD. 

With the right group, you’ll have access to a safe and supportive environment. This is where you can build your support network and learn from people who have been in your shoes. 

What Are ADHD Support Groups?

Support groups are a safe and non-judgmental space. They allow adults to connect, share their experiences, and exchange practical tips. 

Support groups can be structured in different ways: 

• In-person groups that often meet at local community centers, healthcare facilities, or universities
• Online ADHD support groups that can be accessed via forums, video calls, or chatting platforms
• Blended models combining face-to-face meetings with online resources or digital tools

Most adult ADHD peer support groups are open to all, whether or not they have a formal diagnosis. 

Types of ADHD Support Groups

There are different types of ADHD support groups for adults to choose from. Each has a unique structure and focus.

These groups include: 

• Structured groups: Psychologists, therapists, social workers, or ADHD coaches typically lead these groups. They provide professional guidance on managing symptoms. They may also include skill-building workshops to help members thrive in their daily lives.
• Peer-led groups: Individuals with ADHD typically run these informal spaces. These groups are a great place to share personal experiences and challenges. They also focus on exchanging support, encouragement, and advice. 
• Online ADHD communities: Examples include private Facebook groups, Reddit communities, online forums, and virtual co-working platforms. These offer great flexibility and accessibility, which can be helpful if you don’t have local in-person options. 

Since every group has its own style, it’s worth trying different formats and structures to see which is the best fit for you.

Why Peer Support Matters

Life with ADHD can be challenging. Not everyone will fully understand what you’re going through, and that can sometimes make the journey feel lonely.

This is where peer support can make a world of difference. Here’s how it helps:

• Reducing feelings of loneliness, fear, or anxiety
• Having your experiences, emotions, and struggles validated
• Receiving reassurance, encouragement, and support during tough times
• Learning practical advice and strategies that have worked for others with similar challenges
• Having accountability partners who can support you in building positive habits

Surrounding yourself with a community can help you form a positive self-image and a more hopeful outlook on life. 

The Benefits of Peer Support for ADHD

Studies show that peer support can make a meaningful difference in the lives of adults with ADHD, highlighting several key benefits:

• Better symptom management: Support groups are a great place to seek practical advice. Members often share tips on improving focus, organization, and time management that have been tried and tested.^[1]
• Improved emotional well-being: Having a supportive community can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. By sharing their experiences, adults with ADHD can feel more validated and understood. They can also learn healthier emotional coping strategies from others.^[2,3]
• Greater workplace productivity and career outcomes: Support groups create opportunities to find mentors and accountability partners. Members can also gain advice on strengthening executive function skills, such as planning and prioritizing. This can boost productivity and performance.^[4]
• Stronger social connections: Shared experiences within ADHD support groups help participants build meaningful friendships. Plus, members can practice their social skills in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.

What the Research Says

Let’s delve a little deeper into the research that shows the positive impact of peer support for adults with ADHD.

• 2022: A study in the Journal of Attention Disorders found that peer support can help protect adults with ADHD from developing depression and anxiety.^[2]
• 2023: Participating in online ADHD communities increased awareness of ADHD symptoms and traits in young adults. It reduced self-blame and boosted self-esteem. These communities also gave participants practical coping tools for organization, emotional regulation, and time management.^[1]
• 2024: A review reported that group-based education can improve core ADHD symptoms and overall mental health. It also enhanced planning, task performance, and time management, while cultivating a deeper understanding of ADHD.^[5]

Together, these studies confirm that ADHD support groups and group-based interventions can be a powerful addition to your ADHD management plan. 

Finding the Right ADHD Support Group

You may be able to find local support groups or providers where you live, but we created ADDA+ to fill this gap. We have live peer support groups gathering online every week, so it’s immediately available.

The best ADHD support groups are safe, inclusive, and non-judgmental. You should eventually feel comfortable enough to start opening up about your challenges. 

What to Expect in a Peer Group

Every ADHD peer group is unique, but most share some common goals. These typically include building connections, reducing feelings of isolation, and providing practical strategies for managing ADHD symptoms.

Our ADHD peer support group meetings are structured around:

• Sharing personal stories and listening to others’ experiences
• Participating in guided discussions on a variety of ADHD-related topics
• Expert-led skill building
• Exchanging coping tools and strategies for focus, organization, and emotional regulation
• Body doubling, or working alongside someone else, to complete tasks
• Setting goals and keeping one another accountable

Set realistic expectations when joining a peer support group. These groups aren’t a substitute for medication, therapy, or professional treatment.

That said, they can still be a powerful addition to your overall management plan. 

How to Make Peer Support Work for You

Simply joining an ADHD support group isn’t enough. The real value lies in consistently showing up and engaging with other members.

Here are some tips to get the most out of your experience:

• Commit to regular attendance by dedicating time and setting up reminders for meetings
• Participate actively and share your experiences openly and honestly
• Welcome accountability from fellow members to help you stay on track with your goals
• Listen with curiosity and be open to learning from others’ perspectives
• Ask questions and seek advice whenever you need guidance or support

Of course, if you’re not ready to commit to regular meetings yet, that’s okay. While consistency is beneficial, attending just a few sessions can still lead to meaningful progress.

Frequently-Asked Questions

What Are ADHD Support Groups?

ADHD support groups are safe, welcoming spaces where adults with diagnosed or suspected ADHD can come together to connect. In these groups, members share their experiences, challenges, and coping strategies.

How Do ADHD Support Groups Help Adults?

Support groups provide adults with ADHD a sense of belonging and connection, helping reduce feelings of isolation or loneliness. They also offer practical tools, advice, accountability, and motivation. By learning from others who are on a similar journey, members can discover new ways to manage symptoms and improve their overall quality of life.

Are Online ADHD Support Groups Effective?

Yes, online ADHD support groups can be just as effective as in-person ones. Virtual groups are more accessible and easier to fit into busy schedules. For many adults, this convenience makes it easier to maintain consistency and stay active. 

What Happens During an ADHD Support Group Meeting?

A typical ADHD support group meeting involves members sharing personal experiences and discussing topics related to ADHD. They may also exchange tips and advice. Some groups may include activities like body doubling, goal-setting, or skill-building exercises. 

ADHD Peer Support: Finding Strength in Numbers

Peer support is often overlooked in ADHD management. Yet, it’s one of the simplest and most powerful tools you can tap into. 

If you’re unsure where to start, try joining just one session to see how it feels. Hearing someone share a similar experience or learning one new coping strategy might spark meaningful change.

And if you’re looking for a starting point, consider exploring ADDA+. It offers expert-led webinars, courses, and tools to help you manage ADHD. Plus, you’ll be learning alongside a supportive community of peers who can help keep you motivated and accountable.

References

[1] Ginapp, C. M., Greenberg, N. R., Macdonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships and online communities: A qualitative study. SSM. Qualitative research in health, 3, 100223. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmqr.2023.100223

[2] Connolly, R. D., Lamont, A., & Speed, D. (2023). Perceived Social Support on the Relationship Between ADD/ADHD and Both Anxious and Depressive Symptoms Among Canadian Adults. Journal of attention disorders, 27(3), 283–293. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547221136227

[3] Nordby, E. S., Schønning, V., Barnes, A., Denyer, H., Kuntsi, J., Lundervold, A. J., & Guribye, F. (2025). Experiences of change following a blended intervention for adults with ADHD and emotion dysregulation: a qualitative interview study. BMC psychiatry, 25(1), 56. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-025-06476-1

[4] Lauder, K., McDowall, A., & Tenenbaum, H. R. (2022). A systematic review of interventions to support adults with ADHD at work-Implications from the paucity of context-specific research for theory and practice. Frontiers in psychology, 13, 893469. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.893469

[5] Skliarova, T., Pedersen, H., Holsbrekken, Å., Pedersen, S. A., Mandal, A., De Las Cuevas, C., Havnen, A., Gråwe, R., & Lara-Cabrera, M. L. (2024). Psychoeducational group interventions for adults diagnosed with attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder: a scoping review of feasibility, acceptability, and outcome measures. BMC psychiatry, 24(1), 463. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-024-05908-8

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For adults with ADHD, these aren’t just occasional slip-ups—they’re stubborn patterns that can feel impossible to break.

Here’s the good news: You can change these patterns.

The challenge? Bad habits run on autopilot. They happen automatically, almost without thought. Breaking them, especially with adult ADHD, feels tough.

But the truth is that you have more power to break these cycles than you realize.

This guide isn’t about perfect solutions or superhuman willpower. It’s about understanding the science behind your habits—what triggers them, why they persist, and how to strategically disrupt them, especially when working with an ADHD brain.

Ready to transform those automatic behaviors that have been holding you back? 

Let’s dive into what actually works.

Why Breaking Bad Habits Is So Hard

Learning how to stop bad habits isn’t tough because you’re lazy or unmotivated. It’s tough because your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do: automate repeated behaviors to save energy.

For the ADHD brain, this automation is even more powerful. Understanding what’s happening beneath the surface is the first step to creating strategies that actually work.

The Habit Loop: Cue, Routine, Reward

Every habit, good or bad, follows a loop in the order below:^[1]

1. Cue: A trigger can be anything, from an emotional state to a location or time of the day.
2. Routine: This refers to the behavior that occurs in response to a cue. 
3. Reward: The reward is the payoff your brain receives after completing the behavior, reinforcing it. 

Let’s say you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming deadline (cue). Almost without thinking, you grab your phone and dive into TikTok or Instagram (routine). Your brain gets a hit of dopamine, that feel-good neurotransmitter that ADHD brains especially crave, as you temporarily escape the stress (reward).

Once this pattern is repeated enough, it becomes automatic. Research shows that habits account for nearly 45% of our daily actions^[2], which means most of our behavior happens without conscious thought.

Plus, the ADHD brain is especially drawn to immediate gratification, making the pull of many bad habits even stronger.

Willpower Isn’t Enough

Have you ever told yourself, “Starting tomorrow, I’ll just try harder”? It likely didn’t work out well.

Willpower is like a muscle that fatigues. For the ADHD brain, that muscle often starts with less endurance. When you’re stressed, tired, or emotionally drained (which happens frequently with ADHD), your depleted prefrontal cortex—the brain’s decision-making center—surrenders control to your basal ganglia, where those automatic habits live.

The result is that you default to whatever behavior requires the least mental energy, usually your bad habit.

Why Bad Habits Feel Comforting

Bad habits often persist because they serve a purpose or fulfill a need. They serve as coping mechanisms, temporarily alleviating stress, boredom, anxiety, or discomfort. 

That late-night snacking provides comfort when you feel overwhelmed. The procrastination temporarily relieves the anxiety of facing a challenging task. The impulse shopping gives your understimulated ADHD brain a quick dopamine boost.

These behaviors exist for a reason. They work—at least in the short term. That’s why simply trying to eliminate them creates an emotional void that begs to be filled.

The key isn’t just stopping the behavior; it’s understanding what needs it fulfills and finding a healthier way to meet them.

How to Break Bad Habits (Step-by-Step)

By approaching your habits with curiosity rather than self-judgment, you will find it easier to understand their causes and find ways to break them for good. 

This won’t happen overnight, but it is possible with the right approach and techniques. 

Here’s how to get rid of bad habits for good.

Step 1: Identify the Habit and Its Triggers

Research shows that habits are very context-dependent. Thus, one of the most effective ways to break bad habits is to minimize exposure to habit cues and triggers.^[3]

What you can do is pay attention to what prompts the behavior. Is it a certain time of day, a specific place, or an emotional state like boredom, stress, or frustration?

This self-awareness gives you a clearer picture of what sets the habit in motion. 

Once you’ve identified those triggers, look for practical ways to reduce or avoid them. For example, if you tend to snack a lot while watching TV, consider changing your evening routine or keeping healthier snack alternatives within reach.

Step 2: Understand the Reward

Bad habits often persist because they offer appealing rewards, such as a quick distraction, a sense of relief, or a brief boost in mood. 

Take some time to reflect on what the habit is fulfilling. Once you understand the underlying reward, finding healthier ways to meet that need becomes easier without falling back into old patterns. 

For instance, if you scroll endlessly on your phone when bored or restless, the reward might be mental stimulation. In that case, you could replace the habit with a quick puzzle game or spend a few minutes journaling to engage your mind more intentionally.

Step 3: Change the Environment

Our environment plays a significant role in shaping and reinforcing our habits. 

One of the most effective strategies for breaking a bad habit is to modify your surroundings to reduce temptation and make the behavior more difficult.

Start by identifying and limiting common triggers. For example, say your phone notifications often cause you to pick up your device and start scrolling through social media. If so, consider turning off notifications or placing your phone in another room during focused work periods. 

Next, add friction to the bad habit itself. If social media is a recurring distraction, consider using an app blocker or logging out of your accounts. 

Reducing cues and convenience in your environment makes it much easier to disrupt the habit loop. 

Step 4: Replace it with a New Habit

Nature abhors a vacuum, and your brain is no different. Simply trying to stop a bad habit creates an empty space your brain will desperately try to fill, usually by reverting to the old behavior.

This is especially true for ADHD brains, which are particularly sensitive to understimulation and reward deficits.

Let’s say you binge eat whenever you’re stressed. In this case, you can look for healthier alternatives to manage your stress. For example, journaling, taking a walk, or practicing deep breathing instead.

The key is ensuring your replacement habit delivers a similar reward but with better long-term outcomes. For the ADHD brain, the replacement should be just as stimulating and accessible as the original habit, or it won’t stick.

Step 5: Make an If/Then Plan

Even with the best intentions, temptations and setbacks are bound to happen. Planning ahead with the “if/then” strategy is helpful. This gives your brain a script to follow when faced with a trigger or challenging moment.

For example, if you procrastinate when a difficult task comes up, your strategy might be: If I feel like avoiding it, I’ll commit to working on it for five minutes first. Or, if I feel the urge to check social media while working, then I will set a timer for 25 minutes of focus, followed by a 5-minute break for scrolling.

Getting started is often the hardest part, and this small action can help you overcome the initial resistance.

Consider the habits you struggle with most often, and create clear and specific ‘if-then’ plans to guide your responses. 

Step 6: Track Progress and Celebrate Wins

Tracking your progress is a great way to see how far you’ve come, which can keep you motivated. 

You can use a habit tracker app, a journal, or even something as simple as placing checkmarks on a calendar to mark your progress. 

Here are a few helpful things you might consider tracking:

• How often you replace the bad habit with a healthier alternative
• How frequently the urge to engage in the habit arises
• How many days you’ve gone without engaging in the bad habit

Remember to celebrate small wins along the way. A small, meaningful reward—whether it’s a meal out, a treat, or a hot bath—can go a long way in keeping you motivated. 

Step 7: Build Accountability

Accountability can be a powerful tool to support habit change by providing external motivation and structure.

List the habits you want to break and the positive habits you’d like to build in their place. Then, choose one or two goals to focus on and share them with someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, coach, or therapist. 

Ask them to check in with you regularly and commit yourself to being honest with them about your progress. 

Having someone else involved means you don’t have to rely solely on willpower. Knowing that someone else is rooting for your success is also motivating. 

How Long Does it Take to Break a Habit?

The time it takes to break a bad habit can vary significantly from person to person. Recent research suggests that, on average, it may take 1 to 65 days to break a habit, depending on the behavior and context.^[4]

Factors such as the type of habit and your surroundings will all influence your progress. Some habits may shift within a few weeks. Others, especially those tied to strong emotional or environmental triggers, can take several months to break.

Ultimately, lasting change isn’t about quick fixes. While the process might feel slow, every small but intentional step can disrupt the habit loop and bring about sustainable improvements. 

How to Bounce Back After a Slip-Up

Slipped up? This isn’t a failure—it’s valuable information. Every “mistake” is just another piece of the puzzle in understanding how your unique brain works.

Rather than seeing a setback as a failure, view it as a valuable learning opportunity. Reflect on what caused the slip by asking yourself questions like:

• What triggered this behavior?
• Was I feeling a specific emotion or under pressure?
• Did something in my environment or routine shift?
• What could I do differently next time?

Understanding what happened can help you refine your strategy moving forward.

Practice Self-Compassion

Breaking bad habits is no easy task. Being overly harsh or critical of yourself can drain your motivation and make it harder to stay committed.

Instead, aim to practice self-compassion. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you’d offer a struggling close friend. 

Pay attention to your inner dialogue, especially during setbacks or challenging moments. It helps to remind yourself that mistakes are a natural part of being human and an essential part of learning.

Breaking Bad Habits Can Be Life-Changing

Breaking bad habits can be tough, especially if you have ADHD. These transitions can feel overwhelming when patterns are deeply ingrained.

But you don’t need to overhaul everything at once. Start with one habit at a time, and focus on small, consistent improvements. Over time, these gentle shifts can gradually redirect your life’s path.

If you want to learn practical tips for improving your day-to-day with ADHD, check out ADDA+. You’ll get access to expert-crafted resources, courses, and webinars. You can also connect with a community of adult ADHDers to exchange support and tips on leading a successful and happy life with ADHD. 

References

[1] Zhu, Y., Long, Y., Wei, L., Zhang, Y., Ma, Z., Lee, K. P., Zhang, L., & Wang, S. J. (2024). Developing cue-behavior association for habit formation: A qualitative study to explore the role of avatar in hypertension. Digital health, 10, 20552076241265217. https://doi.org/10.1177/20552076241265217

[2] McCloskey, K., & Johnson, B. T. (2021). You are what you repeatedly do: Links between personality and habit. Personality and Individual Differences, 181, 111000. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2021.111000

[3] Buabang, E. K., Donegan, K. R., Parnian Rafei, & Gillan, C. M. (2024). Leveraging cognitive neuroscience for making and breaking real-world habits. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2024.10.006

‌[4] Edgren, R., Baretta, D., & Inauen, J. (2025). The temporal trajectories of habit decay in daily life: An intensive longitudinal study on four health-risk behaviors. Applied psychology. Health and well-being, 17(1), e12612. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12612

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The process is hard for anyone, but even more so for adults with ADHD, because the ADHD brain struggles with routines, long-term goals, and resisting instant gratification.

If you’re having a hard time changing your habits, it’s not because you’re lazy or lack willpower. ADHD just changes how habits are formed and maintained. The good news? With the right strategies, meaningful, lasting change is absolutely possible.

How Habits Are Formed

Habits are built through a process called the habit loop, which includes three essential components:^[2]

• Cue: A trigger that sets a habit into motion. It could be an action, location, time of day, smell, emotional state, or mood. For example, waking up groggy may prompt you to make coffee. Here, the cues would be the time of day (morning) and your mood (feeling tired).
• Routine: The routine is the action you take in response to the cue. This could be an automatic behavior, like making coffee in the morning, or a conscious decision, like checking your phone when you hear a notification.
• Reward: The reward reinforces the habit, making it more likely to stick. For instance, the boost in energy you feel after drinking coffee serves as a reward. Rewards can also reinforce less helpful habits, such as the temporary relief you feel from scrolling social media instead of tackling your to-do list.

Understanding the habit loop gives you a roadmap to building better routines and breaking patterns that no longer serve you.

Some habits form easily because they offer instant gratification. Others, like eating healthy or exercising, are harder to stick with because their benefits take longer to appear. But with patience and persistence, these habits can still become second nature.

How ADHD Affects Habit Formation

ADHD adds another layer of complexity to habit formation because of the way the ADHD brain functions.

Executive Function and Habit Formation

Executive functioning is a set of mental skills—like planning, self-regulation, and organization—that help us achieve goals and stay on track.^[3] These skills play a vital role in habit formation, and ADHD often makes them more difficult to manage. 

When ADHD leads to executive dysfunction, breaking down goals into actionable steps and resisting distractions becomes especially challenging.

Impulse Control and Reward Processing

Adults with ADHD often find it difficult to delay gratification or control impulses.^[4]The ADHD brain craves immediate rewards, which can make it harder to stick with habits that don’t offer an immediate payoff.

Impulse control challenges may also lead to abandoning new habits in favor of something more instantly rewarding. Understanding this tendency allows you to work with your brain instead of against it by finding ways to bring immediate motivation into your habit-building efforts.

Why Changing Habits Is Difficult

Breaking old habits—or building healthier ones—takes effort for everyone, but ADHD introduces unique obstacles.

Routines Are Comfortable

Routines feel comfortable because they happen almost automatically, without needing much motivation or planning. But breaking an old habit—or replacing it with a better one—requires effort and consistency. It may take time, but every small step you take moves you closer to where you want to be.

The Role of Willpower (and Why it’s Overrated)

If you’ve ever thought, “If I just had more willpower, I could change,” you’re far from alone. But the truth is, willpower alone isn’t the answer. 

Building sustainable habits requires more than just internal motivation—it takes structures, strategies, and systems designed to lighten the mental load and set you up for success.

Psychological Barriers to Habit Change

Becoming aware of the mental roadblocks holding you back is the first step in overcoming them. Here are a few challenges to watch for:

• Fear of failure: You may hesitate to start because you’re worried you might not succeed.
• Seeking instant results. When progress feels slow, it’s easy to feel discouraged and stop trying. 
• Procrastination: “I’ll start tomorrow” can become a repeated refrain—until you realize tomorrow never seems to come.
• All-or-nothing thinking: If you feel like you can’t do something perfectly, you might be tempted to give up on it altogether.

The most important lesson here? Progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence. No step forward is too small to count.

9 Effective Strategies for Changing Habits

Use tools and systems to turn habit changes into manageable steps.

Identify Your Habit Triggers

Every habit has a cause or trigger. Identifying the factors contributing to the habit can help you create strategies to minimize them so you’re less tempted to fall back into old behaviors.

Say you have a habit of snoozing your alarm in the morning, which causes you to be late for work. You can move your phone across the room, so you’ll have to get out of bed to turn it off. 

You can also identify “triggers” to reinforce positive habits. One example is habit stacking, which involves connecting a new habit to an existing one. For instance, you can get more movement into your day by doing ten squats each time you wait for your coffee to brew. 

Start Small to Build Consistency

Trying to make massive changes all at once can be overwhelming. Instead, follow the 1% rule. Make tiny, gradual improvements each day, as smaller goals are easier to achieve and start with. 

For instance, if you want to start exercising, begin with just five minutes a day rather than an hour-long workout. 

Eventually, your small but consistent actions will compound over time and lead to significant progress. 

Replace Old Habits with New Ones

Breaking a bad habit is easier when you find a way to replace it with a healthier response to meet the same need. 

For example, you might snack a lot whenever you feel stressed. Try replacing that habit with something more beneficial, like taking a short walk or practicing deep breathing. 

By experimenting with different alternatives, you can find what works best for you and meet your needs in a healthier, more positive way.

Use Immediate Rewards for Motivation

The ADHD brain seeks immediate rewards. You can leverage this by reinforcing positive behaviors with quick but satisfying incentives.^[5]

For example, you might reward yourself with something small but enjoyable, like watching an episode of your favorite TV show, taking a relaxing bath, or having a quick treat.

Design Your Environment for Success

Your surroundings play a huge role in shaping your habits—they can either support or sabotage your goals. Here’s how to make your environment work for you:

1. Remove unhelpful triggers: If you want to stop late-night snacking, don’t keep tempting foods in the house. If social media distracts you, remove apps from your phone.
2. Create positive cues: Make good habits easier by setting up your environment strategically. Lay out workout clothes the night before, keep a water bottle on your desk, or place books where you’ll see them readily.
3. Plan for obstacles: Life isn’t perfect, and neither is your journey. Prepare backup plans for common challenges:
   • If you’re too tired for a full workout, have a 5-minute routine ready
   • If you can’t focus on work, have a designated “reset” activity
   • If you’re stressed, keep healthy stress-relief tools easily accessible

These environmental tweaks and backup plans reduce friction, making it easier to stay consistent even when motivation dips.

Set Clear and Achievable Goals

Having goals is great, but if they’re too vague—like “be healthier” or “be more productive”—they can feel overwhelming or even paralyzing. Clarity is key. Instead, set clear, specific, and achievable goals.

For example, you could commit to “walking for 10 minutes after lunch” or “writing one paragraph every morning.” Breaking goals down like this builds focus and removes the pressure of trying to tackle everything at once – and the risk of ADHD paralysis.

With achievable steps, even big goals start to feel attainable.

Use Habit Tracking for Accountability

There’s something deeply satisfying about seeing your progress visually. It’s an instant confidence boost and a reminder of how far you’ve come.

Use a physical or digital journal, an app, or even a simple checklist to track your habits. Many habit-tracking apps have a streak tracker, where you aim to maintain a daily streak of completing the habit.

Keeping track doesn’t just hold you accountable. It’s a way to celebrate every milestone along the way, reinforcing the progress you’re making.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

We’re social by nature, and the people around us influence our habits and mindset more than we often realize.

If you want to improve your habits, surround yourself with people who encourage growth. You can find a body double, join a community with similar goals, or seek support from friends or family.

A supportive network can cheer you on during setbacks, keep you accountable, and celebrate your wins with you. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Be Patient and Stay Consistent

Building habits is a long-term process, but every small action you take is a step forward. Research suggests it takes at least two months for habits to solidify^[1], but your timeline isn’t as important as your consistency.

Instead of striving for perfection, focus on progress. Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Every small step forward counts, and those steps will ultimately lead to lasting change. 

You’ve got this!

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Changing Habits

If you want to change habits sustainably, you need the right approach and mindset. Here are some common pitfalls to watch out for and strategies to help you avoid them. 

Trying to Change Too Many Habits at Once

A surge of motivation can make us want to change everything all at once. “I’ll eat healthier, exercise every day, stop procrastinating, and get eight hours of sleep!” But taking on too much at once can quickly lead to exhaustion and burnout.

Instead, choose just one habit to start with. Once it feels like second nature, choose another. By taking it slow and steady, you’ll build habits that truly stick.

Expecting Immediate Results

We all love the idea of instant results—it’s motivating to see quick wins. But progress often takes time, and it’s not always linear.

If you expect big changes overnight, it’s easy to feel discouraged and think you’re failing. But progress, even when it’s slow, is still progress.

Focus instead on the journey, not just the destination. Celebrate small wins—whether it’s completing a habit for one day or making one better choice. These small victories are stepping stones to larger success.

Relying Solely on Motivation

Motivation is great when it’s there, but it’s not always reliable. Some days, you might feel ready to conquer the world. On others, just getting out of bed feels like a monumental task.

That’s why relying on motivation alone isn’t enough. Instead, build systems and structures that help you through tough days. Whether it’s habit tracking, environmental cues, or a supportive accountability partner, these tools ensure you can keep going, even when motivation dips.

Remember, showing up—even imperfectly—is what drives long-term change. Progress isn’t about feeling inspired every day; it’s about sticking with it when inspiration fades.

How Long Does it Take to Change a Habit?

Forming a good work habit doesn’t happen overnight. Research suggests that it takes 2 to 5 months to create a new habit you can stick to.^[1] The time it takes can vary depending on how complex or challenging the habit is, but the key ingredient is consistency, not perfection.

What really matters is not how long it takes but how consistent you are. Each time you repeat a behavior in the same context, it becomes easier, more automatic, and more deeply ingrained.

Building habits is like planting seeds: with regular care, they grow stronger over time. Be patient with yourself and trust the process—the results will come.

Changing Habits with ADHD Requires the Right Approach

Changing habits—especially with ADHD—takes more than just motivation or willpower. By working with your brain and using the right strategies, lasting progress is within your reach.

Start by building a “habit toolbox” with techniques like habit stacking, rewarding yourself for progress, and creating an environment where success feels natural.

Focus on the process rather than expecting instant results. Lasting change doesn’t come from perfect execution—it comes from persistence and patience. With time, your new habits will begin to feel like second nature.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. ADDA+ offers expert resources, courses, and a supportive community to guide you each step of the way. Together, you can move toward a future of growth and success.

References

[1] Singh, B., Murphy, A., Maher, C., & Smith, A. E. (2024). Time to Form a Habit: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Health Behaviour Habit Formation and Its Determinants. Healthcare (Basel, Switzerland), 12(23), 2488. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare12232488

[2] Zhu, Y., Long, Y., Wei, L., Zhang, Y., Ma, Z., Lee, K. P., Zhang, L., & Wang, S. J. (2024). Developing cue-behavior association for habit formation: A qualitative study to explore the role of avatar in hypertension. Digital health, 10, 20552076241265217. https://doi.org/10.1177/20552076241265217

‌ [3] Liao, Y.-H., & Chen, H.-C. (2022). Happiness takes effort: Exploring the relationship among academic grit, executive functions and well-being. Personality and Individual Differences, 199, 111863. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2022.111863

[4] Einarsson, S. B., Baldur Heiðar Sigurðsson, Sigurlín Hrund Kjartansdóttir, Páll Magnússon, & Jón Friðrik Sigurðsson. (2024). Impulsive buying and deferment of gratification among adults with ADHD. Clinical Psychology in Europe, 6(3). https://doi.org/10.32872/cpe.9339

[5] Wood, W. (2024). Habits, Goals, and Effective Behavior Change. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 33(4). https://doi.org/10.1177/09637214241246480

The post How to Change Habits: 9 Proven Tips for ADHDers appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

The good news? You don’t have to struggle. Healthy ADHD coping mechanisms are within reach, giving you the tools to make life easier, more manageable, and enjoyable.

That’s the real difference between healthy and unhealthy strategies. The right ones help you thrive, not just survive. Quick fixes might feel good in the moment, but they often lead to stress and burnout.

By swapping short-term crutches for sustainable strategies—and giving yourself some grace along the way—you can create habits that keep you on track and help you reach your goals.

ADHD Coping Strategies for Time Management

Many ADHDers experience time blindness—the inability to track how much time has passed or estimate how long it takes to get something done. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry; there are effective ways to tackle this challenge.

Here are some ADHD coping strategies that can improve your time management.

1. Use Timers and Alarms to Stay on Track

External reminders, such as alarms, timers, and countdown apps, can make the passing of time more visible and tangible. 

If you need to complete something in a fixed amount of time, place a timer in front of you so you’re more aware of the time spent on that activity.

Setting a timer transforms abstract time into something tangible you can see and control, which is a big win.

2. The Pomodoro Technique & Time Blocking

The Pomodoro technique involves alternating between working and resting. 

Block out a specific time of your day for work. Then, split this session into alternating blocks of focused work and breaks. 

With this approach, you might finally experience the sense of flow and accomplishment that has been eluding you. This technique is an excellent tool for anyone learning how to cope with ADHD.

3. Build Buffer Time Into Your Schedule

Time blindness makes it easy to underestimate the time it will take to complete specific tasks.

To counter this, give yourself a little more buffer time. For example, if you think getting ready for an appointment will take 20 minutes, give yourself 30 minutes instead. 

Buffer time reduces stress and gives you more room to breathe. 

ADHD Coping Strategies for Focus and Attention

Staying focused with ADHD can feel like you’re trying to listen to one specific song while dozens of others play in the background. 

Many ADHDers get distracted quickly, but the following coping strategies may help. With patience and persistence, staying focused is possible.

4. Body Doubling for Accountability

If staying on task feels impossible when you’re alone, you’re not failing—body doubling might be just what you need. 

Body doubling involves working on a task alongside a family member or friend who acts as a “body double.” Having someone around while you work can add an extra layer of accountability and external motivation. It can also make you feel grounded and capable.

5. Minimize Distractions in Your Environment

Distractions can make it hard to stay productive, and relying on willpower alone isn’t always practical. A better approach is to minimize or eliminate them from the start. 

For example, you can set up a quiet workspace away from foot traffic, use noise-canceling earphones, or silence your device notifications while you work. Small changes like these can help you reclaim your focus and confidently move forward. 

6. Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps to Reduce Overwhelm

If you struggle with ADHD task paralysis, breaking big tasks into smaller ones can help. 

For instance, if the task is to finish writing a report, you can break it down into separate steps, like collecting data, writing the first draft, and editing. This makes the task less overwhelming and shows you that progress is possible, one step at a time.

Breaking tasks into smaller steps is an effective way of dealing with ADHD and overcoming feelings of paralysis.

ADHD Coping Strategies for Organization & Productivity

Being disorganized and forgetful are common symptoms of ADHD. These symptoms may get in the way of your work or academics. 

However, you can implement specific ADHD coping skills to help you stay organized, plan better, and boost your productivity. These changes might seem small, but their impact can be life-changing.

7. Create Designated Spaces for Important Items

If you constantly misplace items like your keys, wallet, or work documents, try to designate a specific spot for each one. For example, you can hang a small hook by the door for your keys or use a dedicated folder for important papers. 

Make it a habit to put things back in their designated spots so you won’t waste time searching for them. It’s a simple way to bring more order and clarity into your day-to-day life.

8. Use Visual Organization Tools (Planners, Apps, Color Coding)

Visual cues and reminders can help you keep track of important notes or events. You can mark key events on a physical planner or calendar or use color coding to prioritize tasks based on urgency. 

You can also try organizational apps like Remember the Milk or Notion. These tools don’t just keep you on track—they let you customize your workflow, gamify tasks, and visualize progress, making organization feel easier—and even fun.

9. Declutter Regularly to Reduce Mental Overload

A cluttered space can lead to increased distractions.

Keep only the items you need for the task or project on your desk, and store other unrelated items in a drawer or cabinet. Storage solutions like trays, file holders, or labeled bins can also help you stay organized. 

To maintain a tidy workspace, you can set a daily or weekly reminder for a quick decluttering session. Give yourself credit for each small victory in creating a space that supports your success.

ADHD Coping Strategies for Impulsivity & Emotional Regulation

Research suggests that adults with ADHD are more likely to rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms for managing emotions and stress, such as self-blame or catastrophizing situations.^[1]

If you struggle to regulate your emotions, here are healthier coping mechanisms to try instead. 

10. The STOP Method for Impulsivity

It feels almost natural to react instantly to strong emotions. While it might be tricky initially, learning how to pause before reacting is key to managing these emotions well. 

You can use the STOP method as follows: 

• S – Stop: Pause instead of reacting right away.
• T – Take a breath: Slow down and reset.
• O – Observe: Notice your thoughts, emotions, and surroundings.
• P – Proceed mindfully: Respond with intention, and choose your response thoughtfully. 

This simple technique can be especially useful in heated conversations or moments of frustration.

11. Self-Imposed Pauses for Decision-Making

Impulsivity in ADHD can lead to snap decisions—whether it’s making an expensive purchase or quitting a job on a whim. While these choices may feel right in the moment, they can often lead to regret.

Try implementing a 24-hour rule before making significant decisions to create a buffer between impulse and action. 

Give yourself a full day to sit with the choice, weigh the pros and cons, and see if it still feels right after the initial urge has passed. If the decision makes sense after 24 hours, you can move forward more confidently and clearly.

12. Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques to Manage Emotions

Research has indicated that mindfulness meditation can help adult ADHDers regulate their emotions.^[2] By training your awareness to stay in the present moment, mindfulness reduces emotional reactivity and helps you respond more intentionally rather than impulsively.

In addition to mindfulness, breathing exercises can quickly and effectively release tension and stress. Simple techniques like box breathing or the 4-7-8 method can calm your nervous system, making it easier to regain focus and control in overwhelming moments.

ADHD-Friendly Habits & Lifestyle Adjustments

Your lifestyle can also affect your symptoms. By pulling the right levers, you can modify your lifestyle habits to give yourself the upper hand when it comes to managing your ADHD symptoms. 

13. Exercise to Regulate Dopamine & Focus

Research suggests physical exercise can improve thinking, reduce fatigue and anxious thoughts, and decrease impulsivity.^[3] Regular movement helps regulate dopamine levels, which play a crucial role in focus and motivation for people with ADHD.

The key to making exercise a habit is to find a type of movement you genuinely enjoy. Whether it’s dancing, hiking, yoga, or martial arts, choosing an activity that feels fun rather than like a chore increases the chances of sticking with it long-term.

14. Sleep Hygiene Tips for ADHD

Sleep problems are common in adult ADHDers, and poor sleep can make it harder to focus, remember details, and regulate your impulses or emotions.^[4]

Here’s how you can start getting better sleep at night:

• Stick to a consistent sleep schedule
• Create a calming bedtime routine by doing things that help you relax
• Create a comfortable bedroom environment by keeping it dark, cool, and quiet
• Avoid screens for at least an hour before bedtime
• Avoid caffeine or having large meals close to bedtime

If your sleep issues persist despite good sleep hygiene, it’s best to seek the help of a medical professional. 

15. Nutrition Strategies for Better Overall Health and Functioning

There are no strict dietary rules for ADHD, but a well-balanced diet provides the fuel your brain needs to function at its best. Nutrient-rich foods can help support focus, energy levels, and overall mental clarity.

If you’re looking for specific brain-boosting nutrients, consider adding more omega-3 fatty acids to your meals. Found in foods like salmon, flaxseeds, and walnuts, omega-3s may support brain health, enhance learning, and improve memory.^[5]

Making small, intentional dietary choices can have a lasting impact on cognitive function and overall well-being.

How to Build a Personalized ADHD Coping Toolbox

Building your own personalized ADHD toolbox comes down to trial and error. Certain apps, programs, or systems may work wonders for others but do nothing for you—and vice versa. The key is to find sustainable strategies that fit your working style. 

16. Try ADHD-Friendly Productivity Apps

Technology can be a powerful ally in managing ADHD. Some apps and programs that may be useful for ADHD include:

• Calendar apps & digital reminders: Keep track of important dates, deadlines, and events.
• To-do list apps: Apps like Remember the Milk can help you organize tasks and set reminders to stay on top of responsibilities.
• Time management apps: Digital Pomodoro timers can help you break work into manageable chunks. 
• Productivity apps: Apps like Forest can help you stay focused and minimize distractions. 
• Habit-tracking apps: Habitica is one example of an app that allows you to gamify habit-building to stay motivated and consistent.

17. Create a “Brain Dump” System for Random Thoughts

The ADHD brain is great at coming up with creative ideas, but one thought may quickly lead to another and pull you down a rabbit hole of distractions.

A “brain dump” helps you capture these thoughts before they derail your focus. You can quickly note them in a physical or digital notebook or a voice memo. 

That way, you can revisit and organize these thoughts later. This helps you stay focused on your current task while ensuring you don’t forget anything important. 

When to Seek Professional Support

If you’re struggling to find coping strategies that work for you, reaching out to a trained professional or a supportive community can make all the difference. Personalized guidance can help you navigate challenges more effectively and build strategies tailored to your needs.

Asking for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a proactive step toward success, giving you the tools and support to manage ADHD confidently.

18. ADHD Coaching 

ADHD coaches work with adults to develop personalized strategies for managing daily challenges and building essential life skills. Their support goes beyond general advice, offering practical tools tailored to your unique strengths and struggles.

With a coach’s guidance, you can create systems that improve time management, organization, and emotional regulation. This will help you stay on track and achieve your goals with more confidence.

19. Support Groups & ADHD Communities

Sometimes, the best advice comes from those who’ve been in your shoes. Connecting with others who understand ADHD firsthand can provide invaluable support, encouragement, and practical solutions.

Joining ADHD support groups—in-person or online—allows you to learn tried-and-true strategies from fellow ADHDers. These communities offer a judgment-free space to share experiences, gain insights, and feel less alone in your journey.

There’s No One-Size-Fits-All ADHD Toolbox

Learning to thrive with ADHD is a journey, and finding the right tools and coping strategies takes time, persistence, and a bit of trial and error. But with the right resources, you can navigate challenges more effectively and harness your strengths to their fullest.

If you’re looking for expert guidance and a supportive community to help you along the way, ADDA+ has you covered. This online platform offers expert-crafted courses, practical tools, and a space where adult ADHDers can share real-life strategies to achieve their biggest goals.

References

[1] Soler-Gutiérrez, A. M., Pérez-González, J. C., & Mayas, J. (2023). Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. PloS one, 18(1), e0280131. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280131

[2] Kretschmer, C. R., Göz Tebrizcik, B., & Dommett, E. J. (2022). Mindfulness Interventions for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Psychiatry International, 3(4), 363–399. https://doi.org/10.3390/psychiatryint3040031

[3] Tucker, R. L., Williams, C., & Reed, P. (2024). Breaking Down Barriers: Understanding Determinants of Exercise in Adults with ADHD Symptoms. Journal of Developmental and Physical Disabilities.https://doi.org/10.1007/s10882-024-09994-0

[4] Surman, C. B. H., & Walsh, D. M. (2021). Managing Sleep in Adults with ADHD: From Science to Pragmatic Approaches. Brain Sciences, 11(10), 1361. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci11101361

[5] Dighriri, I. M., Alsubaie, A. M., Hakami, F. M., Hamithi, D. M., Alshekh, M. M., Khobrani, F. A., Dalak, F. E., Hakami, A. A., Alsueaadi, E. H., Alsaawi, L. S., Alshammari, S. F., Alqahtani, A. S., Alawi, I. A., Aljuaid, A. A., & Tawhari, M. Q. (2022). Effects of Omega-3 Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids on Brain Functions: A Systematic Review. Cureus, 14(10), e30091. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.30091

The post The Ultimate Guide to ADHD Coping Mechanisms: 19 Practical Strategies appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

Despite this connection, many women struggle to receive a proper diagnosis or a treatment plan that covers both disorders.

If you have ADHD but feel like something else is impacting your mood, energy, or overall well-being, trust yourself—you know your body best. Don’t hesitate to reach out for an assessment of your symptoms. 

Knowing how PMDD affects women with ADHD can help you spot symptoms early, speak up for yourself, and get the right treatment.

What Is PMDD?

PMDD is a condition characterized by severe mood, behavioral, and physical symptoms. These symptoms typically begin 7-10 days before menstruation and resolve shortly after the period begins. 

Key symptoms of PMDD include:^[2]

• Strong feelings of depression and hopelessness
• Significant anxiety or tension, often accompanied by a sense of constantly being on edge
• Frequent mood swings
• Running out of energy quickly
• Persistent anger or irritability, often causing conflicts with other people

PMDD can sometimes be severe enough to disrupt your daily life—work, socializing, and relationships.

PMDD and ADHD Symptoms

PMDD and ADHD generally lead to different symptoms, though there are important areas where they overlap. The combined effect on both conditions may intensify the daily changes you face.

Here’s how PMDD and ADHD together can affect your mental, emotional, and physical health:

Emotional & Mood Symptoms

ADHD is often linked to emotional dysregulation—difficulty in regulating or controlling emotions. So, if you have ADHD, you may notice that you get irritated, excited, or angry quickly.^[3]

Similarly, PMDD can also bring about mood changes. Some of its symptoms include depression, anxiety, mood swings, and increased anger or irritability.^[2]

When combined, PMDD and ADHD overlap, emotional regulation becomes even more challenging.

Both brain and hormone changes have a real and powerful impact on the body. The effect of these changes makes it essential to acknowledge their seriousness and seek support.

Physical Symptoms

Apart from mood-related challenges, PMDD can also lead to physical symptoms. These include:^[2]

• Exhaustion/low energy levels
• Appetite changes
• Insomnia or sleep issues
• Breast tenderness or swelling
• Headaches
• Muscle or joint pain
• Bloating or weight gain 

Symptoms such as exhaustion and insomnia can lead to poorer focus and motivation. They can also increase feelings of depression, anxiety, or self-consciousness. 

Cognitive & Behavioral Symptoms

ADHD is often associated with poor focus, but PMDD can contribute to difficulty concentrating and mental fatigue as well.^[2]

Symptoms like low energy, poor sleep, and other physical discomforts make it even harder to stay engaged and motivated.

Thus, the added effects of ADHD and PMDD may impact the ADHDer’s productivity and performance at work or school. 

Additionally, forgetfulness and brain fog in ADHD can become even more pronounced due to PMDD. This can further affect a woman’s daily tasks and responsibilities.

The Impact of PMDD on ADHD Symptoms

PMDD can worsen many ADHD-related challenges. For example, it often brings about mood swings, irritability, and anger, making it harder for ADHDers to manage their emotions.^[2]

PMDD is also linked to sleep disturbances, fatigue, and low energy. ADHDers often struggle to get things done, and these symptoms may lower their motivation further.^[2]

Concentration issues can also worsen due to PMDD. This compounds the typical focus-related challenges ADHDers face. As a result, ADHDers with both conditions might struggle even more when trying to stay focused.^[2]

This can cause trouble organizing, planning, meeting deadlines, and following through on instructions.

That’s why it’s crucial to address both conditions. Proper treatment and support can go a long way toward preserving your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

How Common Is PMDD in People with ADHD?

Researchers have found that PMDD tends to occur more often in people with ADHD than those without. 

One study estimates that over 45% of women with ADHD also report symptoms of PMDD. In contrast, only 28.7% of women who don’t have ADHD experience these symptoms.^[1]

Despite this greater prevalence, it’s common for PMDD to go undiagnosed and untreated in women with ADHD.

One reason is that PMDD was only recently recognized as a medical condition, so some doctors may not know how to identify it.^[4] Another is that when ADHD is also present, diagnosing PMDD can be even harder.

The best way to advocate for yourself is by learning to recognize both symptoms of ADHD and PMDD. This awareness allows you to seek further assessment if you suspect PMDD might be contributing to your symptoms.

Why Do PMDD and ADHD Co-Occur?

Researchers aren’t exactly sure why PMDD and ADHD tend to happen together. 

However, several factors likely contribute to this overlap.

The Role of Hormones & Neurotransmitters

Some research suggests that both PMDD and ADHD are linked to changes in the brain and hormones. 

For instance, ADHD is associated with lower dopamine levels in the brain.^[5]

Dopamine is a chemical messenger responsible for satisfaction and motivation. Because it also plays a role in controlling mood, it’s sometimes called the “feel-good hormone.”

The lower dopamine levels in ADHD might make women more vulnerable to hormonal fluctuations. So, when hormonal changes occur, they might have a more significant effect on mood. This could explain why they’re more likely to experience PMDD symptoms.^[5]

On the flip side, changing hormone levels are also thought to affect ADHD symptoms. Estrogen and progesterone levels change throughout the menstrual cycle. These fluctuating levels can affect specific pathways in the brain.^[5]

Because of this, you may notice that your ADHD symptoms feel worse in the days leading up to your period.^[5]

Differences Between PMDD and PMS

If you notice symptoms appearing cyclically, you could have either premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or PMDD. 

PMS shares some similarities with PMDD. It encompasses the physical, behavioral, and mood-related symptoms that usually occur in the days or weeks before your period.^[6]

Some of its symptoms include:^[6]

• Mood fluctuations
• Increased anxiety, irritability, or anger
• Increased fatigue
• Abdominal discomfort
• Back pain
• Feelings of nausea
• Sensitivity and swelling in the breast
• Constipation

While PMS can include mood changes and physical discomfort, PMDD is more severe, with symptoms that significantly affect daily life.

The mood swings in PMDD tend to be more intense. Plus, PMDD always includes at least one significant emotional symptom, such as depression, hopelessness, anxiety, or heightened anger.^[6]

Because of this, PMDD can have a more significant impact on daily life, affecting work, relationships, and overall mental well-being. 

The table below highlights the key differences between PMS and PMDD.^[6]

Understanding these differences can help you distinguish between PMS and PMDD and determine which is the likelier cause of your symptoms. 

PMDD Causes and Risk Factors

Scientists don’t know the exact cause of PMDD yet, but it’s likely linked to hormone changes during the menstrual cycle. These changes can affect dopamine and serotonin—chemical messengers that help regulate mood. Any disruption in this balance can contribute to PMDD symptoms.^[2]

Research has also pinpointed factors that can put you at a higher risk of PMDD. These include: 

• Genetic factors: Studies suggest that genetics can contribute to the development of PMDD. If you have a close family member with PMDD, you may be more likely to experience it as well. However, scientists have yet to identify the exact gene responsible for PMDD.^[7]
• Lifestyle factors: Stress, poor sleep, and unhealthy eating could increase your likelihood of having premenstrual symptoms.^[8] Consumption of alcohol and smoking may also contribute to this risk.^[9]
• Background: Having a pre-existing anxiety disorder or experiencing traumatic events in the past can increase the possibility of developing PMDD.^[6]

Treatment Options for PMDD and ADHD

Proper management of PMDD and ADHD often requires a comprehensive approach. This usually includes a combination of medication, lifestyle adjustments, and therapy. 

Medications & Treatment

Your doctor can recommend medications to treat both conditions. 

• For PMDD: Treatments like birth control pills or serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can help regulate hormonal changes and improve mood. ^[2]
• For ADHD: Stimulant medications are commonly used and may be adjusted around your menstrual cycle to address hormone-related fluctuations.^[1]

It’s important to talk to your doctor about your options. Some medications may work well for certain people but not as well for others. 

Therapy

Research shows that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can benefit women managing both ADHD and PMDD. 

CBT helps you recognize and change negative thought patterns, replacing them with healthier mindsets and strategies. This can improve emotional regulation and help you feel better equipped to manage the challenges of both conditions.^[10]

Tracking and Planning

Period-tracking apps or symptom diaries can help identify patterns and prepare for challenging days. Some people find it helpful to:

• Schedule important tasks during less symptomatic times of the month
• Plan for extra support during difficult days
• Adjust medication timing with their doctor’s guidance
• Keep emergency supplies (like pain relievers or comfort items) readily available

Lifestyle Adjustments

Here are some lifestyle adjustments you can make to minimize your symptoms and improve your overall well-being: 

• Get regular exercise. Exercise helps stabilize hormones, increase endorphins (the “feel-good” chemicals), and reduce stress. It can also improve mood and self-esteem.^[6]
• Improve your sleep hygiene. A consistent sleep schedule, reducing screen time before bed, and creating a calming nighttime routine can promote better rest.
• Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, journaling, or yoga, can also help support emotional regulation and improve focus.
• Create a stress management routine. Identify stress-relieving activities that work for you, such as deep breathing, physical movement, or creative hobbies like drawing or writing. 
• Eat balanced, regular meals. A nutrient-dense diet can support serotonin production and improve mood. Foods rich in calcium and vitamin B6 may also help relieve PMDD symptoms. If you’re considering supplements, consult a healthcare professional first.^[2]

What’s most important is having a personalized management plan. You can work together with your healthcare team to devise a plan that works best for you. 

ADHD and PMDD Are Treatable—You Don’t Have to Struggle Alone 

You may already have a diagnosis of either ADHD or PMDD. But that doesn’t mean you should stop seeking further assessment or support—especially if your symptoms continue interfering with daily life.

If you suspect PMDD might be contributing to your challenges, start tracking your symptoms for at least two months. A diary or mood chart can provide valuable insights for your doctor to help you achieve an accurate diagnosis.

The good news is that both ADHD and PMDD are treatable. You don’t have to just “live with it.” With the right support and treatment, you can better manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life.

To learn more about ADHD and other conditions that often co-occur with it, check out ADDA+. This resource center offers tips, tools, and courses to help adults with ADHD manage their symptoms and thrive.

References

[1] Prevalence of hormone-related mood disorder symptoms in women with ADHD. (2021). Journal of Psychiatric Research, 133, 10–15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2020.12.005

[2] Mishra S, Elliott H, Marwaha R. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. [Updated 2023 Feb 19]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2025 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK532307/

[3] Soler-Gutiérrez, A. M., Pérez-González, J. C., & Mayas, J. (2023). Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. PloS one, 18(1), e0280131. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280131

[4] Schroll, J. B., & Lauritsen, M. P. (2022). Premenstrual dysphoric disorder: A controversial new diagnosis. Acta Obstetricia et Gynecologica Scandinavica, 101(5), 482–483. https://doi.org/10.1111/aogs.14360

[5] Lin, P.-C., Long, C.-Y., Ko, C.-H., & Yen, J.-Y. (2024). Comorbid Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in Women with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Journal of Women S Health, 33(9), 1267–1275. https://doi.org/10.1089/jwh.2023.0907

[6] Liguori, F., Saraiello, E., & Calella, P. (2023). Premenstrual Syndrome and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder’s Impact on Quality of Life, and the Role of Physical Activity. Medicina (Kaunas, Lithuania), 59(11), 2044. https://doi.org/10.3390/medicina59112044

[7] Hantsoo, L., & Payne, J. L. (2023). Towards understanding the biology of premenstrual dysphoric disorder: From genes to GABA. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 149, 105168. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2023.105168

[8] Sei, J., Minai, J., Hara, H., & Matsuura, M. (2020). 138. Lifestyle Factors Associated with Premenstrual Distress Symptoms in High-School Girls with Premenstrual Syndrome. Journal of Adolescent Health, 66(2), S70–S71. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2019.11.141

[9] Christian, D., & Shah, R. (2020). Association of socio-demographic, dietary and lifestyle factors with Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) among undergraduate medical students of a tertiary care institute in Ahmedabad, Gujarat. Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care, 9(11), 5719. https://doi.org/10.4103/jfmpc.jfmpc_1553_20

[10] Abdolmajid Bahrainian, S., & Derakhshanpour, Z. (2020). Original Research The Effectiveness Of Psychotherapy with Cognitive-Behavioral Approach On Emotion Cognitive Regulation Strategies Of Patients with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Int J Med Invest, 9(2), 75–89. http://intjmi.com/article-1-528-fa.pdf

The post PMDD and ADHD: Understanding the Connection and Managing Symptoms appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

But what is ADHD paralysis?

Also known as analysis paralysis or ADHD shutdown, ADHD paralysis happens when a person with ADHD is overwhelmed by information, emotions, or their environment. As a result, they freeze and can’t think or function effectively.

Adults who experience ADHD paralysis find it much more challenging to focus and complete their tasks. Because of this, they may struggle to keep up with their commitments and responsibilities at work, school, or home.

Analysis paralysis is linked to changes in the functioning, structure, and chemical balance of the ADHD brain. It also shares some similarities with other ADHD-related challenges like ADHD hyperfixation and executive dysfunction. 

ADHD paralysis is not a medical diagnosis, but it is a symptom of ADHD. And for many people, it’s a very real and frustrating problem. 

The best way to get back on track is by understanding and addressing its root causes.

Read on if you’d like to find out what it feels like when the symptoms of ADHD paralysis set in. Then, we’ll explore some practical strategies to get yourself unstuck.

Originally published on December 7th, 2022, this article was updated and republished on February 10, 2025.

ADHD Paralysis Symptoms in Adults

ADHD affects the brain’s executive function, making it harder for individuals to process information and make decisions.

This is how ADHD paralysis or ADHD shutdown occurs – when you can’t decide what to do or where to start, you can’t take action.

Though ADHD paralysis manifests differently in different people, it’s generally associated with the following symptoms:^[1]

• Overthinking or overanalyzing problems
• Unable to start a project, even when it’s high-priority
• Unable to prioritize and manage tasks
• Unable to maintain focus and easily distracted
• Poor time management
• Time blindness (unaware of ticking time)
• Rapid mood and emotional changes
• Difficulty making decisions
• Unable to listen actively
• Jumping from one task to another
• Losing train of thoughts
• Lack of focus
• Lack of clarity (brain fog)
• Avoiding tasks requiring sustained focus

ADHD paralysis may seem similar to procrastination, but the two aren’t the same. We’ve all procrastinated at one point or another, putting off tasks when we’re tired or demotivated.

On the other hand, ADHD paralysis occurs when a person is overloaded with information, tasks, or instructions. They begin to shut down and freeze, and this response is typically out of their control.

Types of ADHD Paralysis: Brain Crash, Overthinking, and Procrastination

There are three main types of ADHD paralysis: mental, choice, and task.

It may be helpful to understand which type of ADHD paralysis affects you at any given moment. You’ll then be able to figure out the root cause and find the best solution to unfreeze yourself.

The following are the three types of ADHD paralysis that a person may experience.

ADHD Mental Paralysis

ADHD mental paralysis occurs when a person is overwhelmed with thoughts, emotions, and information, or experiences sensory overload.

It feels like a “brain crash,” which can cause the person to struggle with processing information and organizing their thoughts. This makes it difficult to figure out what to do or say next.

ADHD Choice Paralysis

This is also known as “analysis paralysis” or “ADHD decision paralysis.”

It happens when someone is faced with too many choices and has to make a decision. They may overthink or overanalyze the situation, becoming overwhelmed. They might struggle to pick an option or implement a solution.

This type of paralysis usually boils down to the fear of failure or making a wrong decision.

It might involve something big, like making a work decision on how to move a project forward. But it could also affect smaller, everyday activities, like choosing where or what to eat for dinner.

Sometimes, analysis paralysis can lead to bigger problems than if the person had made a quicker decision. 

ADHD decision paralysis also slows down a person’s decision-making process. This can affect progress and productivity and limit a person’s achievements in a specific timeframe. 

ADHD Task Paralysis

ADHD task paralysis, often described as ADHD procrastination paralysis, occurs when a person with ADHD feels hesitant, scared, or unmotivated to begin a task. 

This is especially true if the project is new or complex and involves multiple steps and instructions.

In other cases, the ADHDer might feel understimulated when tackling a boring or repetitive task, resulting in a lack of motivation.

The individual may procrastinate and avoid their tasks as much as possible by doing other activities or zoning out. 

Task paralysis can affect various activities, such as completing work projects, running errands, or even doing chores at home.

ADHD Paralysis in Scientific Studies

ADHD paralysis isn’t an actual medical condition or formal symptom required for the diagnosis of ADHD. Because of this, there’s still a lack of concrete research on its exact causes, impact, and management options. 

However, existing research suggests certain links between ADHD and ADHD paralysis.

ADHD paralysis happens due to the unique wiring of the ADHD brain. Research shows that the differences in electrical activity of the ADHD brain make it harder to filter out irrelevant information and distractions.^[2]

This is why the ADHD brain can be easily overloaded or overstimulated by information or stimuli — contributing to ADHD paralysis. 

ADHD is also linked to emotional dysregulation. ADHDers may find it difficult to control or regulate their emotions.^[3] Small triggers may lead to big emotions, hindering their ability to judge, think, and make decisions. When overwhelmed with big emotions, they may experience mental paralysis.

Apart from this, research also suggests a connection between ADHD and motivation. The chemical messenger dopamine functions differently in the ADHD brain. This changes how the brain processes reward and motivation.^[4]

As a result, ADHDers may have trouble building the motivation to move on to activities they don’t find rewarding or enjoyable. This leads to ADHD task paralysis, where individuals may struggle to start working on boring but important tasks. 

ADHD Paralysis vs. Executive Dysfunction

Executive dysfunction refers to a set of symptoms where a person finds it challenging to manage their thoughts, emotions, and actions. It affects various skills. Examples include planning, organizing, remembering details, managing time, and regulating emotions.^[5]

ADHD paralysis and executive dysfunction might seem similar. After all, they share overlapping symptoms like procrastination, lack of focus, and poor motivation.

However, these two terms refer to different phenomena. If you have ADHD paralysis, you might struggle to complete your tasks due to being overwhelmed by your thoughts, emotions, or environment.

In contrast, if you experience executive dysfunction, you may lack the skills or ability to manage and move your projects forward. Examples include planning, staying focused, remembering important details, and solving problems. So, you might have trouble starting or completing your tasks on time.

Hyperfixation and Its Relationship to Paralysis

ADHD hyperfixation seems like the opposite of what ADHD is most known for—which is a lack of focus. 

This phenomenon refers to a prolonged and intense focus on a task. When it occurs, the person becomes completely absorbed or engrossed in that specific activity, making them oblivious to what’s happening around them or how much time has passed. 

Most ADHDers experience hyperfocus when participating in enjoyable, interesting, or stimulating activities. 

In some instances, ADHD hyperfixation can be linked to ADHD task paralysis. 

When ADHDers are so focused on a specific activity, they may be unable to start or move on to another task, even if it’s more important or urgent than what they’re doing. This leads to task paralysis, where they cannot get the ball rolling because they’re so fully immersed in something else. 

ADHD paralysis, executive dysfunction, and hyperfixation can all affect ADHDers. Luckily, some strategies and structures can help those struggling with them.

Let’s explore these strategies in the section below.

8 Strategies to Overcome ADHD Paralysis

Ready to stop feeling paralyzed by ADHD – and start getting things done?

Proper diagnosis and treatment by a specialist are the best ways to get a handle on your ADHD symptoms.

However, you can also build structures into your routine to help you organize and prioritize your responsibilities at work, school, or home.

These simple tools and strategies can help you get unstuck.

1. The Daily Brain Dump

Staying organized can be one of the biggest challenges for someone with ADHD.

Being bombarded with too many thoughts at once may also cause you to feel overwhelmed, especially when you try to organize them all in your head.

So, what you can do instead is an ADHD “brain dump.” Here’s how it works:

1. Write your thoughts on a digital document, paper, or Post-It note.
2. Review and eliminate those that you don’t really need.
3. Prioritize and organize the thoughts and tasks left on the list, then split them into different categories or deadlines.
4. Add them to your Google Calendar to track and receive automated reminders of your due dates and events.

A written list of the tasks and projects you need to complete makes it easier to organize them.

2. Make Tasks Achievable (Easy Wins)

Navigating a large, complex project can be intimidating. Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, break the project into smaller, more achievable sub-tasks.

This can be as simple as replying to an email or assigning a role to a team member.

Keep each sub-task small enough to be completed within an hour or so. And, of course, it’s good to make time for short breaks in between.

Keep track of your subtasks in a to-do list and cross off each item as you complete them. Every item counts toward completing the bigger project—even if it’s an easy win!

Every item you complete helps build motivation and foster a sense of accomplishment, which is a great way to keep the momentum going.

3. Keep Your Work Schedule Simple

Planning your work schedule for an entire day can sometimes feel like too much information to process at once.

So instead of scheduling and planning a specific duration of time for every task on your to-do list, try this instead: Designate time for just one task. 

This means that you’d only plan the time needed to complete one task at a time. Once you’ve completed that first task, plan time for the next one, and so on.

This can be especially helpful if you’re tackling a new project or responsibility you need to familiarize yourself with, since you might not be able to gauge the amount of time you’ll need to complete it.

4. Focus on Completion, Not Perfection

It’s best to let perfection go while doing your work. Processing too many details at once may leave you feeling overwhelmed.

Instead, focus on completing the task. After finishing each sub-task or small milestone, you may quickly refer back to the instructions to ensure you’re on track.

Also, try to be realistic about how much you can accomplish. Taking on more work than you can manage or designating too little time for each task will only lead to excess stress and pressure.

5. Make Room for Rewards

One fantastic way to boost your ADHD motivation is by intentionally creating space to celebrate your achievements and reward yourself.

The reward doesn’t have to be extravagant; you can simply treat yourself to something that helps you relax or brings you joy after completing a tedious or mundane chore.

This can be as simple as enjoying your favorite chocolate, listening to your favorite music, or having a nice meal at a quiet restaurant.

6. Get up and Move

Repetitive or routine tasks can quickly become boring to the brain. At the same time, working on a complex or new project can lead to mental exhaustion and information overload.

In either case, you can take a quick movement break between tasks to give your brain time to rest. Taking a break is, in fact, productive. It can help you feel more alert, composed, and mentally stimulated when you get back to work.

This movement break can be quick and convenient, like taking a walk around the block or doing a few stretches. Scheduling an exercise session into your daily routine can also be beneficial.

In fact, research shows that exercise can improve ADHD symptoms and attention.^[6]

7. Keep Things Interesting

Staying focused on mundane and repetitive work can be challenging. So, to keep yourself productive, you can incorporate bits of novelty into your daily routine.

Try changing things up a little. For instance, you could redecorate your office cubicle, work from a nice café, or try out a new tool or app.

You could also find a buddy to complete mundane tasks with. Also known as body doubling, this productivity strategy works by having you finish boring tasks with another person beside you to keep you accountable.

8. Do Things You Love

All work and no play can lead to mental exhaustion, burnout, and increased stress, which may contribute to ADHD paralysis.

So, it’s best to make time for the personal interests and activities you enjoy. And remember, don’t be afraid to explore new creative pursuits, recreational activities, and hobbies whenever possible.

Doing what you love can help relieve tension, clear your mind, and introduce novelty into your day-to-day routines.

Bonus Tip: Seek Support for ADHD Paralysis

Dealing with adult ADHD symptoms may leave you feeling overwhelmed. But that’s not your fault. No matter your situation, you’re not alone.

The ADHD community includes people from all walks of life, many of whom actively share their experiences and support each other. Connecting with a support group is a great way to access support and empathy from those who have walked in your shoes.

If you’d like to understand more about adult ADHD, ADDA+ offers 200+ webinars, peer support groups, work groups, and much more.

You may also seek personalized advice from an ADHD coach. They’ll work with you on customized strategies for your unique challenges, whether it’s time management, organization, or task prioritization.

Additionally, ADDA’s directory of therapists and coaches can point you toward the right professional.

ADHD paralysis doesn’t have to prevent you from pursuing your academic, career, or personal goals. With the proper strategies, treatment, and support, you can overcome it and accomplish what you set your mind to.

Learning how to modify and implement these strategies to fit your routine and lifestyle will take time. So don’t forget to be patient and kind to yourself along the way!

References

[1] Ginapp, C. M., Macdonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2022). The lived experiences of adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A rapid review of qualitative evidence. Frontiers in psychiatry, 13, 949321. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.949321

[2] Osborne, J. B., Zhang, H., Carlson, M., Shah, P., & Jonides, J. (2023). The association between different sources of distraction and symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 14, 1173989. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1173989

[3] Soler-Gutiérrez, A. M., Pérez-González, J. C., & Mayas, J. (2023). Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. PloS one, 18(1), e0280131. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280131

[4] Morsink, S., Van der Oord, S., Antrop, I., Danckaerts, M., & Scheres, A. (2021). Studying Motivation in ADHD: The Role of Internal Motives and the Relevance of Self Determination Theory. Journal of Attention Disorders, 26(8), 108705472110509. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547211050948

[5] Martínez-Pernía, D., Olavarría, L., Fernández-Manjón, B., Cabello, V., Henríquez, F., Robert, P., Alvarado, L., Barría, S., Antivilo, A., Velasquez, J., Cerda, M., Farías, G., Torralva, T., Ibáñez, A., Parra, M. A., Gilbert, S., & Slachevsky, A. (2023). The limitations and challenges in the assessment of executive dysfunction associated with real-world functioning: The opportunity of serious games. Applied Neuropsychology: Adult, 1–17. https://doi.org/10.1080/23279095.2023.2174438

[6] Xie, Y., Gao, X., Song, Y., Zhu, X., Chen, M., Yang, L., & Ren, Y. (2021). Effectiveness of physical activity intervention on ADHD symptoms: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12(1). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.706625

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The good news? While ADHD doesn’t fade, it also doesn’t necessarily worsen with age. With the right strategies and support, adults can learn to manage their ADHD symptoms and thrive.

So, how does ADHD change as you age? This article explores what to expect, the challenges you may face, and how to take control of your ADHD so you can thrive personally and professionally. 

How Does ADHD Affect Adults?

ADHD in adults can look different from one individual to another. 

Some adults may struggle more with symptoms of inattention. For instance, they may have trouble focusing, staying organized, or planning activities. They may also find it harder to remember essential details or where they placed their belongings. 

In contrast, some may experience more challenges related to hyperactivity or impulsivity. They may often feel restless, talk excessively, and have difficulty waiting their turn. 

Due to these symptoms, ADHD can be disruptive and affect various areas of life, such as work and relationships.^[3]

Challenges of Adulting with ADHD

Adulthood comes with many responsibilities, which can be overwhelming for adult ADHDers. 

ADHD is often linked to poor focus, memory, planning, and motivation, which can interfere with a person’s ability to finish such tasks. Tasks like paying bills on time, keeping track of project deadlines, and completing chores can be much harder with ADHD symptoms.

Although these symptoms may seem daunting, you can manage them with the right tools and strategies.

Unique Stressors in Adulthood

The challenges and responsibilities of adulthood can make symptoms of ADHD more evident if they’re not managed well. 

Career and academic expectations can make ADHD traits more obvious. For instance, an ADHDer may need to work twice as hard as their peers to finish a project at work or achieve a good grade at school. 

Financial stressors can also accentuate some symptoms. Symptoms like impulsivity and poor focus can make budgeting, saving, and paying bills on time difficult. In fact, ADHDers tend to report more problems with impulse buying, exceeding credit card limits, and having a low savings rate.^[4]

Family and relationship commitments in adulthood can make ADHD symptoms more noticeable. Managing chores, caring for kids, and balancing other responsibilities can be challenging. With ADHD in the mix, these tasks may feel even more difficult without support systems in place. 

Because of these different stressors, symptoms of ADHD may seem to be worse in adulthood. 

Does ADHD Get Worse with Age, or Just Feel Different?

ADHD is unlikely to get worse with age. However, the increasing responsibilities and challenges of adulthood may make it seem that way. 

For example, juggling work, family, and personal responsibilities may amplify existing difficulties with focus or organization. But, in reality, the greater external demands are simply exposing or highlighting symptoms of ADHD. 

While symptoms may evolve in how they present over time, they don’t necessarily indicate that your condition is getting worse. Instead, they highlight areas where treatment and strategies can provide valuable support. 

Many adults may hesitate to seek help, believing ADHD is exclusive to childhood and no longer relevant. Breaking this misconception is crucial for understanding that ADHD is a lifelong condition that benefits from ongoing management and intervention.

The good news is that seeking professional help can enable you to manage your ADHD symptoms better. With this, you can navigate adulthood with greater ease and confidence!

Signs That ADHD May Be Changing with Age

As you go through different stages of life, symptoms of ADHD can fluctuate. Some might become more evident or disruptive, while others may wane or get milder as you age. 

Let’s explore how ADHD symptoms may change as a person gets older. 

Symptoms That Usually Get Worse

As a person ages, it’s natural for their cognitive function to decline. Some areas that may be impacted by the combined effects of cognitive decline and ADHD symptoms include:

• Working Memory: The ability to temporarily store and recall details or instructions needed to complete a task. For instance, remembering a password or following a recipe is harder. It can be affected by both ADHD and aging. It can be affected by both ADHD and aging. 
• Brain fog: A cloudy mental state where a person cannot focus or think clearly. 
• Brain processing speed: The ability to quickly collect, analyze, and respond to information may decline with age. Poor focus from ADHD may further affect this ability. 

Again, these declines don’t mean that your ADHD symptoms can get worse with age. Instead, the brain naturally won’t be as quick or sharp with advancing age, which, in turn, can affect ADHD symptoms. 

Symptoms That Usually Improve

Certain ADHD symptoms may improve during the transition from childhood to adulthood. These are mainly symptoms of impulsivity or hyperactivity, which tend to be milder for adults.^[5]

They can also be experienced differently. For instance, children with ADHD may move around a lot or are unable to keep still. This often manifests as inner restlessness or fidgeting, which is less disruptive in adults. 

Symptoms That Usually Stay the Same

Researchers have also found that most symptoms of ADHD remain relatively stable from early adulthood to the later stages of life.^[5]

Examples include time blindness, disorganization, poor planning, and lack of focus. 

Factors That Can Make ADHD Seem Worse

Different factors have varying impacts on a person’s ADHD. 

One example is the increased stress experienced in adulthood. This may result from increased family duties, work demands, or financial responsibilities. Being stressed out can make it difficult to focus and make decisions effectively. 

Elevated stress can also affect your quality and duration of sleep at night. Without enough sleep, you may experience difficulty in focusing, planning, and remembering details. So, stressful seasons in life can accentuate ADHD symptoms. 

A change in your mental well-being can also affect your ADHD symptoms. ADHD tends to co-occur with other mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety.^[6]

A combination of ADHD and other mental health conditions can exacerbate symptoms. For instance, symptoms of depression include slowed thinking and difficulty concentrating. So, having both depression and ADHD may amplify the challenges of living with ADHD. 

The Science Behind ADHD and Aging

ADHD symptoms are unlikely to get worse due to aging. 

However, you can expect some changes in the brain that may overlap with or accentuate ADHD-related struggles. 

Exploring ADHD and Cognitive Changes with Age

As people age, it’s only natural for them to experience cognitive changes linked to growing older. 

For example, older adults may have memory challenges. They may forget important dates, misplace their belongings, or think slower. Difficulty focusing, multitasking, or retaining information are other possible issues. 

This can impact their skills and abilities, including memory, planning, organization, and focus. With ADHD, these challenges become even more pronounced. As a result, their daily activities and overall independence can be impacted. 

Neurotransmitters and ADHD Over Time

Aging is closely tied to changes in the pathways of a chemical messenger in the brain called dopamine. Dopamine plays a significant role in focus, mood, and memory. 

As people get older, there is a decline in the number of dopamine receptors and the ability of dopamine to bind to these receptors. As a result, older adults may experience a decrease in their cognitive function, thinking speed, and working memory.^[7]

ADHD is also linked to disruption in dopamine function in the brain. This is what contributes to the lack of focus and motivation in ADHD. When combined, the effects of aging and ADHD on dopamine can intensify various challenges. So, focus, motivation, memory, and emotional regulation may be affected. 

How to Manage ADHD Symptoms at Any Age

It’s never too late to get your ADHD symptoms diagnosed and treated.

No matter your age or which stage of life you’re in, ADHD can be effectively managed with various strategies, medications, and therapy. 

Here are effective strategies to manage ADHD symptoms across different life stages:

• Seek professional help. A medical professional can diagnose your symptoms and recommend medications to treat ADHD. The most commonly used medications are stimulant medications. These help to balance the level of neurotransmitters in your brain. 
• Go for ADHD therapy. This is an effective non-drug method to manage ADHD and is often used in combination with medications. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one example. CBT helps you identify unhelpful thinking patterns. You’ll learn to replace them with healthier coping strategies.
• Use productivity and organizational tools. Planners, apps, alarms, and routines are tools that can help you better plan and organize your daily activities. 
• Make healthy lifestyle changes. Incorporating exercise into your routine and practicing a balanced diet can keep your mind and body in tip-top condition. It’s also best to practice good sleep hygiene. Try to have a fixed bedtime, avoid screens before bed, keep your bedroom dark and cool, and limit caffeine intake in the evening. These habits can also improve your sleep, positively affecting your mood and focus. 
• Seek community support. Surrounding yourself with a community that understands your challenges can make the journey of navigating ADHD less lonely. It also opens up opportunities to exchange support, advice, and tips with people who have walked in your shoes. 

While medication can address chemical imbalances in the brain, therapy and lifestyle changes ensure a comprehensive approach to managing ADHD traits. By applying multiple strategies like therapy or ADHD coaching, you can tackle the condition internally and externally for greater long-term success.

Getting Treated for ADHD: The Ship Hasn’t Sailed Yet

ADHD symptoms typically don’t worsen with age, though they often persist well into adulthood. However, this doesn’t mean you’ll struggle with them forever. 

With the right support, strategies, and treatment plan, you can see significant improvements and lead a fulfilling life at any age.

If you want to learn more about how ADHD symptoms can evolve and affect your daily life, check out ADDA+. This hub is packed with resources crafted by experts and helpful courses, webinars, and tools to help you thrive with ADHD! You’ll also gain community access where you can connect with others to exchange advice and encouragement throughout your journey. 

References

[1] Jiménez-Muñoz, L., Olatz Lopez-Fernandez, Inmaculada Peñuelas-Calvo, Delgado-Gómez, D., Miguélez-Fernández, C., López-González, S., González-Garrido, C., Baca-García, E., Carballo, J. J., & Porras-Segovia, A. (2024). Persistence of ADHD into adulthood and associated factors: a prospective study. Psiquiatría Biológica, 32(2), 100529–100529. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psiq.2024.100529

[2] Goodman, D. W., Cortese, S., & Faraone, S. V. (2024). Why is ADHD so difficult to diagnose in older adults? Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics, 1–4. https://doi.org/10.1080/14737175.2024.2385932

[3] Rivas-Vazquez, R. A., Diaz, S. G., Visser, M. M., & Rivas-Vazquez, A. A. (2023). Adult ADHD: Underdiagnosis of a Treatable Condition. Journal of Health Service Psychology, 49(1), 11–19. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42843-023-00077-w

[4] ‌Koerts, J., Bangma, D. F., Fuermaier, A. B. M., Mette, C., Tucha, L., & Tucha, O. (2021). Financial judgment determination in adults with ADHD. Journal of neural transmission (Vienna, Austria: 1996), 128(7), 969–979. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00702-021-02323-1

[5] Henning, C. T., Summerfeldt, L. J., & Parker, J. D. A. (2024). Longitudinal Associations Between Symptoms of ADHD and Life Success: From Emerging Adulthood to Early Middle Adulthood. Journal of attention disorders, 28(7), 1139–1151. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547241239148

[6] Riglin, L., Leppert, B., Dardani, C., Thapar, A. K., Rice, F., O’Donovan, M. C., Davey Smith, G., Stergiakouli, E., Tilling, K., & Thapar, A. (2021). ADHD and depression: investigating a causal explanation. Psychological medicine, 51(11), 1890–1897. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291720000665

[7] Lee, J., & Kim, H.-J. (2022). Normal Aging Induces Changes in the Brain and Neurodegeneration Progress: Review of the Structural, Biochemical, Metabolic, Cellular, and Molecular Changes. Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnagi.2022.931536

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This goes to show that many adults live with undiagnosed ADHD, are often unaware of how much it impacts their lives. 

ADHD can make it difficult for individuals to complete tasks, meet deadlines, and control impulses. Without proper support or treatment, this condition can be an invisible weight that holds them back from reaching their goals.

If you have undiagnosed ADHD, it’s easy to blame yourself or think you’re just not trying hard enough. But the fact is that ADHD is a real medical disorder affecting the brain. The difficulties you face don’t reflect your character or abilities — they’re simply the result of untreated symptoms of ADHD. 

The good news is that a proper diagnosis can be transformative. It opens the door to support and treatment, empowering you to overcome your challenges and reach new milestones in your life. 

What Is Undiagnosed ADHD?

Undiagnosed ADHD refers to attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) that a medical professional has not formally diagnosed. ADHD is a condition affecting the brain marked by symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity.

ADHD in adults often goes unnoticed because its symptoms can be subtle or mistaken for personality traits. Behaviors like excessive talking might be labeled as being a “chatterbox,” or procrastination could be seen as laziness.

How Does ADHD Go Undiagnosed in Adults?

There are different reasons why ADHD is more likely to go undiagnosed in adults.

ADHD often looks different in adults than in children, which makes it harder to detect. Many people associate ADHD with hyperactivity, but this symptom often changes as the individual gets older.

Symptoms of hyperactivity tend to wane, subside, or become more subtle with age.^[2] In children, outbursts of energy are common. In contrast, adults may experience constant restlessness or the need to always be on the go.^[3]

Without this understanding, adults may dismiss the possibility of having ADHD due to the absence of obvious hyperactive behaviors.

Additionally, many adults have built coping mechanisms over the years of having the same struggles. Some of these strategies may help them mask their ADHD symptoms. For example, an ADHDer might work twice as hard as their peers to get to where they’re at. This high-functioning ADHD can make it harder to recognize and spot symptoms of ADHD.

ADHD also commonly co-occurs with other mental health disorders. Research suggests that up to 80% of adult ADHDers may have another disorder alongside their ADHD, including anxiety, tics, and depression.^[4]

This can make diagnosis even more tricky, as they may be diagnosed for one condition while the other is overlooked. 

Types of ADHD and How They Manifest in Adults

ADHD can affect adults in different ways. 

Based on a person’s symptoms, they may be diagnosed with any of the three main types of ADHD. These include:^[5]

• Predominantly inattentive: If you have ADHD-PI, you’ll find it difficult to focus, remember details, follow instructions, and keep up in conversations. You might be forgetful, misplace important items, and have trouble with organization and planning. While hyperactivity or impulsivity can still occur, the main challenge is inattention. 
• Predominantly hyperactive/impulsive: Children may be unable to keep still, constantly run around, or squirm about. In adults, this may look more like fidgeting, being unable to wait their turn, interrupting others, always being on the go, or feeling restless. Inattention may also be present. However, hyperactivity and impulsivity are much more prominent in this subtype.
• Combined type: Adults with this type of ADHD experience significant symptoms of both inattention and hyperactivity or impulsivity. 

For a diagnosis, you’d have to experience symptoms of ADHD for 6 months or more. Your symptoms will also be present in two or more areas of your life, such as at work, school, home, or in your relationships. 

Signs of Undiagnosed ADHD in Adults

Symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD can significantly affect different areas of your life. They might impact your productivity or performance at work or make it difficult to communicate well in relationships. 

Recognizing the signs in yourself or a loved one is an essential first step toward change. By identifying these symptoms, you can start to address them and minimize the impact of ADHD. 

Emotional and Behavioral Indicators of ADHD

ADHD can change the way you process, regulate, and express your emotions.^[6] It can also cause impulsivity or hyperactivity.

Some emotion-related indicators of ADHD include:^[7]

• Having mood swings
• Being emotionally sensitive
• Getting irritated or frustrated over small things
• Easily over-excitable
• Quick to anger or argumentative
• Having emotional responses that feel disproportionate to the situation

Hyperactivity and impulsivity can lead to behaviors and symptoms such as:^[5]

• Making hasty or impulsive decisions
• Engaging in risky behaviors, like speeding
• Interrupting others or finishing their sentences
• Being unable to wait your turn in conversations
• Intruding or taking over what others are doing 
• Fidgeting and being unable to sit still
• Leaving your seat during inappropriate times
• Always on the go 

Cognitive and Organizational Struggles

Because ADHD alters the way your brain processes information, you may experience the following symptoms:^[5]

• Struggling to remember details and follow through on instructions
• Being forgetful in daily life, such as forgetting appointments, errands, or tasks
• Experiencing mental overload or ADHD paralysis
• Poor organizational skills
• Difficulty with planning
• Misplacing important items
• Running late or failing to meet deadlines due to time blindness
• Experiencing ADHD brain fog or mental exhaustion 
• Challenges with problem-solving or adapting to different situations

Focus and Motivation Challenges

ADHD is linked to structural and chemical differences in the brain. Undiagnosed ADHD can contribute to challenges with focus and motivation. 

Some of these struggles include:^[5]

• Trouble maintaining focus, especially with routine or boring tasks
• Getting easily distracted
• Difficulty focusing in conversations
• Avoiding or being reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained focus
• Lacking the motivation to start or complete tasks
• Procrastinating despite looming deadlines

Every individual experiences a few of the above symptoms from time to time. But for an actual ADHD diagnosis, you’d have to notice multiple symptoms that are persistent and appear in different areas of your life. 

What Does Undiagnosed ADHD Look Like in Adults?

Undiagnosed ADHD can be quite disruptive in your day-to-day. 

It can prevent you from performing at your best at work or school, making you wonder why you work so much harder than your peers to catch up. Additionally, balancing chores, running errands, or managing responsibilities might feel overwhelming. 

ADHD can also contribute to conflicts and misunderstandings in relationships. It can be challenging to communicate well, process emotions, and express them in a regulated manner. You may also find socializing, reading, and interpreting body language difficult. This can make it challenging to build and sustain healthy relationships.

It’s easy to feel at fault for these challenges you’re experiencing. But ADHD is not a reflection of your character—it’s a medical disorder. Understanding this is the first step toward building self-compassion and overcoming the shame or fear of seeking help.

Why Diagnosing ADHD Matters

Getting ADHD diagnosed is a crucial step that allows you to get treatment and support for the condition. 

For many adult ADHDers, ADHD treatment is effective in helping improve their symptoms and enhancing their quality of life. 

The Benefits of Identifying and Treating Adult ADHD

Many adults find that treatment is effective in reducing symptoms. 

ADHD medications are sometimes used in the treatment plan for adult ADHD. The first line of treatment is stimulant medications. These help to balance and regulate the levels of chemical messengers in your brain. 

Research shows the following benefits are associated with using ADHD medication:^[8][9]

• Improved symptoms of inattention
• Reduced hyperactivity and impulsivity
• Reduced risk of depression and suicide
• Lower risk of reckless behavior and injuries
• Less risk of substance use disorder
• Better employment rates

Apart from medications, there are also ADHD therapy options, which can help improve the efficacy of your treatment. 

One of the most popular forms of therapy is called cognitive behavioral therapy. During these sessions, you’ll explore unhelpful thinking patterns with your therapist. You’ll also work together to find ways to create more positive and healthy mindsets. 

Researchers have found that CBT can improve ADHD symptoms, minimize unhealthy self-beliefs, and lower depressive symptoms.^[10]

A combination of therapy and treatment can further improve the outcome of ADHD treatment. 

How a Proper Diagnosis Can Change Lives

Many adults with ADHD have found that a proper diagnosis is life-changing. Getting diagnosed with ADHD can be daunting, but it can also provide relief and answers to the constant struggles you may be facing. 

Understanding ADHD can shift how you see yourself and your challenges. This helps you replace feelings of failure or frustration with self-awareness and increased confidence.

With support and treatment, you put yourself in the best position to achieve your personal goals. You’ll be better equipped to tackle challenges at home, work, or in your relationships, which can improve your quality of life. You’ll likely also experience better mental health and have a lower risk of developing anxiety or depression. 

It’s Never Too Late to Get Diagnosed for ADHD

An ADHD diagnosis can make a huge difference, no matter your age. Adults may experience even greater benefits from a proper diagnosis and treatment. 

To get your symptoms assessed, you can either contact your doctor for a referral or go directly to a specialist who has experience working with adult ADHDers. If a diagnosis is made, your healthcare professional can recommend management options like medication, therapy, or even ADHD coaching. 

Want to learn more about the signs and symptoms of ADHD? ADDA+ is a resource center that offers materials, webinars, and courses designed by experts to help adult ADHDers better understand the condition. Through ADDA+, you can also connect with other adult ADHDers to share your experiences and exchange advice. 

References

[1] Staley BS, Robinson LR, Claussen AH, et al. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Diagnosis, Treatment, and Telehealth Use in Adults — National Center for Health Statistics Rapid Surveys System, United States, October–November 2023. MMWR Morb Mortal Wkly Rep 2024;73:890–895. DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.15585/mmwr.mm7340a1

[2] Rivas-Vazquez, R. A., Diaz, S. G., Visser, M. M., & Rivas-Vazquez, A. A. (2023). Adult ADHD: Underdiagnosis of a Treatable Condition. Journal of Health Service Psychology, 49(1), 11–19. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42843-023-00077-w

[3] Ginapp, C. M., Macdonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2022). The lived experiences of adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A rapid review of qualitative evidence. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13, 949321. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.949321

[4] Seo, J.-C., Jon, D.-I., Shim, S.-H., Sung, H.-M., Woo, Y. S., Hong, J., Park, S., Seo, J. S., & Bahk, W.-M. (2022). Prevalence and Comorbidities of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Among Adults and Children/Adolescents in Korea. Clinical Psychopharmacology and Neuroscience, 20(1), 126–134. https://doi.org/10.9758/cpn.2022.20.1.126

[5] de la Peña, I. C., Pan, M. C., Thai, C. G., & Alisso, T. (2020). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Predominantly Inattentive Subtype/Presentation: Research Progress and Translational Studies. Brain sciences, 10(5), 292. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci10050292

[6] Siham Albesisi, & Overton, P. G. (2023). Relationship Between ADHD-Like Traits and Emotion Dysregulation in the Adult General Population. Advances in Neurodevelopmental Disorders. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41252-023-00381-y

[7] Shaw, P., Stringaris, A., Nigg, J., & Leibenluft, E. (2014). Emotion dysregulation in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The American journal of psychiatry, 171(3), 276–293. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2013.13070966

[8] Cortese S. (2023). Evidence-based prescribing of medications for ADHD: where are we in 2023?. Expert opinion on pharmacotherapy, 24(4), 425–434. https://doi.org/10.1080/14656566.2023.2169604

[9] Taipale, H., Bergström, J., Gèmes, K., Tanskanen, A., Ekselius, L., Mittendorfer-Rutz, E., & Helgesson, M. (2024). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Medications and Work Disability and Mental Health Outcomes. JAMA network open, 7(3), e242859. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2024.2859

[10] Pan, M. R., Dong, M., Zhang, S. Y., Liu, L., Li, H. M., Wang, Y. F., & Qian, Q. J. (2024). One-year follow-up of the effectiveness and mediators of cognitive behavioural therapy among adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: secondary outcomes of a randomised controlled trial. BMC psychiatry, 24(1), 207. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-024-05673-8

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However, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can also cause different roadblocks in a marriage. For instance, poor focus and planning skills can make it difficult for ADHDers to handle their responsibilities. 

If you’re married to someone with ADHD, you may be experiencing what’s known as ADHD spouse burnout. This is the sense of frustration that comes from constantly dealing with these ADHD-related issues. 

It’s very possible to have a happy marriage with ADHD. But for this to happen, it’s key to understand that every ADHDer has unique strengths and weaknesses. Working together, you and your partner can harness these strengths and find strategies that minimize the impact of ADHD. 

In doing this, you and your partner can best position yourselves to build a solid and healthy relationship. 

What Is Spouse Burnout With ADHD?

ADHD spouse burnout refers to feelings of frustration and exhaustion that the spouse of a person with ADHD may experience. 

ADHD spouse burnout happens because of the issues caused by ADHD symptoms. These symptoms may include the following:^[1]

• Having poor focus 
• Having trouble organizing and planning
• Getting easily distracted during conversations
• Being forgetful in daily activities 
• Losing and misplacing important items
• Interrupting others during conversations

ADHD symptoms can cause the non-ADHD spouse to take on more work and extra responsibilities in the relationship. This may lead to resentment, fatigue, or burnout. 

Symptoms of ADHD Spouse Burnout

While everyone gets tired from time to time, ADHD spouse burnout goes beyond these occasional feelings of exhaustion. 

It can look different from one person to another. But these are the general symptoms of ADHD spouse burnout you can look out for: 

• Feeling like you’re overworked
• Often getting overwhelmed, frustrated, and tired
• Increasing resentment toward your partner
• Having a short fuse toward everything
• Experiencing constant feelings of helplessness, desperation, or anxiety
• Feeling invisible, or as if your efforts aren’t appreciated or acknowledged
• Experiencing emotional detachment from your partner

ADHD spouse burnout can negatively impact your mental health in the long run. So it’s essential to address this issue as early as possible.^[2]

What Causes ADHD Spouse Burnout?

Symptoms of ADHD can cause ADHD spouse burnout in different ways. 

Knowing which symptoms are the cause helps you and your partner build tailored strategies to target them. 

Emotional Strain From Managing ADHD-Related Behaviors

ADHD symptoms like forgetfulness, distractibility, or impulsivity can lead to different conflicts. 

The non-ADHD partner may quickly feel overwhelmed as they try to manage and minimize the impact of these ADHD symptoms. 

They also have to juggle work, family commitments, and personal needs. This can leave little time for rest and self-care. As a result, emotions like stress, anxiety, and frustration gradually build. 

Unequal Distribution of Responsibilities

People with ADHD may struggle to complete house chores or run errands. They might lack motivation or procrastinate often. They might also forget what they promised to do or leave their tasks half-done when distracted. 

As a result, the non-ADHDer might feel like they constantly have to nag or lecture their spouse to help out at home.^[2]

The non-ADHD spouse can also quickly become the “caregiver” or “parent” to the ADHDer. Burnout can set in when this person has to shoulder the bulk of the household responsibilities alone, especially if they have kids. 

Communication Challenges

Building a healthy and open line of communication can be a struggle with ADHD in the mix.

People with ADHD may talk excessively, find it hard to wait their turn, or talk over the other person. They might get distracted during conversations or say something that could hurt their spouse’s feelings.^[1]

All these traits can lead to misunderstandings and poor communication. The non-ADHD spouse might feel that their partner isn’t trying to listen to and understand what they say, leading to a breakdown of trust and intimacy. 

Feelings of Neglect or Emotional Disconnect

The non-ADHD spouse may often feel like their extra efforts go overlooked and unappreciated.^[2]

Their spouse may interrupt them, get distracted in conversations, or forget special occasions. This may lead to them feeling neglected or taken for granted.

Financial Stress

People who have ADHD are more likely to face issues in their work and career. Studies suggest that people with ADHD have a 70% higher risk of being unemployed long-term.^[3]

A lack of a stable career can cause financial strain in a marriage.

Additionally, ADHD can also lead to impulsive spending habits.^[4] This can be another cause of financial issues. Due to this, the non-ADHD spouse might feel stressed or burnt out trying to earn or save more. 

How to Cope With ADHD Spouse Burnout

It’s natural to want to care for and support your spouse the best you can. But it’s much more difficult to do this if you’re burnt out. 

Here are some strategies for non-ADHD spouses to create a healthier balance in their lives and relationships.

Prioritize Self-Care and Set Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is key to breaking the parent-child dynamic in a marriage. Boundaries define what’s acceptable and what isn’t. 

You can find time for an open and honest conversation with your partner about boundaries. 

For example, you can build a chore chart that splits the chores based on each person’s strengths. For this boundary to work, you must resist the temptation to step in and take over your partner’s share if they don’t complete it. 

If impulsive spending is causing financial strain, you can create a family budget together. Additionally, you can agree to discuss any significant purchases beforehand. 

With these boundaries in place, it also becomes easier to prioritize self-care. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential to creating a healthier you—and, in turn, a happier, more resilient relationship.

Prioritizing self-care starts with blocking out time for activities that help you unwind and recharge. These might include journaling, exercising, reading, or any other activity you enjoy.

Seek Support and Professional Help

You don’t have to navigate burnout alone. Some people can encourage, support, and walk alongside you. 

For example, you can join a support group for non-ADHD partners. These groups are a safe space to connect with people who understand your journey and can provide realistic advice. 

Couples counseling is another way for you and your partner to talk through things in a guided and collected manner. With the help of a professional, you can discover strategies to help minimize the impact of ADHD on your marriage. 

Share Your Feelings with Your Spouse

Bottling up your feelings isn’t healthy and can lead to resentment and bitterness over time. This is why creating an open line of communication with your spouse can work wonders.

You can sit down and have an honest chat whenever you encounter an issue in your marriage. Find ways to have a constructive conversation about how their actions make you feel. That way, your spouse will better understand your emotions and concerns. 

5 Ways to Support Your ADHD Spouse

Loving your spouse doesn’t mean you should do everything for them. 

Instead, there are more sustainable ways for you to show your love and support to them without spreading yourself too thin. 

1. Educate Yourself About ADHD

ADHD is a medical condition that’s scientifically proven to change the way the brain processes information.^[5]

Of course, it isn’t an excuse to be irresponsible. But it can significantly affect the way your spouse thinks and acts. 

Understanding how ADHD affects them can help you respond with compassion and empathy. It also empowers you to set realistic expectations. Plus, you’ll be better equipped to communicate in a constructive rather than critical way. 

2. Establish a Routine Together

Creating a routine together as a family helps to build structure and predictability in your daily lives. 

You don’t have to plan out your entire day from start to finish. Instead, start by adding structure to the part of the day that needs it most. 

Let’s say your mornings are frantic and rushed. In this case, you and your partner can build a morning routine together and divide duties among each other. For instance, one partner can make breakfast while the other prepares the kids for school. 

3. Use Positive Reinforcement

It’s easy for ADHD symptoms to overshadow everything else, especially the progress and efforts your spouse has made. 

Celebrating both big and small wins and showing gratitude can help boost your spouse’s self-esteem and motivation. 

4. Practice Effective Communication

Effective communication can be tricky with ADHD. You can share your thoughts and suggestions using “I” statements. Make it a point to also listen attentively to your partner without distractions. 

If a conversation becomes heated, step back until both parties cool down before continuing the discussion. 

You can also seek the help of an ADHD coach or counselor to learn effective communication practices in your marriage. 

5. Encourage Professional Support

Treatment for ADHD is life-changing for many adults. This is why it’s essential to encourage professional help and support. 

You can reassure your partner that seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness but a display of courage. Find time to sit down together and search for doctors or specialists in your area with experience treating adult ADHD. You may even offer to accompany them to appointments if they feel nervous or uncertain. 

You can also suggest exploring support groups or ADHD coaching. These are avenues that can provide both practical strategies and emotional support for living with ADHD.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are common signs of burnout in a spouse of someone with ADHD?

Some signs of ADHD spouse burnout include feeling frustrated and exhausted most of the time. You may feel resentment and disappointment toward your partner or notice you’re detached from them. You might also have little to no time for self-care, which can contribute to feelings of hopelessness, depression, or anxiety. 

How can I support my ADHD spouse without sacrificing my well-being?

Setting healthy boundaries is key to supporting your spouse without compromising your well-being. Be firm with what’s acceptable and what’s not in the relationship. Instead of doing everything for them, you can help them build self-management strategies. Examples include creating a family routine or having a chore chart for household work. 

When should I consider professional help for dealing with ADHD spouse burnout?

It’s always best to seek professional help earlier on. If you constantly experience exhaustion, frustration, anxiety, or depression, reach out for help as soon as you can. Another tell-tale sign that you need professional advice is if you and your partner often get into heated arguments and conflicts. Physical symptoms may also suggest you’re overwhelmed. Examples include poor sleep, getting sick often, or frequent headaches. 

Overcoming ADHD-Self Burnout Starts With Prioritizing Your Own Well-Being

Prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish; it’s essential. With clear boundaries, regular self-care, and a focus on teamwork, you’re less likely to get burnt out or exhausted. 

This will put you in the best position to support your spouse while maintaining your physical, mental, and emotional health. 

If you’re looking for resources on how to support a loved one with ADHD, feel free to check out ADDA+. Here, you can learn about how ADHD affects someone and explore expert-backed tips on navigating life with ADHD. 

References

[1] de la Peña, I. C., Pan, M. C., Thai, C. G., & Alisso, T. (2020). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Predominantly Inattentive Subtype/Presentation: Research Progress and Translational Studies. Brain sciences, 10(5), 292. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci10050292

[2] Zeides Taubin, D., & Maeir, A. (2024). “I wish it wasn’t all on me”: women’s experiences living with a partner with ADHD. Disability and Rehabilitation, 46(14), 3017–3025. https://doi.org/10.1080/09638288.2023.2239158

[3] Helgesson, M., Björkenstam, E., Rahman, S., Gustafsson, K., Taipale, H., Tanskanen, A., Ekselius, L., & Mittendorfer-Rutz, E. (2023). Labour market marginalisation in young adults diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): a population-based longitudinal cohort study in Sweden. Psychological medicine, 53(4), 1224–1232. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291721002701

[4] Bangma, D. F., Tucha, L., Fuermaier, A. B. M., Tucha, O., & Koerts, J. (2020). Financial decision-making in a community sample of adults with and without current symptoms of ADHD. PloS one, 15(10), e0239343. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0239343

[5] Ulke, C., Rullmann, M., Huang, J., Luthardt, J., Becker, G. A., Patt, M., Meyer, P. M., Tiepolt, S., Hesse, S., Sabri, O., & Strauß, M. (2019). Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is associated with reduced norepinephrine transporter availability in right attention networks: a (S,S)-O-[11C]methylreboxetine positron emission tomography study. Translational psychiatry, 9(1), 301. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-019-0619-y

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Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can affect how the brain regulates emotions, often leading to what’s known as ADHD meltdowns. An ADHD meltdown is the sudden and intense outburst of emotions that ADHDers experience.

When meltdowns happen, you might feel frustrated, misunderstood, or even guilty for letting your emotions dictate your actions. 

It’s important to remember that ADHD affects the brain, which, in turn, changes how you process emotions. So, there’s no need to feel ashamed for struggling with this. 

Managing your emotions takes practice, patience, and self-compassion. But with the right support and ADHD treatment, you can gain the upper hand in learning to process your feelings in healthier ways. 

What Is an ADHD Meltdown?

An ADHD meltdown involves an explosion of overwhelming emotions, such as anger or sadness, that can lead to behaviors such as yelling or crying. 

When we think of these tantrums, we might associate them with children still learning to process and manage big emotions. However, they can affect people of all ages, including adult ADHDers. 

ADHD Meltdown Symptoms

ADHD meltdowns can look different from one individual to another. However, some general symptoms include the following: 

• Screaming or yelling
• Breaking down and uncontrolled crying
• Cursing or swearing
• Irritability and low patience for others
• Clenching fists, stomping about, or throwing items
• Sweating and fast breathing
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Binge eating

The ADHD Volcano Model

The ADHD volcano model helps us understand how living with ADHD symptoms can contribute to the “explosion” of emotions. 

The innermost core of the volcano represents the basic characteristics of ADHD that lead to different symptoms. These include lower dopamine levels in the brain, poor executive functioning, and lack of emotional regulation.^[1]

These aspects can lead to various symptoms represented by the volcano’s other layers. These are the characteristic symptoms of adult ADHD, which include the following:

• Poor focus
• Lack of attention to detail
• Difficulty planning and organizing
• Difficulty waiting your turn 
• Excessive talking
• Mood swings
• Impulsivity

As you experience these symptoms, you might run into different challenges. For example, you may face trouble at work or school or have frequent conflicts in your friendships and relationships.^[2] You might also struggle to stay on track with house chores, errands, and other responsibilities. 

The resulting stress, frustration, and demanding expectations can cause pressure to build up in the ADHD volcano, eventually leading to an eruption of emotions when they can no longer be contained. 

Causes of ADHD Meltdown

By understanding the triggers of your ADHD anger spirals and meltdowns, you’ll have a better idea of what you can do to prevent or reduce them. 

Let’s discuss some common causes and triggers of ADHD meltdowns. 

Sensory Overload

Sensory overload in ADHD happens when the brain becomes overloaded with sensory information that does not seem to bother non-ADHDers. 

This occurs because the ADHD brain is sensitive. It struggles to filter out or inhibit such information from being received and processed.^[3]

If you have ADHD, you can become overstimulated by bright lights, strong smells, loud noises, or crowded spaces. When the brain is loaded with such information, you might experience an emotional outburst.

Frustration with Task Demands

Having poor focus, getting distracted, and struggling to plan and organize are all symptoms of ADHD. 

These symptoms can affect your ability to complete your daily activities and tasks. You may also feel pressure to meet the expectations of your boss, supervisor, peers, teachers, or parents. 

Emotional Dysregulation

Another cause for ADHD meltdowns is emotional dysregulation. This term simply means that the individual responds to situations in a way that falls outside what society considers normal or acceptable. 

Emotional dysregulation is shown to affect around 34-70% of adults with ADHD.^[4] The ADHD brain can change the way you process emotions, making it harder for you to regulate complex feelings like anger, frustration, or sadness.

Transitions and Changes

Significant changes can be challenging to adapt to if you have ADHD. 

The ADHD brain needs a routine or structure. However, significant transitions can completely throw off your schedule. Getting used to these changes and formulating a new routine might also take longer. 

During this process, you could become anxious or overwhelmed. 

Sleep Deprivation

Research suggests that around 40% of adults with ADHD report having insomnia symptoms.^[5]

ADHD and sleep issues are commonly linked. ADHD can make it harder to fall asleep at night, stay asleep, and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning. 

A lack of sleep, in turn, can contribute to anxiety, stress, irritability, and sadness, which increases your chances of experiencing an outburst. 

Tips for Managing ADHD Meltdowns

Now that you better understand meltdowns, you can equip yourself with strategies to cope with them when they happen. At the same time, you can also look into setting up longer-term strategies to prevent them.

Here are some practical ways to deal with ADHD meltdowns. 

Identify Triggers

After experiencing an outburst, you can reflect on its cause. You can take note of the likely triggers and even write them down. Then, think about ways you can minimize these triggers.

For example, suppose low motivation and poor focus are causing stress due to struggles with work performance. In that case, you can explore various productivity and organization tools or apps to help you stay on track.

Create a Calming Environment

What causes you to have sensory overload? Is it bright or flickering lights? Perhaps you often feel overwhelmed by the noise of crowds or chatter. 

If so, consider creating a calming and sensory-friendly environment. For example, you could opt for soft lighting or blackout curtains at home or request a quiet spot at your workplace when you need to focus. 

Additionally, consider building a quiet spot where you can retreat to regain your bearings whenever you experience a meltdown. 

Practice Deep Breathing

Deep breathing helps combat stress by lowering the levels of the stress hormone known as cortisol. 

If you want to try it, you can allocate 5-10 minutes daily to practice deep breathing. During these short sessions, find a quiet place to sit and take full breaths, focusing on your breathing. 

You can practice this technique until it becomes your immediate response when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed. 

Use a Sensory Toolkit

A sensory toolkit is a collection of items prepared in advance to help you stay calm and focused in nerve-racking situations. It’s handy if you tend to experience sensory overload. 

Here are some examples of what to include in your sensory kit based on the five primary senses: 

• Sight: Sunglasses (to prevent sensory overload), mini toy games (to distract you from overwhelming emotions)
• Touch: Fidget toys or squishy or stretchy toys, like a stress ball 
• Sound: Noise-canceling earphones, white noise or brown noise, or earplugs
• Smell: Essential oils 
• Taste: Chewing gums or mints

Stick to a Routine

Routines add more structure and consistency to your day, helping you stay better organized and focused on key tasks. They can also help reduce the mental load of thinking of every next step. 

Instead of mapping out every moment, create a simple routine with a few main daily activities. You can print your schedule out and place it somewhere you can quickly refer to or utilize smartphone planner apps to keep track of your activities. 

Break Tasks into Small Steps

Tackling a big project or assignment is daunting, which can cause anxiety and pressure to build up. To make a task more manageable, you can break it down into smaller, more achievable goals. 

Write these goals down in order and then work on them one by one. As you tick them off your list, you’ll also have the opportunity to celebrate each small win, which can help boost your motivation. 

Learn Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation refers to managing one’s emotional state and response. 

Start by practicing being aware of your emotions, especially when in a situation you don’t like. Pause and ask yourself how you feel. Then, name the emotions without judgment. Examples include anger, hopelessness, disappointment, or sadness. 

Once you’ve accepted the emotion, you can reflect on what response you’d like to give. Is there a better way to react or a more effective way to express how you feel? This gives you more control over what you say or do. 

Use Visual Timers

If you have ADHD and want to improve your time management, visual timers go a long way. They clearly show how much time you have left to complete a task, helping you meet deadlines and stay on track. 

These timers can also be handy if you often utilize the Pomodoro technique. This productivity-boosting method divides your time into alternating blocks of focused work and short breaks. 

You can purchase a visual timer online or use an electronic timer on your computer or smartphone. 

Managing ADHD Meltdowns with Calmness and Compassion

If you’re struggling with ADHD meltdowns or trying to support a loved one who experiences them, compassion and calmness are essential for tackling such intense moments. 

Responding with patience and understanding is far more effective than resorting to criticism or punishment—whether toward yourself or the ADHDer. It’s always best to acknowledge and validate these emotions instead of suppressing them to create a safe space for healing and growth. 

If you’re looking for a non-judgmental space to learn how to deal with your emotions and ADHD symptoms, check out ADDA+. This hub provides access to expert-driven resources and ADHD support groups where you can exchange support and advice with people on a similar journey. 

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an ADHD meltdown like?

When you experience a meltdown, your emotions might build up to the point where they become too overwhelming to control. As a result, you may feel like you’re going to explode in rage, frustration, or sadness. 

What triggers ADHD rage?

Symptoms of ADHD, like poor focus, lack of organization and planning, and high distractability, can interfere with a person’s ability to complete necessary tasks. This can lead to frustration and anger. Sensory overload can also increase rage and irritability in ADHD. 

How long does an ADHD meltdown last?

ADHD meltdowns can vary greatly in duration. Some individuals experience them for a few minutes, while others struggle with them for hours. 

References

[1] Véronneau-Veilleux, F., Robaey, P., Ursino, M., & Nekka, F. (2022). A mechanistic model of ADHD as resulting from dopamine phasic/tonic imbalance during reinforcement learning. Frontiers in computational neuroscience, 16, 849323. https://doi.org/10.3389/fncom.2022.849323

[2] Williams, O. C., Prasad, S., McCrary, A., Jordan, E., Sachdeva, V., Deva, S., Kumar, H., Mehta, J., Neupane, P., & Gupta, A. (2023). Adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a comprehensive review. Annals of medicine and surgery, 85(5), 1802–1810. https://doi.org/10.1097/MS9.0000000000000631

[3] Lane, S. J., & Reynolds, S. (2019). Sensory Over-Responsivity as an Added Dimension in ADHD. Frontiers in integrative neuroscience, 13, 40. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnint.2019.00040

[4] Hirsch, O., Chavanon, M. L., & Christiansen, H. (2019). Emotional dysregulation subgroups in patients with adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): a cluster analytic approach. Scientific reports, 9(1), 5639. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-019-42018-y

[5] Becker S. P. (2020). ADHD and sleep: recent advances and future directions. Current opinion in psychology, 34, 50–56. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2019.09.006

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ADHD burnout happens when you become overwhelmed mentally, emotionally, or physically. When this occurs, you run out of fuel to complete even the simplest everyday things.

It’s crucial to understand that ADHD burnout is not a sign of laziness, irresponsibility, or lack of effort. It’s a genuine issue that many ADHDers face, especially when they have to juggle many commitments and expectations.

While this experience is frustrating, it can be a good reminder that it’s time to recalibrate and re-strategize.

The good news is that you can manage adult ADHD through various approaches. When you find sustainable ways to manage your symptoms, ADHD burnout will no longer be a barrier between you and your goals.

What Is ADHD Burnout?

ADHD burnout is the exhaustion that stems from coping with ADHD symptoms. It can leave you feeling drained, frustrated, and demotivated. Because of this, simple tasks, like cooking, cleaning, or responding to emails, feel impossible to carry out.

ADHD burnout isn’t an official medical condition or a recognized symptom of ADHD. However, this term is often used to describe what many adults experience when trying to manage their daily responsibilities while coping with their ADHD symptoms.

ADHD Burnout Symptoms

ADHD burnout can look different from one person to another.

That said, there are telltale signs you can look out for that might suggest that it’s affecting you or your loved ones.

Here are some mental, emotional, and behavioral symptoms of ADHD burnout:

• Low motivation
• Constant exhaustion
• Greater irritability
• Low productivity
• Easily overwhelmed
• Frequent mood swings
• High emotional sensitivity
• Feelings of sadness
• Greater difficulty staying focused
• Low self-esteem and confidence
• Feelings of anger, bitterness, or resentment
• Emotional detachment
• Increased procrastination
• Substance misuse
• Feelings of pessimism and negativity
• Withdrawal from friends and family

The following are physical symptoms of ADHD burnout:

• Stomach aches or digestive issues
• Changes in appetite and sleep patterns
• Headaches
• Muscle tension and body aches
• Poorer immunity and more frequent illness

There are also ADHD workplace burnout symptoms, and these include:^[1]

• Poorer performance at work
• Lower job satisfaction
• More absent days from work without justified reasons
• Increased professional mistakes

ADHD burnout symptoms can mimic depression. It can be tricky to differentiate them, especially since it’s pretty common for ADHD and depression to co-occur.

One way to tell the two apart is to reflect on which areas of your life are affected by these symptoms. Burnout is usually situation-specific. However, depression tends to trickle into all facets of life, including your work, social life, and daily activities.^[2]

Of course, your healthcare professional can best assess your condition and recommend a management plan. So, it’s always best to seek professional advice if you’re unsure.

The ADHD Burnout Cycle

The ADHD burnout cycle refers to a recurring pattern of stress, reduced motivation, and procrastination.

Here are the stages of the ADHD burnout cycle:

1. Feeling motivated and excited: When you first begin a new task or activity, you’ll have a high level of commitment and interest.
2. Navigating ADHD symptoms: As you start working on it, your ADHD symptoms may interfere with your progress and goals. For instance, poor focus, high distractibility, and the tendency to make careless mistakes are common ADHD symptoms that disrupt your day-to-day activities.^[3]
3. Getting stressed and overwhelmed: Because of your symptoms, you may start to lose motivation and experience ADHD paralysis. You may also begin to wonder whether you can complete the task.
4. Using unhelpful coping mechanisms: Many ADHDers who burn out rely on unhealthy methods of dealing with stress. You may avoid the task, procrastinate, overwork, or even neglect your health and sleep. As a result, you could become too exhausted to work on your task.
5. Feeling stuck or guilty: At this point, you might start feeling guilty and losing confidence in yourself. Your mind and body may also be forced to rest and recuperate. After a while, you might feel obliged or motivated to kickstart a new project. This cycle then repeats.

Breaking out of the ADHD burnout cycle is tricky. But it boils down to developing a plan, organizing your time, and building structure into your daily life.

What Causes ADHD Burnout?

Research suggests that there’s a link between ADHD and burnout.^[4] This proves that it’s not “just in your head.”

ADHD burnout usually happens due to unmanaged or untreated adult ADHD.

Of course, it’s still possible for individuals undergoing treatment to experience burnout. That’s because other factors can also contribute, including the following.

Emotional Overload and Mental Fatigue

Based on research, adults with ADHD may rely more on non-helpful strategies in managing their emotions.^[5] For example, they may blame themselves and others or catastrophize the situation.

Thus, they might quickly become overloaded by negative feelings, which leads to burnout.

Constant Strain on Executive Function

Executive dysfunction refers to symptoms that occur when a person’s ability to regulate their emotions, thinking, and actions is affected.

ADHD can impact a person’s executive function. This leads to symptoms like being impulsive, having low motivation, and struggling to focus, plan, or prioritize.

As a result, ADHDers may constantly encounter roadblocks when carrying out their tasks and duties.

Lack of Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Without healthy strategies to adapt, the stress of juggling ADHD together with different commitments and responsibilities can cause a person to spiral quickly into burnout.

Some people may turn to unhealthy ways to cope with the frustration. Examples include overworking, procrastination, task avoidance, and substance misuse. Some may even over-plan and overanalyze each situation, which can cause decision paralysis and burnout.

Difficulty Balancing Work and Personal Life

To many ADHDers, work-life balance seems like a myth. The only way to achieve their goals and success is to work twice as hard as their peers.

This is why it can be difficult to draw the line to maintain a balance between work, self-care, rest, and doing activities they enjoy. Without these healthy boundaries, it can be easy to overstrain themselves and burn out.

Limited Support of ADHD Symptoms

Navigating ADHD is challenging to navigate alone. Without a treatment plan, therapy, supportive 

community, or understanding of your condition and ADHD symptoms, you’ll have to rely on willpower alone to get the ball rolling in your day-to-day. Unfortunately, this isn’t sustainable in the long run.

The good news is that ADHD isn’t a journey you have to walk alone. While it can be understandably daunting to seek help, it’s readily available whenever you want to take the next step.

Ways to Recover from Burnout

To effectively recover from burnout, it’s important to reflect on the most likely causes.

Do you find it hard to get the ball rolling because you don’t have proper plans or goals? Perhaps you tend to mask your ADHD symptoms by overworking.

Start by pinpointing the likely root causes. Then, you can start exploring ways to help your mind and body rest and recover without neglecting your responsibilities.

These include:

Establishing a Healthy Routine

A routine can bring much-needed structure and organization to your day. Having some structure in place might help reduce feelings of anxiety or nervousness.

Creating an effective routine doesn’t mean mapping every to-do item into a rigid time slot. That can be hard to follow if you have ADHD.

Instead, create a simple routine with 3-5 essential tasks and time for breaks or rests. You can write it down, print it, and place it somewhere visible—like on your desk, mirror, or fridge.

Building a Strong Support System

Having friends, family, or a community come alongside you during challenging times can make all the difference.

A support system helps you find strength and comfort when you need it most. It enables you to overcome isolation and loneliness, makes you feel seen and understood, and even boosts your self-esteem.

Here are a few ways you can start nurturing a support system:

• Open up about your ADHD to people you trust
• Find community groups with a similar interest
• Join an ADHD support group
• Be ready to extend help, support, or encouragement to your friends and family

Implementing Mindfulness and Stress-Reduction Techniques

Mindfulness is the practice of directing your attention to the present moment without any judgmental thoughts. This technique helps you engage with the current moment without fretting about the future or being caught up with the past. This research-backed practice can aid in relieving stress and anxiety.^[6]

You can start this in your daily life through mindfulness meditation. Find time during the day to sit in a quiet spot alone and pay attention to your breathing. Each time your mind wanders, practice gently bringing it back to focus on your breathing.

Some other stress-reduction methods include yoga, deep breathing techniques, and exercise. It’s also crucial to make time for self-care. You can start by prioritizing your sleep, maintaining a healthy diet, and allocating time for hobbies and relaxation.

Seeking Professional Help

A proper management plan is proven to be effective in helping ADHDers regain control over their symptoms.

Of course, seeking help can be difficult. Getting a trusted friend or family member to accompany you to the appointment might be helpful. You can also make notes of your symptoms and experiences so you feel more confident when speaking to your doctor.

It’s never too late to get diagnosed with ADHD, even as an adult. With the right diagnosis, your doctor can recommend therapy or medications to help you cope better with your symptoms and overcome burnout.

Overcoming ADHD Burnout With Self-Compassion

Burnout is a strong indicator that you’ve been pushing yourself too hard. While it’s frustrating when you can’t achieve your goals, it’s also important to realize that this does not and will not define your future.

Resting, recovering, and seeking support might seem counter-productive, but your mind and body need it. By showing yourself this compassion and seeking help, you’ll only bounce back with more energy, focus, and clarity to achieve your goals!

Having the right resources to navigate your symptoms and burnout can also help tilt the odds in your favor. ADDA+ is a community where you can learn about ADHD and strategies to manage its symptoms while connecting with people on a similar journey.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Does ADHD Burnout Feel Like?

ADHD burnout can feel like being trapped in a cycle of anxiety, exhaustion, and stress. You may feel mentally and physically drained, making it hard to gather the energy or motivation to do anything. Even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming.

How Long Does ADHD Burnout Last?

ADHD burnout may last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks or even months. Without proper support or intervention, ADHD burnout can persist and interfere with your motivation and productivity.

How Can I Avoid ADHD Burnout?

One effective way to tackle ADHD burnout is to get treatment or therapy for your ADHD symptoms. Other ways to avoid burnout include practicing self-care, leaning on your support system, and building a daily routine. You can also seek professional help from a specialist or ADHD coach.

References

[1] Turjeman-Levi, Y., Itzchakov, G., & Engel-Yeger, B. (2024). Executive function deficits mediate the relationship between employees’ ADHD and job burnout. AIMS public health, 11(1), 294–314. https://doi.org/10.3934/publichealth.2024015

[2] Koutsimani, P., Montgomery, A., & Georganta, K. (2019). The Relationship Between Burnout, Depression, and Anxiety: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 284. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00284

[3] de la Peña, I. C., Pan, M. C., Thai, C. G., & Alisso, T. (2020). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Predominantly Inattentive Subtype/Presentation: Research Progress and Translational Studies. Brain sciences, 10(5), 292. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci10050292

[4] Thiago Iamada Porto, Camélia Santina Murgo, & Pereira, A. (2024). Prevalence and Correlations Between ADHD and Burnout Dimensions in Brazilian University Students. Paidéia (Ribeirão Preto), 34. https://doi.org/10.1590/1982-4327e3413

[5] Soler-Gutiérrez, A. M., Pérez-González, J. C., & Mayas, J. (2023). Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. PloS one, 18(1), e0280131. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280131

The post ADHD Burnout: Cycle, Symptoms, and Causes appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

These could be signs of ADHD perfectionism. This adult ADHD trait is often overlooked, but it can influence how you speak to yourself and what you believe about yourself.

Your self-talk and thoughts are powerful. When you think you’re not good enough, putting yourself out there to accomplish your goals and ambitions becomes harder.

Conversely, when you let go of perfectionism, you’ll build healthy beliefs and mindsets about your strengths and capabilities.

This frees you from the mental restraints of needing to be “perfect.” Ultimately, you’ll have more room to explore your gifts and talents, learn from mistakes, and pursue your ambitions.

What Is Perfectionism in the Context of ADHD?

ADHD typically comes with a lack of focus, poor memory, disorganization, and time blindness—traits that aren’t usually linked to perfectionism.

Yet, research shows that this mindset is one of the most common cognitive distortions in adults with ADHD. ^[1]

That’s because perfectionism carries a much deeper definition than being “perfect” at everything. It’s better described as having greater expectations for yourself than what the situation requires.^[2]

Essentially, ADHD perfectionism can look like setting unrealistic standards for yourself. Sometimes, it involves the tendency to compare yourself to those around you. And for many ADHDers, it may manifest as a crippling fear or anxiety of making mistakes.

What Is the Root Cause of Perfectionism in ADHD?

ADHD performance anxiety and the need to be perfect often stem from the ADHDer’s life experiences.

If you have ADHD, you may have symptoms like inattention, overlooking details, or making careless mistakes.^[3] These might have also earned you disapproval, criticism, disappointment, or even punishment from other people.

Over the years, you can become hyperaware of the errors you make. You might even beat yourself up over the tiniest slip-ups and feel the strong need to impress and prove your worth to those around you.

It can be difficult to truly appreciate and commend yourself for how far you’ve come. But learning to celebrate the progress you’ve made can help you silence this urge to be perfect.

Recognizing the Symptoms of ADHD Perfectionism

ADHD perfectionism isn’t a trait that’s talked about much.

To spot it, keep an eye out for these common signs:

• Having higher standards or expectations of yourself than what’s required of the situation
• Re-checking your work over and over again
• Spending a prolonged amount of time on your tasks
• Feeling very fearful or anxious about making mistakes
• Delaying and procrastinating on tasks ^[4]
• Experiencing ADHD paralysis and being unable to make decisions or work on a task
• Choosing to avoid tasks and miss deadlines rather than turning in something “imperfect”
• Comparing yourself to those around you
• Having an all-or-nothing mindset, where something is either “perfect” or a “failure”
• Low self-esteem and confidence issues
• Getting defensive when receiving constructive feedback
• Feeling extremely discouraged when met with challenges or setbacks
• Dealing with a lot of negative self-talk and criticism
• Believing you do not deserve compliments, praise, or the success you achieve

Recognizing perfectionism is the first step to rebuilding your mindset and confidence.

From Procrastination to Hyperfocus: The Duality of Perfectionism

ADHD perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand, perfectionism enables you to focus on your task until it’s completed well. This might improve your productivity, reduce the likelihood of making mistakes, and encourage you to do your best.

However, if not kept in check, perfectionism can also lead to procrastination and ADHD paralysis.

In the long run, the pressure to do your absolute best with no leeway for mistakes might lead to burnout, exhaustion, and poor mental health.

Rewiring your mindset to be more compassionate to yourself will take persistent effort. However, it can save you from unnecessary anxiety, stress, and burnout down the road.

Why Life With ADHD Perfectionism Symptoms May Feel Challenging

There are various reasons why ADHD perfectionism can make daily life even more of a challenge.

Having almost impossible expectations is unsustainable in the long run. It can cause burnout, exhaustion, self-esteem issues, and unnecessary stress.

When this happens, you may quickly become overwhelmed. Even simple tasks like household chores might feel unbearable.

Apart from that, you’d likely experience great disappointment if you fail to reach these high standards. This can build pessimism and lead to dwindling motivation to pursue your dreams.

Strategies for Managing ADHD Perfectionism

Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to your dreams and ambitions. There’s a way to balance your mental health and self-expectations while still achieving significant milestones.

Let’s explore some strategies you can use to manage ADHD perfectionism.

1. Build the Right Mindsets

Your thoughts frame your actions, your actions drive your habits, and your habits can steer the course of your life. What you think and believe can make a significant difference.

You can try these strategies to build healthier mindsets that can help you overcome ADHD perfectionism:

• Reflect on why you feel the need to be perfect. Are you looking to gain the approval or validation of others? By understanding the root cause, you’ll be able to find more effective mindset shifts that can help you overcome perfectionism.
• Understand that perfection is the enemy of progress. The need to be perfect can hold you back from starting or continuing whatever you’re working on. This can hinder your progress and improvement.
• Keep in mind that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak or worthless. It’s a smart move to seek assistance or support.
• Practice self-affirmations. Examples include “I am good enough,” “My worth isn’t defined by what I can or cannot do,” and “I deserve kindness and compassion.” You can put these around the house, such as on your mirror, or save them as phone wallpaper.
• Begin to celebrate the achievements of others. Comparison is the biggest thief of joy. One great way to let go of the desire to compare is to start celebrating other people’s wins. It might also be helpful to take a social media break.
• Embrace mistakes as an opportunity to learn. Trying and failing is better than failing to try. Each time you put yourself out there is an opportunity for you to learn and grow from the process. If you don’t try, you won’t get the chance to succeed either.
• Practice being more open-minded to constructive feedback. No matter what you do, someone will have something to say. But what’s important is what you choose to do with it. Think about it objectively, reflecting on how that feedback can help you progress and improve.

2. Set Well-Balanced Goals

While setting goals and expectations for yourself, consider whether they’re realistic or necessary.

Are you constantly moving the goalpost the moment you hit your target? Do you expect yourself to be naturally good at something right away? Does every email you send out have to be 100% error-free?

Many situations might not call for the standards you set for yourself. Make sure your goals are personalized to yourself and your situation. Don’t set them based on what others have achieved.

3. Build Systems to Address Your Symptoms

Perfectionism is often a coping mechanism used to deal with ADHD symptoms. It’s a lot of pressure to depend solely on yourself to get everything right. Instead, you can build and rely on systems that can help you manage these symptoms better.

Here are some examples:

• Organization and Prioritization: An app to track your to-do tasks can be helpful. You can also color code your tasks based on their urgency so you know what to focus on.
• Focus: You can try the body doubling technique, where you work alongside another person. Another useful technique is the Pomodoro technique. It encourages you to alternate between periods of focused work and short breaks.
• Memory: Logging dates and setting digital alarms and reminders are ways to remind yourself of important events and deadlines.
• Time Management: Setting up a daily schedule or routine might help you manage your time better. It may also be helpful to plan your schedule around your most productive hours.
• Motivation: You can set rewards for achieving milestones. Alternatively, try apps that “gamify” boring tasks, such as Habitica or Forest. These use gaming elements, like collecting experience points to level up your character, as a form of motivation.

4. Celebrate Your Wins and Progress

Take some time each day to appreciate the “little” things. No matter how small they may seem. These small steps of progress can add up and pave the way toward success.

Think about how you can celebrate your big and small wins.

For example, you can learn to embrace compliments instead of denying them.

You can also reward yourself for achieving small goals in simple yet meaningful ways, like running a warm bubble bath for yourself or going out for a nice meal.

Self-Compassion Drives Away Perfectionism

You might have noticed that many of the strategies above help you nurture and build self-compassion. That’s because self-compassion is a powerful remedy for perfectionism.

Think of it like this: self-compassion is like a muscle you can train in the gym. The more you use it, the stronger it gets, and the more natural it feels.

So be patient with yourself and the process. When you choose to forgive, invest, and believe in yourself, you set the stage for greater fulfillment and purpose.

Professional advice can also be invaluable in helping you overcome ADHD perfectionism. The ADDA webinar series, Perfectionism and ADHD, offers practical insights and tips on dealing with ADHD perfectionism.

To benefit from this course and others, join ADDA+, a premier resource for adults with ADHD.

References

[1] Serine, A. D., Rosenfield, B., DiTomasso, R. A., Collins, J. M., Rostain, A. L., & Ramsay, J. R. (2020). The Relationship Between Cognitive Distortions and Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder After Accounting for Comorbidities and Personality Traits. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 44(5), 967–976. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-020-10115-2

[2] Bodalski, E. A., Abu-Ramadan, T. M., Hough, C. E., Lefler, E. K., Meinzer, M. C., & Antshel, K. M. (2023). Low standards yet disappointed: ADHD symptoms and experiential avoidance in college students. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 28. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcbs.2023.04.002

[3] Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. DSM-5 Changes: Implications for Child Serious Emotional Disturbance [Internet]. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2016 Jun. Table 7, DSM-IV to DSM-5 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Comparison. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/

[4] Katzenmajer-Pump, L., Farkas, B. F., Varga, B. A., Jansma, J. M., & Balázs, J. (2021). Low Level of Perfectionism as a Possible Risk Factor for Suicide in Adolescents With Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Frontiers in psychiatry, 12, 707831. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.707831

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But if you have ADHD, procrastination might feel like an insurmountable mountain.

While ADHD and procrastination often go hand-in-hand, having this condition does not make you lazy or irresponsible.

Knowing that procrastination is normal and understanding how ADHD contributes to it can help you develop better strategies for breaking this cycle so that it no longer prevents you from accomplishing your daily goals.

Does ADHD Affect Procrastination?

Research has shown that people with ADHD tend to procrastinate more. Those with more significant symptoms of ADHD were even more likely to procrastinate than those with milder symptoms.^[1]

But does this make procrastination a sign of ADHD? 

While it isn’t an official symptom considered in medical diagnosis, it’s still a common struggle among ADHDers.

However, ADHDers don’t delay their tasks because they’re lazy or don’t care. If you have ADHD, you might often find yourself feeling guilty, worried, and frustrated about your growing to-do list.

ADHD is linked to procrastination because of how the ADHD brain works. Your brain processes information differently, making you more likely to put off tasks.

Here are several explanations of why people with ADHD procrastinate:

• Low motivation: The brain is deficient in a chemical messenger called dopamine, which is responsible for pleasure and motivation. Lower dopamine levels can make it harder to find an activity that’s fun, exciting, or rewarding enough to complete.^[2]
• Mind wandering: ADHDers commonly have trouble regulating their attention. It’s easy for the mind to wander off when doing something mundane or boring, like paying the bills. Again, this comes down to lower dopamine levels.^[2]
• Lower emotional control: Research shows a link between ADHD as well as emotional control and self-esteem issues. Managing stress or feeling confident about your abilities can be difficult, so you may become quickly overwhelmed and shut down when facing difficult situations. This is known as ADHD paralysis.

That said, ADHD isn’t all about what you cannot do; ADHDers also have their own unique strengths.

For instance, some with ADHD can hyperfocus, which allows you to maintain focus on a task until it’s finished. Knowing how to harness this can help you curb procrastination and power through your to-do list!

Symptoms of ADHD Procrastination: Recognizing the Signs

ADHD procrastination can manifest in different ways, which can lead to issues at home, work, or school.

Here are some symptoms of procrastination due to ADHD:

• Pushing aside or avoiding tasks for as long as you can
• Having little motivation for important tasks
• Feeling overwhelmed or fearful about failing the task
• Becoming paralyzed and unable to figure out or decide what to do next
• Getting distracted easily by other thoughts
• Getting sidetracked by other activities and losing focus
• Feeling guilty or anxious and constantly thinking about the task while procrastinating
• Underestimating the amount of time it takes to get something done

Many of these symptoms are intertwined with what’s called the avoidance cycle of ADHD.

What Is the Task Avoidance Cycle of ADHD?

Sometimes when faced with a dreaded task, you simply can’t convince yourself to get started. It seems daunting and challenging, and you can’t help but feel afraid of failing. When you finally return to it, you’ve either missed your deadline or must rush to finish it at the last minute.

The task might not be as horrible as it seems. However, this experience causes you to remember it that way, distorting your perception of it and nudging you into repeating the same behavior.

This is what’s called the ADHD task avoidance cycle.

Many ADHDers struggle with it. Over the years of facing challenges due to their ADHD symptoms, they may develop lower self-esteem and harbor negative self-beliefs.^[3]

When facing something challenging, they may procrastinate or avoid it. This can reinforce their negative self-talk and thoughts, perpetuating the cycle.^[3]

Realigning your beliefs and self-talk is key to breaking this cycle. Understand that you’re not lazy or irresponsible. You genuinely care about getting things done properly, but still need to figure out how.

Luckily, there are different steps you can take to manage your emotions effectively and make scary or unpleasant tasks feel more doable.

7 Practical Strategies to Combat ADHD Procrastination

To overcome procrastination, you should determine which ADHD-linked traits contribute to it.

Do you often get overwhelmed by fear of failure? Are you easily distracted by unrelated tasks? Perhaps you struggle with ADHD time blindness and usually underestimate the time needed to complete things.

Once you’ve pinpointed the root causes, you can start implementing effective strategies to target them.

1. Leverage Body Doubling

Body doubling is a popular productivity strategy among ADHDers. In this technique, you carry out your tasks alongside a “body double.” The two of you work on a similar or completely different activity together.

The presence of this body double can create a sense of accountability and help you stay focused. Having someone work alongside you might make your task more enjoyable.

You can do these body doubling sessions in person or virtually with your cameras turned on.

2. Keep Distractions at Bay

You might procrastinate whenever you get distracted by other things.

Here are some tips to help you curb distraction and focus on what you need to get done:

• Work in an environment that’s quiet and free from distractions. For example, working in a quiet corner of the office or an empty room might be helpful.
• Avoid multitasking and focus on one activity at a time. Keep your desk free of unrelated items or documents that could distract you.
• Keep a journal beside you to write down any distracting thoughts that come to mind. After you’ve finished the task at hand, you can run through and address this “parking lot” of thoughts.
• Take concrete action to minimize your primary triggers, such as silencing your phone or locking certain apps until you finish your work.

You’re less likely to procrastinate and get carried away by managing distractions. It also increases the odds of you being able to “hyperfocus” on the activity.

3. Create Simpler Goals

A huge project or big task can appear daunting, making you fearful or overwhelmed when tackling it.

What you can do is break the big picture down into smaller goals and steps. Make these goals practical, achievable, and realistic.

It also helps to keep them on a checklist. As you progress, ticking off the list can create a sense of satisfaction and fuel your motivation.

In addition to that, you can add individual deadlines to each of these small goals. Compared to a faraway deadline, these checkpoint due dates can build a stronger sense of urgency and keep you better on track.

Of course, this might not work for everyone. If you find it overwhelming to have so many small tasks, you can instead write down the very first thing you need to do to get started on your project. It can be something as simple as “turning on my laptop.”

This may help you build the momentum you need to work on your project.

4. Manage Your Time and Expectations

Time blindness can be a massive challenge in ADHD. If you experience this, you might often underestimate the time needed to finish something or misjudge how much time you’ve spent on an activity.

You can set alarms when you’re taking breaks or doing alternative activities. These alarms can help you keep track of time and remind you to return to your task.

5. Celebrate Your Progress and Wins

Creating rewards to celebrate your progress and accomplishments is a great way to stay motivated and make a dreadful task seem more exciting and fun.

This reward doesn’t have to be something expensive or extravagant. Simple pleasures, like ordering your favorite foods or taking a hot bath or nap, can be just as special.

6. Turns Tasks into Mini-Games

“Gamifying” mundane tasks can help boost your motivation, making you less likely to avoid or procrastinate. This technique involves applying gaming elements to your everyday tasks.

For example, you can “race against the clock” when doing boring chores like folding clothes.

Alternatively, you can assign points to each task, which you collect as you complete them. At the end of the week, you can “redeem” these accumulated points for various rewards that are valued individually.

Apps like Habitica or Forest can also help you gamify tasks, improve focus, and reduce procrastination.

Gamifying tasks is one way to make things more interesting and activate your brain’s “hyperfocus” mode!

7. Hone in on a Few Tasks

You might procrastinate because that’s too much to do, which leaves you feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed. In this case, aim to cross out two or three things a day.

You can also color-code your to-do list, with the most urgent tasks in red. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the number of tasks you have to do, focus on completing these red tasks before anything else.

If your tasks are of similar priority, you can assign them all a number. Then, use a dice or random number generator; whichever number you get is the task you should work on first.

Breaking the Cycle of Shame, Guilt, and Procrastination

Ultimately, what you say and believe about yourself can influence your actions. Try to stay aware of how you speak to yourself.

Seeking professional help can also be effective. ADHD therapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can teach you how to replace unhelpful thinking patterns of shame and guilt with more useful mindsets.

ADHD procrastination isn’t something you have to beat alone, and joining a community can be a great way to build a support system.

ADDA+ is one such community where you can connect with other adult ADHDers who have walked in your shoes and can provide advice based on their experiences. This serves as a safe space for you to find support and practical tips as you learn to overcome different challenges and achieve your goals!

References

[1] Oguchi, M., Takahashi, T., Nitta, Y., & Kumano, H. (2021). The Moderating Effect of Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Symptoms on the Relationship Between Procrastination and Internalizing Symptoms in the General Adult Population. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.708579

[2] Volkow, N. D., Wang, G-J., Newcorn, J. H., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Telang, F., Fowler, J. S., Goldstein, R. Z., Klein, N., Logan, J., Wong, C., & Swanson, J. M. (2010). Motivation deficit in ADHD is associated with dysfunction of the dopamine reward pathway. Molecular Psychiatry, 16(11), 1147–1154. https://doi.org/10.1038/mp.2010.97

[3] Niermann, H. C., & Scheres, A. (2014). The relation between procrastination and symptoms of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in undergraduate students. International journal of methods in psychiatric research, 23(4), 411–421. https://doi.org/10.1002/mpr.1440

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Research suggests that this eating pattern can be associated with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), as the two often co-occur.^[1]

To break this cycle of overeating, it’s important to understand that the ADHD brain is wired to work differently, but this doesn’t mean you’re “greedy” or “broken.”Understanding the link between ADHD and binge eating can help you be more self-compassionate and forgive yourself.

Keep reading to learn the connection between ADHD and binge eating and how to build a healthy relationship with food.

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Recognizing Signs of Binge Eating in ADHD

Some ADHDers might binge eat without realizing it.

If you’re concerned that you or a loved one is binge eating, look out for the following signs:^[2]

• Feeling sad, disgusted, guilty, or ashamed after overeating
• Consuming food in secrecy or isolation due to shame
• Eating until you feel uncomfortably full or nauseous
• Feeling distressed about your eating habits
• Consuming a high quantity of food quickly
• Eating even when you do not feel hungry
• Feeling like you’re unable to stop
• Losing control over your eating

The guilt you feel after a binging episode can affect your self-esteem. This can cause you to fall into a cycle of overeating and shame, which can fuel the urge to do it again.

In these circumstances, self-empathy is an effective antidote. Positive self-talk and compassion can help you break this cycle and build healthier eating habits.

The Connection Between ADHD and Binge Eating

One of the most common eating disorders that can co-occur with ADHD is binge eating. While they might not seem related at first glance, there are a few possible explanations for why the two are linked.

1. Executive Dysfunction

ADHD is linked to problems in executive function^[3] – the set of mental skills that enable us to plan, focus, solve problems, and meet our goals.

Because of this, ADHDers may have difficulty planning and resolving issues related to their eating habits.

For example, an individual may struggle to plan and stick to regular meal times. As a result, they could get too hungry and binge.^[4]

2. Impulsivity

One of the core signs of ADHD is impulsivity.^[5] ADHDers may struggle to pause and think of the possible consequences of overeating before acting.

It can be challenging for them to control their impulses and prevent ADHD overeating when they feel the urge to do so.

3. Low Dopamine

Research has found that excessive eating involves the dopamine pathways of the brain.^[6] Dopamine is a chemical messenger of the brain associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation.

Due to a disruption in the dopamine pathway of the ADHD brain, individuals tend to choose short-term gratification over longer-term rewards.^[6]

Because of this, they may binge eat for immediate pleasure, especially when bored or understimulated.

4. Strong Emotions

Adults with ADHD may have trouble processing and regulating their emotions.^[6] Emotional dysregulation is thought to affect around 70% of adults with ADHD.^[7]

Due to this, an ADHDer might struggle to cope with negative emotions, such as stress and sadness. They might also act rashly in response to these emotions.^[7]

They may turn to binge eating to find comfort and relief,^[7] which is why ADHD is linked to a greater risk of addictive-like eating habits, including emotional overeating.

4 Strategies to Manage ADHD and Binge Eating

Finding the root cause behind your overeating can help you devise a targeted plan to break free of this cycle. This is why it’s important to take time to reflect and pinpoint which factors impact your eating habits most.

Try the following tips to manage your ADHD eating habits better:

1. Create Structures for a Healthy Diet

Being more intentional with what and when you eat can help you build healthier eating patterns.

Here are some strategies you can try to eat healthier:

• Plan your meals. Set a routine for eating that you can follow each day. You can add reminders on your phone to go off when it’s time to eat to help you stay on track.
• Schedule routine grocery runs. Create a list of items needed before you go. Opt for healthier foods and snacks rather than junk food or highly processed options.
• Stock healthy snacks. Get rid of unhealthy snacks in your home and office so you’re less likely to have access to them when the urge to binge eat hits.

You can also portion snacks into individual packets or smaller containers and only grab one whenever you want to eat. That way, you’re less likely to go through an entire bag of snacks in one sitting.

2. Be Mindful and Present When You Eat

Practice being present and mindful of what you consume.

Minimize distractions while you eat. For instance, you can turn off your TV or put your phone away. This helps you avoid getting distracted and eating without realizing it.

Pay attention to the taste and portion of what you’re consuming. Count to ten before swallowing your food and pause now and then to check if your body feels full.

3. Stimulate Your Brain

Some ADHDers may eat out of boredom since it helps to boost stimulation and pleasure.

To prevent this, keep your mind occupied during your downtime. Prepare a list of activities you enjoy, like drawing, walking, biking, playing an instrument, or reading.

When you feel the urge to binge eat, pull out that list and pick an activity to do. Eventually, the urge will pass.

4. Explore Healthy Coping Mechanisms

If stress, sadness, anxiety, or other intense emotions often fuel the urge to binge eat, you can focus on finding better ways to cope with those emotions.

Here are a few examples of ways to handle stress:

• Exercise. Researchers have found that physical activity is linked to improved mood and reduced stress.^[8] Going for a quick jog or quick-paced walk is a great way to combat stress.
• Relax. Tap into meditation, yoga, or breathing exercises to help promote relaxation. Meditation, for instance, helps calm your mind by eliminating thoughts that crowd your mind.
• Reach out to trusted friends and family. When you feel the urge to binge eat from stress, call someone you can talk to about it.

ADHD can make it tricky to deal with emotions, making it all the more important to experiment and find healthy coping mechanisms that work best for you.

Seeking Professional Help for ADHD Overeating

Binge eating isn’t an easy thing to bring up or talk about, and many people who experience it feel scared or ashamed to reach out for help.

ADHD treatment and medications may help you manage your symptoms and curb the urge to eat. Talking to a therapist or ADHD coach can also be helpful. Cognitive behavioral therapy, for instance, is one form of ADHD therapy that can help you identify unhelpful mindsets and behaviors and replace them with healthier ones.

You can also seek support from a community. ADDA+ is a safe place for adult ADHDers to grow in a community that understands their struggles.

References

[1] Yao, S., Kuja-Halkola, R., Martin, J., Lu, Y., Lichtenstein, P., Norring, C., Birgegård, A., Yilmaz, Z., Hübel, C., Watson, H., Baker, J., Almqvist, C., Eating Disorders Working Group of the Psychiatric Genomics Consortium, Thornton, L. M., Magnusson, P. K., Bulik, C. M., & Larsson, H. (2019). Associations Between Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Various Eating Disorders: A Swedish Nationwide Population Study Using Multiple Genetically Informative Approaches. Biological psychiatry, 86(8), 577–586. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2019.04.036

[2] Berkman ND, Brownley KA, Peat CM, et al. Management and Outcomes of Binge-Eating Disorder [Internet]. Rockville (MD): Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (US); 2015 Dec. (Comparative Effectiveness Reviews, No. 160.) Table 1, DSM-IV and DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for binge-eating disorder. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK338301/table/introduction.t1/

[3] Roselló, B., Berenguer, C., Baixauli, I., Mira, Á., Martinez-Raga, J., & Miranda, A. (2020). Empirical examination of executive functioning, ADHD associated behaviors, and functional impairments in adults with persistent ADHD, remittent ADHD, and without ADHD. BMC psychiatry, 20(1), 134. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02542-y

[4] Manasse, S. M., Forman, E. M., Ruocco, A. C., Butryn, M. L., Juarascio, A. S., & Fitzpatrick, K. K. (2015). Do executive functioning deficits underpin binge eating disorder? A comparison of overweight women with and without binge eating pathology. The International journal of eating disorders, 48(6), 677–683. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.22383

[5] National Institute of Mental Health. (2023, September). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd

[6] Seymour, K. E., Reinblatt, S. P., Benson, L., & Carnell, S. (2015). Overlapping neurobehavioral circuits in ADHD, obesity, and binge eating: evidence from neuroimaging research. CNS spectrums, 20(4), 401–411. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1092852915000383

[7] El Archi, S., Cortese, S., Ballon, N., Réveillère, C., De Luca, A., Barrault, S., & Brunault, P. (2020). Negative Affectivity and Emotion Dysregulation as Mediators between ADHD and Disordered Eating: A Systematic Review. Nutrients, 12(11), 3292. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu12113292

[8] Schultchen, D., Reichenberger, J., Mittl, T., Weh, T. R. M., Smyth, J. M., Blechert, J., & Pollatos, O. (2019). Bidirectional relationship of stress and affect with physical activity and healthy eating. British journal of health psychology, 24(2), 315–333. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjhp.12355

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These are called intrusive thoughts – unwanted, strange, and persistent ideas or images that appear in your mind – and you’re not alone in having them.

Research has found that people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) tend to have more intrusive thoughts than those without the disorder.^[1] This can be explained by the unique wiring of the ADHD brain, which makes it harder for the person to control their attention and thinking.

If you have ADHD, this might be something you struggle with. It might even cause you to question who you are.

However, it’s important to remember that your thoughts don’t define or represent you – what matters is what you choose to do with them.

Understandably, they can still be disruptive and cause you to lose focus or become anxious. But with the right mindset and techniques, you can learn how to manage and overcome intrusive thoughts.

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Signs of ADHD Intrusive Thoughts

Many adults with ADHD experience intrusive thoughts without knowing what they are.

By understanding what these thoughts can look like, you can label them for what they are – simply thoughts.

Here are some traits of intrusive thoughts:

• Unwanted and inappropriate. These thoughts can be disturbing. For example, they may be explicit or violent, such as imagining yourself causing harm to someone else.
• Worrying or distressing. Many people find that their intrusive thoughts are troubling or anxiety-inducing. For example, they may have negative self-thoughts. Alternatively, they could worry about doing something embarrassing in front of others.
• Out of character. You might feel disturbed because they deviate largely from your personality. They’re unusual and don’t follow your usual thinking patterns.
• Fast-paced or racing. These thoughts are usually fast-paced, as the ADHD brain can jump quickly from one idea to another.
• Repetitive and obsessive. They can be repetitive and keep coming back. The more you try to get rid of them, the worse they become.
• Unexpected and sudden. They may appear out of the blue, coming and going unpredictably.

If you experience these types of thoughts, it can be a relief to know that many other people do, too.

Having a supportive community around you can also provide comfort and relief. Through ADDA+, you’ll gain access to a community of adult ADHDers who understand what you’re going through.

How Does ADHD Cause Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts in ADHD might come from a glitch in what’s called executive function^[2]—a key player in how we remember, focus, plan, and keep our impulses in check.

Think of it as the brain’s command center that ADHD can sometimes disrupt, making those unwelcome thoughts more likely to pop up.

Because of this, ADHDers may find it challenging to focus and direct their attention. They might also have trouble inhibiting unwanted thoughts and behaviors.^[1] As a result, they can experience streams of intrusive thoughts that are hard to control.

Aside from this, ADHD is also linked to problems with the default mode network (DMN) of the brain.^[3] This part of the brain clicks on when you daydream.

Due to this, ADHD can be associated with excessive mind wandering and mental restlessness.^[4] As a result, you may often overthink and have streams of thoughts that are distracting and difficult to control.

Understanding the link between intrusive thoughts and the ADHD brain can help you show more compassion to yourself.

Essentially, these thoughts are involuntary and appear frequently because of how the ADHD brain is wired. You’re not to blame for having them.

4 Tips to Manage Intrusive and Obsessive Thoughts in ADHD

While it’s difficult to eliminate these thoughts entirely, by handling them well, you can minimize their impact on your focus, productivity, and mental health.

Here are some ways to manage intrusive thoughts:

1. Acknowledge the Thought

Trying to push these thoughts away can make them worse. Instead, try to accept them.

Acknowledge them with a non-judgemental mindset so you don’t invest emotions into them. Label them as intrusive, then let them float by. They’re likely to return, but that’s okay.

Ultimately, intrusive thoughts are involuntary and out of our control. You’re not a bad person for having them. But you’re probably irritated by them because they’re out of character and so unlike you.

2. Externalize the Thought

You might be afraid to open up about this issue. But confiding in someone you trust can help you externalize the thought, so it no longer holds as much power in your mind.

Find someone to confide in who’s non-judgemental and knows your character. They’ll provide relief and help comfort you by reminding you of who you truly are.

Another way to externalize your thoughts is journaling. By writing your thoughts down, you’re able to reduce them down to a manageable size, cutting down their perceived vastness.

This also provides you with the added benefit of being able to revisit your thoughts in the future, to see how the way you think has changed over time.

3. Keep Yourself Occupied

While you should acknowledge the thought, it’s important not to overthink or ruminate on it.

Find something that takes your focus out of your mind. When your brain finds something else to engage with, it will be much easier for the thought to float by instead of sticking around.

Certain activities can also help you to relax and destress. For example, taking a walk in nature, exercising, or spending time with your friends and family.

4. Carry Out Mindfulness Exercises

Research suggests that mindfulness exercises can help reduce how much your mind wanders.^[5] This means you can be attentive and focus better on the present moment, and you are less likely to get distracted by unrelated thoughts.

Additionally, one study discovered that mindfulness training can help a person reduce intrusive thoughts^[6] This skill teaches you to observe your thoughts without judging or attaching any emotions to them.

You can practice mindfulness at any time and anywhere. If you’d like, you can enhance this skill in your spare time by doing mindfulness exercises.

Simply find a quiet place where you won’t be bothered. Focus on how your body feels. Concentrate on your breathing, counting to four each time you breathe in and each time you breathe out. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to focus on your body and breathing.

Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Professional Help and Therapy

Navigating ADHD and intrusive thoughts is a journey you don’t have to embark on by yourself.

Though it may seem challenging, reaching out for treatment and support can significantly enhance your ability to manage those thoughts, turning the journey into one of empowerment and growth.

Certain ADHD therapies can also help. One example is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a form of talking therapy. It helps you replace unhelpful thinking patterns with healthier ones.

References

[1] Abramovitch, A., & Schweiger, A. (2009). Unwanted intrusive and worrisome thoughts in adults with Attention Deficit\Hyperactivity Disorder. Psychiatry Research, 168(3), 230–233. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2008.06.004

[2] Roselló, B., Berenguer, C., Baixauli, I., Mira, Á., Martinez-Raga, J., & Miranda, A. (2020). Empirical examination of executive functioning, ADHD associated behaviors, and functional impairments in adults with persistent ADHD, remittent ADHD, and without ADHD. BMC psychiatry, 20(1), 134. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02542-y

[3] Saad, J. F., Griffiths, K. R., Kohn, M. R., Braund, T. A., Clarke, S., Williams, L. M., & Korgaonkar, M. S. (2022). Intrinsic Functional Connectivity in the Default Mode Network Differentiates the Combined and Inattentive Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Types. Frontiers in human neuroscience, 16, 859538. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2022.859538

[4] Kandeğer, A., Süheyla Ünal, & Metin Ergün. (2023). Mentation processes such as excessive mind wandering, rumination, and mindfulness mediate the relationship between ADHD symptoms and anxiety and depression in adults with ADHD. European Psychiatry, 66(S1), S113–S114. https://doi.org/10.1192/j.eurpsy.2023.309

[5] Kandeğer, A., Odabaş Ünal, Ş., Ergün, M. T., & Yavuz Ataşlar, E. (2023). Excessive mind wandering, rumination, and mindfulness mediate the relationship between ADHD symptoms and anxiety and depression in adults with ADHD. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy, 10.1002/cpp.2940. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2940

[6] Ashton, S. M., Sambeth, A., & Quaedflieg, C. W. E. M. (2023). A mindful approach to controlling intrusive thoughts. Scientific reports, 13(1), 10966. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-37447-9

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I knew I didn’t fit in at school. I knew I didn’t fit in at college. Once I discovered I had lost interest in any career I had studied for, I knew I didn’t fit in, period.

I didn’t understand how or why I was different. Where do you turn for help? Doctors don’t understand. Employers, insurance people, teachers don’t understand. My family doesn’t understand.

And as I searched for answers, I realized even the information I needed on ADHD wasn’t made for me. The secrets were buried in dense research, hidden in a footnote on page 15… it was like no one wanted me to have them. Somewhere in their research, they needed to discover that the people who needed that information most would need it presented differently.

Before I found ADDA, I was lost, alone and filled with self-loathing. Without feeling understanding and compassion, you cannot learn self-compassion.

That is what ADDA has given me.

For the first time, I was in a space with other people hearing experiences like mine. They described the challenges of ADHD and how they influence how people treat you. Or they’re just people with a similar sense of humor, habits, needs or perspective. The information was available, and it was designed for me.

Here, I am part of the status quo. And when I do something that is natural to me but different to others, no one points it out. It’s not good or bad. I exist as I am for the first time. Before ADDA, I had emotionally and spiritually shriveled, subsisting on shallow and conditional love relationships and friendships.

Here, there’s no need to fix yourself. You’re not here to figure out how to cope while being less than. Suddenly, you realize you are not broken and deserving of love. The neuroscience-backed perspective makes way for self-compassion. ADHD isn’t character flaws or personal failings. It’s hardwired into your gray matter.

Zay Elliot, ADDA Member

The post How I stopped fixing what wasn’t broken. The Story Behind My Story appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

Weight gain is a common concern for a lot of people. However, the chances of having an unhealthy weight may be higher in those with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Research suggests that the prevalence of obesity is around 70% higher in adults with ADHD than those without it.^[1]

While others might think that this is simply an excuse, it’s a fact that certain symptoms of ADHD can make it harder to lead a healthy lifestyle and lose weight. So, don’t let yourself fall into the trap of feeling guilty – and don’t let one statistic limit your potential!

Building healthy habits can be challenging at the start. But the good news is that they’ll become easier the more you do them, and we’re here to help. And ADHDers also tend to be up for a challenge!

Keep reading to find out how ADHD and weight gain are linked and discover tips on making your weight loss goals a reality.

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Why ADHD Symptoms Can Lead to Obesity

ADHD and obesity commonly co-occur.^[2] And understanding why can help you devise targeted strategies to prevent or manage this.

Here are a few possible reasons why ADHD can make it harder to lose weight.

Executive Function Deficits

Executive function refers to the set of skills that you need for planning, decision-making, self-control, memory, and focus.

Research shows that ADHD is linked to executive dysfunction.^[3] This can make it challenging to carry out the following weight-loss habits:^[4]

• Resisting food-related temptations or suppressing undesirable behaviors
• Self-monitoring and tracking one’s progress (e.g., measuring weight)
• Keeping long-term health goals in mind when picking what to eat
• Organizing and stocking the kitchen with healthy food choices
• Planning meals ahead of time

However, having ADHD doesn’t mean you can’t set and achieve your goals. What’s important is having a system in place to create a favorable environment to lose weight.

Impulsivity and Reward-Seeking Behaviors

Impulsivity in ADHD makes it more challenging to control your behavior and impulses.

For example, you’re more likely to select immediately gratifying foods.^[5]

ADHD is also linked to a disruption in the dopamine pathway of the brain.^[6] This chemical messenger is responsible for pleasure and motivation.

Due to this, the brain is more likely to choose a small but immediate reward, like eating sugary foods, over delayed rewards, like reaching a weight loss goal.^[6]

Inattention in ADHD

Developing healthy meal plans takes time, effort, and focus. So inattention makes it easy to get distracted or disengaged while planning your weekly menu.

Inattentive symptoms in ADHD can also be linked to a lack of awareness or mindfulness about the foods you’re consuming.^[5]

Poor Sleep Habits

Adults with ADHD have a higher risk of sleep problems.^[7]

Research suggests that many have an ADHD-related sleep problem called delayed sleep phase syndrome. Meaning there are disruptions in a person’s internal clock or circadian rhythm. People can fall asleep and/or wake up at least 2 hours later than the average sleep pattern.^[8]

Researchers found that this syndrome increases the risk of obesity. In addition, those who don’t get enough sleep might also have increased food cravings and a greater appetite.^[8]

Genetic and Environmental Factors in ADHD Weight Gain

Research shows that the genes you inherit from your parents can increase the risk of both obesity and ADHD. Having a higher likelihood of developing ADHD due to your genetic makeup may also be linked to a greater risk of becoming overweight.^[2]

Environmental factors may also have a part to play in weight gain. For instance, a high body weight during pregnancy might be a risk factor for the child becoming overweight.^[2]

Other environment-related factors that may contribute to ADHD weight gain include:^[9]

• Easy access to processed foods from supermarkets and restaurants
• A family culture that uses unhealthy foods to reward good behavior
• Unhealthy dietary patterns learned from parents or society
• Lack of physical activity due to a sedentary lifestyle

Some factors, like our genetic makeup or family environment, are out of our control. But what’s important is to focus on what we can change, like our physical activity, diet, and sleep habits.

Does ADHD Affect Your Metabolism?

There’s no clear evidence showing a direct link between ADHD and a person’s metabolism.

However, ADHD may still have some sort of an impact on your metabolism by affecting your sleep or eating patterns.

For instance, people with ADHD are more likely to binge eat, eat late in the night, go for higher-calorie snacks, or overeat to remedy negative emotions. These habits may alter your metabolism.^[10]

ADHD-related sleeping issues can also affect your metabolism in an undesirable way. That’s because sleep deprivation and other sleep problems can impact the hormones that control your metabolism.^[11]

This is why good sleep hygiene can make a huge difference.

Strategies for Managing Weight Changes in ADHD

If you’ve recognized the need for change, you’ve already taken a big step in the right direction.

You might be eager to turn your entire life around for the better, which is fantastic. But what might be most helpful is to start small, making tiny changes over time, like replacing soda with water or chips with cut veggies.

Giving your body and mind time to adjust to these shifts can make the transition smoother and more sustainable.

Here are some strategies you can gradually implement to manage ADHD weight gain.

Build the Habit of Meal Planning

ADHD can make it challenging to make wise food choices in the moment. Instead, give yourself an edge by planning ahead.

You can put notes on the fridge listing the meals you plan on eating and the groceries you’ll need or chop veggies and store them in containers to have healthy snacks at the ready. Doing one or more of these can help make it easier for you to choose healthier options and lose weight.

Here are some meal planning and prepping tips:

• If you don’t like leftovers, bag ingredients for a single Instant Pot or crockpot meal, which you can make as needed.
• Create a grocery list containing all the staples, which you can reuse and adjust accordingly.
• Bookmark recipes that use the same ingredients.
• Start with easier recipes that you can freeze.

Some people find it easier to dedicate one specific day of the week to meal planning and prepping.

Others find that they work better when they listen to their mind and body. So on the days they feel the most energized and focused, they prep larger batches.

Gradually Rewire Your Sleeping Habits

Since many ADHDers struggle with sleep problems, these tips may help:

• Try to stick to a regular sleep schedule. It might be tough at first, but waking up and going to bed at the same time each day can make a difference.
• Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet at night. For example, install blackout curtains or use a white noise machine to drown out surrounding noises.
• Reserve your bedroom for sleep and sleep-related activities only. This means no working, watching videos, or reading in bed.

It’s always best to seek professional medical advice if your sleep issues are persistent and affect your quality of life.

Start With Small and Simple Exercise Routines

ADHD might make it more challenging to commit to an exercise routine. Having a mindset that focuses on progress, not perfection, can help.

You don’t need the perfect exercise routine to lose weight. Aim for improvement, for instance, progressively increasing your workout duration by 5 minutes each week.

Try different activities, apps, programs, and videos to keep things fresh and engaging.

You can also try pairing working out with something you do often, i.e., get an under-desk treadmill or pedal bike for when you’re on the computer.

Implement Structures to Reduce Impulsive Choices

ADHD can lead to impulsive decisions when picking foods or dealing with snacking urges.

To curb these impulses and improve your self-regulation, try these tips:

• Clear your home of unhealthy snacks and replace them with better options, like vegetables, fruits, and nuts.
• If you want a treat for cheat days, portion them into separate bags or containers to prevent overeating.
• Make it a rule that you never snack while distracted, like when you’re watching TV.
• Use meal-tracking apps to take note of your food portion and what you’re consuming.
• Schedule exercise or meal-prepping sessions with a friend or family member acting as a body double to help keep you accountable.

Also, remember not to throw away your chance of making good choices because you feel bad for making an unhealthy one. Maybe you missed a workout session or went over your calorie limit with a sugary snack. That’s okay!

Instead of feeling discouraged, let it go. Every decision is a new opportunity to prioritize your health.

ADHD Treatment May Help With Weight Management

Exercising, maintaining a healthy diet, and practicing good sleep hygiene can help manage ADHD weight gain.

But what could make a massive difference is getting the treatment and support you need to manage impulsivity and inattention in ADHD.

ADHD therapy and medications are shown to be effective in controlling symptoms of ADHD in adults. This can prove useful in helping you curb your impulses and make better health decisions.

If you want to learn more about managing ADHD, check out ADDA+. This resource center offers expert-led courses, resources, and tools to help you regain control over your symptoms and health.

References

[1] Racicka-Pawlukiewicz, E., Hanć, T., Kuć, K., Bielecki, M., Zaorska, J., Wolańczyk, T., & Bryńska, A. (2021). The Occurrence of Overweight and Obesity in Children and Adolescents with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder According to Three Different Diagnostic Criteria for Obesity. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology, 31(6), 430–438. https://doi.org/10.1089/cap.2020.0075

[2] Karhunen, V., Bond, T. A., Zuber, V., Hurtig, T., Moilanen, I., Järvelin, M. R., Evangelou, M., & Rodriguez, A. (2021). The link between attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) symptoms and obesity-related traits: genetic and prenatal explanations. Translational Psychiatry, 11(1), 455. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-021-01584-4

[3] Roselló, B., Berenguer, C., Baixauli, I., Mira, Á., Martinez-Raga, J., & Miranda, A. (2020). Empirical examination of executive functioning, ADHD associated behaviors, and functional impairments in adults with persistent ADHD, remittent ADHD, and without ADHD. BMC Psychiatry, 20(1), 134. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02542-y

[4] Eichen, D. M., Pasquale, E. K., Twamley, E. W., & Boutelle, K. N. (2021). Targeting executive function for weight loss in adults with overweight or obesity. Physiology & Behavior, 240, 113540. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2021.113540

[5] Bjorlie, K., & Fazzino, T. L. (2020). Impulsivity as a risk factor for weight gain and body roundness change among college freshmen. Eating behaviors, 39, 101435. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2020.101435

[6] Volkow, N. D., Wang, G. J., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Newcorn, J. H., Telang, F., Fowler, J. S., Zhu, W., Logan, J., Ma, Y., Pradhan, K., Wong, C., & Swanson, J. M. (2009). Evaluating dopamine reward pathway in ADHD: clinical implications. JAMA, 302(10), 1084–1091. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2009.1308

[7] Surman, C. B. H., & Walsh, D. M. (2021). Managing Sleep in Adults with ADHD: From Science to Pragmatic Approaches. Brain sciences, 11(10), 1361. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci11101361

[8] Vogel, S. W., Bijlenga, D., Tanke, M., Bron, T. I., van der Heijden, K. B., Swaab, H., Beekman, A. T., & Kooij, J. J. (2015). Circadian rhythm disruption as a link between Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and obesity? Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 79(5), 443–450. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2015.10.002

[9] Flores-Dorantes, M. T., Díaz-López, Y. E., & Gutiérrez-Aguilar, R. (2020). Environment and Gene Association With Obesity and Their Impact on Neurodegenerative and Neurodevelopmental Diseases. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 14, 863. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnins.2020.00863

[10] Cortese S. (2019). The Association between ADHD and Obesity: Intriguing, Progressively More Investigated, but Still Puzzling. Brain Sciences, 9(10), 256. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci9100256

[11] Sharma, S., & Kavuru, M. (2010). Sleep and metabolism: an overview. International Journal of Endocrinology, 2010, 270832. https://doi.org/10.1155/2010/270832

The post ADHD and Weight Gain: Tips for Weight Management & Healthy Living appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

Along with ADHD, I struggle with depression. Depression and ADHD are quite often coexisting conditions. Like ADHD, there are diagnostic criteria and common symptoms. But like ADHD, depression can present differently across individuals. (If you or someone is dealing with depression, please learn more and get help. But this story is not about depression, so…)

Since childhood, I’ve had professional support in different areas of my life. But it wasn’t until adulthood that I started to make real progress. Many of the coping skills I developed turned out to be bad for me in the long run. For example, rejecting myself. I almost turned down this opportunity to share my story with you. Sure, turning down opportunities prevents me from failing and protects me from pain. But how many personal and professional opportunities have I passed up in my lifetime? And the longer I practice these ‘skills’, the harder they are to stop. They become habits. But, even though I sometimes feel hopeless, I am not helpless.

As an adult, I started learning new strategies and soon saw tiny bits of progress. I realized there ARE things I can do to help myself. Like we learn skills to help with ADHD symptoms, we can learn skills to help with depression. I wish I could say, “And this is how I made changes and now everything is awesome! Call this number and I’ll help you solve your problems!” That is not where this is going.

Getting help and making changes in my life has been difficult. It is often hard for me to identify what is wrong, much less figure out how to fix it. Self-awareness is one of those areas affected by executive function. And it’s one I struggle with. I’m so lucky to have a supportive wife. But I know she gets tired of seeing me struggle. And it’s tough on her because she feels it’s her responsibility to point things out when I don’t recognize them.

Getting help has been difficult in other ways. Finding a skilled practitioner that is a good fit is hard, time consuming, and expensive. Being vulnerable for self-discovery and sharing painful experiences is taxing. I forget previous successes. I forget the supports and solutions that worked before and have to start over. And I continue to experience symptoms, which makes me feel like I am wasting my time trying to do it all again.

I’m lucky though. I have experienced a lot of success throughout my life. I am friendly, I find purpose in my life helping others, and I love to make people laugh. I can use my strengths. I am creating a wonderful life with my wife. And I have had interesting and fulfilling jobs.

I have learned many skills from peers and practitioners. I’ve become so much stronger in noticing, experiencing, and talking about my feelings. I have learned to reframe negative thoughts. I am able to see that I have had amazing experiences that are worth sharing. I have joined support groups though ADDA and learned to be compassionate and kind to myself. I also have opportunities to use what I have learned to help others. And it will be worth it if even one person reads this and finds it helpful.

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No one considered any underlying problem. I was smart. And I was a girl.

High school was easy. I never studied. The only low grades I received were in subjects that required reading and writing.

When I got to college, I crashed and burned. No discipline. No study skills. No one to hold me accountable. I barely graduated.

After college, I worked in retail for 14 years, during which I married and had two kids. I dreaded working holidays and weekends. But as a manager, I wouldn’t have to. So I entered an 18-month Branch Manager training program. To my surprise, they promoted me within 9 months. I went from trainee to running the branch, with my own trainee. All while still trying to complete my own training!

I couldn’t keep up. Between overwhelm and imposter syndrome, I sabotaged my job. They fired me. My managers pleaded with me to help save my job, but I felt I didn’t deserve to be a Branch manager because I couldn’t keep up.

Around this time, I discovered what adult ADHD was and that I had it. I was 37. I spent months grieving for those years I wish I had back. I spent the next 13 years spinning my wheels. I had no idea how to manage my ADHD, with and without meds, while trying to be a good wife, mother, and employee. I couldn’t find the right therapist that could help me. They focused on “underlying issues.” Or they imposed strategies that didn’t work. Some straight out didn’t believe in ADHD.

That’s when I realized what I wanted to do. I wanted to help people like me. I wanted to provide accessible resources and care. I wanted to give people expert, correct information. And I wanted to let them know THEY ARE OK. I wanted to make the world aware of ADHD and that THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

In 2018 things started to turn around. I found a good therapist. My company allowed employees to form groups based on their commonalities. So I started a group for employees with ADHD. And then I found ADDA. I joined to access the webinars. And to join the African American/Black Diaspora Peer Support group. It helped TREMENDOUSLY. It was so much easier to search on ADDA’s website than on YouTube.

Still deciding which path to take to help others with ADHD, I started volunteering for ADDA. They immediately invited me to join the Workplace Committee and the Education Committee. Working with these committees allowed me to better serve my group at work. I was able to host more educated and meaningful conversations.

It also prompted me to deliver a presentation to my company’s HR dept to increase ADHD awareness. I even pursued adding it to their Leader’s Class on Mental Health. In 2019, I attended my first International Conference on ADHD. I met ADDA members and people whose webinars I had watched. I connected with so many people, and it felt like home.

Being a part of ADDA has helped me gain confidence in myself and allowed my good ADHD traits to shine. I am carrying out my mission. As a soon-to-be certified ADHD Life Coach and an ADDA board member, I am realizing my goal. I’m increasing awareness and providing resources to people with ADHD.

Thank you, ADDA.

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ADHD symptoms, such as poor focus and memory, can cause stressful situations to pile up.^[1] ADHDers may experience careless mistakes, misplaced items, missed deadlines, or frequent conflicts.

Over time, encountering these daily hiccups trains your brain to keep a constant eye out for signs of new problems. This can put you in a continuous state of stress. And because ADHD can make it harder to regulate emotions, fear and anger may compound the challenge.

But that doesn’t mean ADHDers can’t thrive in demanding careers and busy lives.

Stress can be difficult for adults with ADHD to manage, but you’re in the right place. With the right tools and strategies, you can break the cycle, reducing stressful situations and boosting your confidence.

ADHD and the Stress Response

Research has found that ADHD, particularly inattentive-type ADHD, is linked to increased perceived stress.^[2]

Inattentiveness in ADHD often shows up as getting easily distracted, struggling to follow instructions, and being forgetful in daily activities. These ADHD symptoms may lead to issues at work, home, or school, as well as in relationships with others.

Additionally, ADHD might be linked to emotional dysregulation, which refers to difficulty controlling and regulating emotions such as anger and anxiety. Emotional dysregulation can make it harder to cope with stress.^[3]

Does Stress Worsen ADHD?

The link between stress and ADHD may be a multidirectional relationship. This means that while ADHD symptoms can increase stress, stress may also worsen ADHD symptoms.

More research is still needed to confirm whether stress can exacerbate ADHD.

However, some research suggests that long-term stress can lead to sleep problems, which can impair your body’s stress response and increase inflammation.^[3]

Inflammation has been shown to affect the brain’s structure and functioning. This can worsen ADHD symptoms or contribute to immune dysregulation.^[3]

In this sense, effective stress management may be a great way to prevent the worsening of ADHD symptoms. On top of that, it can also help improve your sleep and other aspects of your physical wellness.

Strategies to Reduce Stress With ADHD

Trying to stay on top of things without the right tools and strategies adds to the demands on your attention, focus, and brain. It’s also the hard way to do things.

To reduce stress when you have ADHD, you need to first identify what stresses you the most.

Does talk of money make you cringe because your bill payments are always late? Would you rather call in sick to work because you just can’t stay organized? Do you get annoyed at yourself for missing important family events?

Start with one small change to tackle your biggest stressor. It may be as simple as automating a bill payment or setting up a family calendar.

We all have things that stress us out, but stress mixed with ADHD can make things a lot worse.

Here are some ways to reduce stress by improving your organization, focus, and memory:

• Write down your tasks. Keep a daily to-do list of the tasks you need to complete. You can prioritize them based on urgency and focus on 1-2 main tasks you need to finish. As new tasks pop up, add them to your list in order of importance.
• Add key events to your calendar. To reduce the stress linked to missed appointments, meetings, or deadlines, insert these important dates into your phone’s calendar as soon as you get them. Set a reminder a day, an hour, or a few minutes before, depending on how much time you need to prepare for it.
• Use timers and alarms. Time blindness in ADHD can cause you to lose track of time, which can increase stress. To better gauge time, you can set alarms and timers that go off when a certain time limit is up. This can be especially helpful if you lose track of time when doing activities you enjoy.
• Make use of physical and digital reminders. Do you frequently forget to run important errands or pay your bills? Having recurring reminders on your phone can be helpful, but be sure to leave the notification on your screen until you’ve completed the task. Having sticky notes in places you often look at, like the mirror, and writing reminders on a whiteboard can also help you recall things better.
• Try body doubling with a friend. Body doubling is a productivity technique where you enlist the help of another person to be present while you both work on your own things. The body double can help anchor you into the present moment, keeping you focused and motivated as you work on frustrating tasks.
• Set financial goals: Money issues are often center stage when it comes to stress. To avoid or minimize this, find effective ways to manage your money. From setting goals (like buying a house) to scheduling automatic payments, there’s always a solution. You just have to find the one that works with your ADHD brain.
• Ask for help. If you find yourself missing out on family or social events, ask your partner for help. Get creative and try using a family calendar that tracks everything. If your office is too busy, ask for a distraction-free space to get work done or a project management tool to keep track of tasks.
• Seek support from others. One of the best ways to seek advice and encouragement from others on a similar journey is by joining a virtual support group for adults with ADHD.

You can start with one or two tips that target your stress triggers best. It might take some time for you to notice improvements with these strategies, so patience and consistency are key.

Tips and Coping Strategies for Stress Relief in ADHD

When these hiccups and roadblocks come along, it’s important to be able to relieve stress in a healthy manner.

The following are examples of ways you can do so:

• Exercise: Research shows that regular exercise helps protect against the negative consequences of stress, in addition to maintaining your physical health.^[4] In general, adults are recommended to do at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity or 75 minutes of high-intensity exercise per week.^[5]
• Meditation: Mindfulness meditation is shown to help reduce perceived stress and anxiety.^[6] This form of meditation trains you to be aware of what you’re feeling and sensing in the present moment.
• Breathing exercises: Different breathing techniques can help you relieve stress. In general, the aim of a breathing exercise is to train you to go from upper chest breathing to abdominal breathing. This may help calm your nervous system.
• Journaling: This typically involves writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Journaling may help you better identify your stress triggers and unhelpful thoughts or behavioral patterns.
• Self-care: Schedule time for your hobbies or activities that help you relax. Examples include taking a hot bubble bath, visiting the farmer’s market, or reading a book.

Take some time to explore these different stress management techniques. You can also combine two or three of them for better outcomes.

Stress and ADHD FAQs: Your Questions Answered

The following are some common questions about stress and ADHD.

Can stress lead to ADHD shutdown?

Being in a stressful or fast-paced situation can quickly overwhelm the ADHD brain. This may cause it to shut off due to information overload, leading to ADHD paralysis, where the person cannot think or work efficiently.

Do I have ADHD, or is it just anxiety or stress?

ADHD and anxiety can both lead to trouble focusing. If you have anxiety, you might find it difficult to concentrate when anxious or fearful.^[7] However, ADHD can make it hard to focus in different situations, even when anxiousness and fear aren’t present.

How do people with ADHD react to stress?

People with ADHD may experience burnout due to stress. ADHD burnout happens when the individual becomes exhausted due to prolonged stress and increasing demands. On the other hand, some ADHDers have developed healthy ways to cope with stress, such as joining support groups or practicing meditation and journaling.

The Role of Treatment and Support in Dealing With Stress

Living with ADHD can be frustrating, and you’re not alone if you feel this way. But what makes all the difference is how you cope with stress.

By developing healthy coping mechanisms, you can process stress in a way that helps you grow and find solutions to your problems.

ADHD medications can help you manage your symptoms better, improving how you function in different areas of your life. Support through therapy and ADHD coaching can also equip you to build personalized stress management techniques.

It’s also important to avoid dwelling on your mistakes. Navigating life with ADHD is tricky, so be sure to show yourself kindness and compassion along the way.

If you’re looking for more ways to deal with stress and symptoms of ADHD, check out ADDA+. This premium resource hub provides information, tools, and courses to help you regain control and succeed in achieving your goals!

References

[1] Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. DSM-5 Changes: Implications for Child Serious Emotional Disturbance [Internet]. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2016 Jun. Table 7, DSM-IV to DSM-5 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Comparison. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/

[2] Combs, M. A., Canu, W. H., Broman-Fulks, J. J., Rocheleau, C. A., & Nieman, D. C. (2015). Perceived stress and ADHD symptoms in adults. Journal of Attention Disorders, 19(5), 425–434. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054712459558

[3] Saccaro, L. F., Schilliger, Z., Perroud, N., & Piguet, C. (2021). Inflammation, Anxiety, and Stress in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Biomedicines, 9(10), 1313. https://doi.org/10.3390/biomedicines9101313

[4] Childs, E., & de Wit, H. (2014). Regular exercise is associated with emotional resilience to acute stress in healthy adults. Frontiers in Physiology, 5, 161. https://doi.org/10.3389/fphys.2014.00161

[5] National Health Service. (2021, January 25). Physical Activity Guidelines for Adults Aged 19 to 64. nhs.uk; NHS. https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-guidelines/physical-activity-guidelines-for-adults-aged-19-to-64/

[6] Bamber, M. D., & Kraenzle Schneider, J. (2016). Mindfulness-based meditation to decrease stress and anxiety in college students: A narrative synthesis of the research. Educational Research Review, 18, 1–32. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.edurev.2015.12.004

[7] Robinson, O. J., Vytal, K., Cornwell, B. R., & Grillon, C. (2013). The impact of anxiety upon cognition: perspectives from human threat of shock studies. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 7, 203. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2013.00203

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“ADHD is like having a Ferrari engine for a brain with bicycle brakes. Strengthen the brakes, and you have a champion.”

– Edward Hallowell

The ADHD brain races through pieces of information without being able to slow down when it needs to.

Because of how quickly the ADHD brain jumps from one thought to another, it can be challenging to focus on capturing, organizing, and imprinting information. This can lead to memory challenges that interfere with daily life.

Fortunately, you can manage these struggles via lifestyle changes, medications, and various memory improvement techniques. These strategies help your brain pace itself, regulate attention, and remember details more effectively.

If you’re struggling with memory problems, the first step to managing them is determining whether they’re caused by ADHD or another underlying condition.

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Differentiating ADHD from Other Memory Problems

Don’t panic! Understanding your ADHD symptoms will help you find the right workarounds. But definitely talk to your doctor to rule out other medical conditions.

ADHD can also mimic dementia, another condition that affects memory. However, the two can be differentiated by examining present symptoms and when they appeared.

Dementia alters a person’s ability to recall information they used to be able to. For instance, a person with dementia might forget how to carry out daily tasks or navigate a familiar neighborhood.

In contrast, ADHD makes it harder for the brain to imprint new information due to poor focus. So adults with ADHD may misplace items or forget instructions.

Getting assessed if you notice memory issues or a history of them is a good idea since memory symptoms due to ADHD typically start to show up in childhood.^[1]

Learn more about improving your memory and focus with the resources in ADDA+. This community offers resources, courses, and peer support to help you thrive.

How Does ADHD Affect Memory?

If ADHD is the cause of your memory problems, it can lead to the following symptoms:

• Forgetting to do household tasks or chores, like paying bills on time
• Struggling to remember and follow instructions in the right order
• Making careless mistakes and lacking attention to details
• Misplacing important items, such as your wallet or keys
• Trouble remembering special occasions like birthdays
• Struggling to keep track of deadlines

These symptoms are common in ADHD because they impact both the working memory and long-term memory of individuals.

ADHD and Working Memory

Working memory refers to the brain’s storage space for short-term information that allows it to be retrieved quickly and efficiently. This is the small amount of information your brain will hold while you work on a related task or solve a problem.

Research has found that ADHD can negatively impact the working memory of adults with this disorder.^[2]

Working memory is essential for completing daily activities, such as following and remembering instructions, organizing your schedule, or prioritizing activities. ADHDers commonly struggle with these tasks.

Working memory deficits are linked to a lack of focus, hyperactivity, and impulsivity in ADHD. They also affect the individual’s emotional processing and social skills.^[3]

ADHD and Long-Term Memory

Long-term memory doesn’t necessarily refer to information you recall from years ago. Even memories formed an hour ago are part of your long-term memory.

Scientists are still studying the link between ADHD and long-term memory. Current research shows that ADHD may not directly impact your long-term memory.

Instead, it affects your ability to encode information, which is the process of moving information from your short-term or working memory to your long-term memory.^[4]

That’s because the ADHD brain tends to process information in a disorganized manner. This makes it harder for that information to be moved and stored successfully in your long-term memory.

Plus, ADHDers tend to get easily distracted. So, they may not be engaged long enough to have a piece of information moved to their long-term memory.

ADHD and Memory Loss

Memory loss refers to unusual forgetfulness in which a person cannot recall events or information they previously could. This usually affects older adults and those with dementia instead of those with ADHD.

Currently, there’s no substantial evidence that having ADHD will put you at a higher risk of dementia or other conditions that might lead to memory loss.^[5]

The Science Behind the ADHD Brain and Memory

Scientists are still digging deeper into the main reason why ADHD affects memory. So far, studies have found that the memory challenges associated with ADHD are likely due to differences in the activation of various parts of the brain.

ADHDers with impaired memory tend to have reduced activation in specific brain regions, including the cerebellum and prefrontal cortex.^[6]

Lower activity in the brain’s prefrontal cortex can make it more challenging to remember task goals, instructions, or rules. This area of the brain also enables a person to focus on a specific task until it’s complete.^[7] Problems in this brain region can reduce attention, increase distractability, and impact memory.

That said, it’s important to note that memory-linked symptoms don’t reflect intelligence. While ADHD can make learning and memorizing new information harder, there’s no correlation between it and a person’s IQ. People with ADHD have the same potential as anyone else when they figure out what they need to perform at their best.

ADHD and Brain Fog

ADHD may increase forgetfulness by reducing the activation of specific brain regions. Aside from that, it may also be associated with a phenomenon known as brain fog.

ADHD brain fog describes the temporary sluggishness and slowdown of your brain’s thinking abilities.

People with brain fog may experience symptoms such as mental exhaustion, poor focus, carelessness, and forgetfulness.

ADHD may be linked to brain fog and increased forgetfulness in the following ways:

• Dysregulated dopamine pathway: A dysregulation in the pathway of a chemical messenger called dopamine in the brain is associated with symptoms of inattention in ADHD.^[8] Inattention in ADHD can manifest as poor memory, carelessness, and low focus.
• Poor sleep: Sleeping problems are commonly reported among people with ADHD. A lack of quality sleep can, in turn, increase daytime drowsiness, reduce attention, and affect memory and learning.
• ADHD medication side effects: While medications for ADHD are often effective, some people may experience side effects from these medications. Some side effects include poor sleep, low energy levels, and daytime sleepiness.

In most cases, ADHD medications can be an effective way of coping with brain fog and reducing its impact on your memory and learning.

You can tailor your treatment plan based on your response to the medications and whether you experience any side effects.

ADHD Masking: Are You Hiding Your Memory Symptoms?

ADHD masking is trying to appear “regular” or “normal” by suppressing your symptoms. ADHDers with memory issues may try to conceal or compensate for them. They might do so to be accepted socially and fit in better with their peers or colleagues.

For example, an ADHDer who commonly forgets appointments or special occasions with friends and family might say they’re too busy with work or other commitments.

In any case, masking your ADHD memory problems can increase stress and anxiety. Keeping up your image and covering up for any mistakes gets exhausting in the long haul.

Furthermore, masking your ADHD memory challenges delays and prevents you from seeking support or treatment.

Remember that your memory challenges and what others might think of you do not define your intelligence or true capabilities. Your brain simply processes and uses information differently.

By acknowledging any ADHD-linked memory problems, you’re one step closer to getting the treatment and support you need to manage them in an effective and sustainable way.

Strategies for Managing ADHD-Related Memory Issues

There are many ways you can improve your memory with ADHD.

Besides changing your lifestyle and routine, you can also carry out memory training and implement strategies to help you remember information better.

It will take some experimentation to find what works for you. Some ADHDers find that having Post-It notes helps them remember things best. Others notice their memory improves most by getting enough quality sleep at night. While many find the ADDA+ support groups a great way to find out what’s working for other people in your stage of life or career.

Here are some science-backed and practical ways to improve your memory with ADHD.

Memory-Friendly Routine and Lifestyle Changes

Maintaining a healthy mind and body is one of the best ways to sharpen your memory.

Some memory-friendly lifestyle practices that you can start implementing include the following:

• Practice good sleep hygiene: Around 25-50% of ADHDers report sleeping problems.^[9] To improve sleep quality, try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. You can also create a conducive bedroom environment for sleeping by keeping the room cool, dark, and quiet at night.

Setting up a screen-free period an hour before bed and avoiding caffeinated beverages and alcohol too close to bedtime can also help you sleep better at night.

• Get enough exercise: Exercise may improve working memory and attention in those with ADHD. It can also enhance executive function, which refers to the mental processes that allow you to plan, focus, and think flexibly.^[10]

Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise or 75 minutes of higher-intensity exercise per week.

• Stick to a balanced diet: Try to increase your intake of vegetables, fruits, and whole grains and get enough proteins and healthy fats for an ideal ADHD diet. It’s also best to limit your intake of sugary and fatty foods, as well as processed foods and meats.

• Build a stress management routine: Stress can affect memory retrieval. It may also lead to working memory deficits.^[11] You can build a stress management routine involving meditation, yoga, or breathwork.

Taking a jog in nature, running a warm bath, or applying diluted essential oils to your skin are other simple ways to relieve stress.

Changing your lifestyle for the better serves as a multi-pronged sword. Not only will this help to improve your memory, but it may also reduce other symptoms of ADHD and increase your mental alertness and focus.

Memory Improvement Strategies

Certain memory techniques and strategies can help you remember details better in your daily life – including deadlines, pending tasks, appointments, and instructions.

Here are some memory strategies you can implement at work, school, or home:

• Break down complex tasks into smaller bits. Take, for example, a big assignment. You might forget important steps or instructions if you tackle it as a whole. Instead, break it down into smaller goals and list these sub-tasks on a checklist as a guide for you to follow.
• Avoid multitasking. Handling more than one cognitively demanding task at a time increases the chances that you’ll forget something important or make careless mistakes. To reduce multitasking, keep only the items you need on your work desk, close any unrelated tabs, and use an app or notification blocker on your phone.
• Create your own reminders. You can set alarms and reminders on your devices to help you keep track of deadlines and important events. Leaving Post-It notes on areas you frequently look at can also help you remember things better.
• Try habit stacking. If you constantly forget chores, you can stack them on top of something you regularly do. For example, you may put a load of laundry in while brewing your usual cup of coffee.

You can also experiment with different memorization techniques to learn and remember new information more effectively. The following are some examples:

• Using acronyms: For instance, a student might use the acronym “PEMDAS” to represent the order of mathematical operations, which starts with “Parentheses” and ends with “Addition/Subtraction.”
• Using acrostics: An example would be “My Very Excellent Mom Just Served Us Noodles,” where the first letter of each word coincides with the first letter of each planet in order.
• Creating visual connections: You can remember a new person’s name by connecting it with a picture in your head, like a celebrity or a similar-sounding word (e.g., “stove” for a Steve you’ve just met).
• Chunking: Chunking involves breaking down large pieces of information into smaller chunks into different categories based on their similarities. For example, you might break a grocery list down into “food,” “snacks,” and “toiletries.”

While the memory techniques can help you absorb and remember more information, try to avoid overloading your brain with too much at once.

Every person has their limits. And there’s no shame in using note-taking apps, calendars, or phone reminders to help you keep your daily activities on track.

Cognitive Training and Memory Exercises

Research suggests that brain training games can help to improve working memory and executive function in young adults.^[12]

Many brain training apps and books (e.g., Lumosity and Brain Age) involve memorization, pattern recognition, planning, and problem-solving. Other popular brain-training games include Sudoku, crossword puzzles, and Tetris.

Alternatively, you can create your own brain training games like drawing a map or recalling a list of items from memory.

Seeking Support and Professional Guidance

If your ADHD symptoms and memory challenges noticeably impact your work, studies, or relationships, it’s best to seek professional help.

ADHD medications can help to improve attention and other symptoms of ADHD. Research also suggests that it can enhance memory functioning in adults with ADHD.^[13]

You may also benefit from working together with an ADHD coach. This professional can help you build structures and strategies to organize, plan, prioritize, and remember details more effectively.

Stretching Your Memory Capacity With ADHD

Poor memory is an ADHD symptom that’s often not talked about. Despite this, your ADHD memory challenges aren’t any less important to address.

Keep in mind that everyone processes information in different ways. The strategies that help your brain learn, remember, and digest information might not work for another person, and vice versa.

The best ways to expand your memory capabilities are by seeking proper treatment and experimenting with different routines, memory techniques, and lifestyle habits to find what helps you best.

References

[1] Athanasiadou, A., Buitelaar, J. K., Brovedani, P., Chorna, O., Fulceri, F., Guzzetta, A., & Scattoni, M. L. (2019). Early motor signs of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: a systematic review. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-019-01298-5

[2] Schweitzer, J. B., Hanford, R. B., & Medoff, D. R. (2006). Working memory deficits in adults with ADHD: is there evidence for subtype differences? Behavioral and Brain Functions, 2(1), 43. https://doi.org/10.1186/1744-9081-2-43

[3] Al-Saad, M. S. H., Al-Jabri, B., & Almarzouki, A. F. (2021). A Review of Working Memory Training in the Management of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, 15. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2021.686873

[4] Skodzik, T., Holling, H., & Pedersen, A. (2016). Long-Term Memory Performance in Adult ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 21(4), 267–283. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054713510561

[5] Callahan, B. L., Bierstone, D., Stuss, D. T., & Black, S. E. (2017). Adult ADHD: Risk Factor for Dementia or Phenotypic Mimic? Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience, 9, 260. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnagi.2017.00260

[6] Mattfeld, A. T., Whitfield-Gabrieli, S., Biederman, J., Spencer, T., Brown, A., Fried, R., & Gabrieli, J. D. E. (2016). Dissociation of working memory impairments and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in the brain. NeuroImage: Clinical, 10, 274–282. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.nicl.2015.12.003

[7] Fassbender, C., Schweitzer, J. B., Cortes, C. R., Tagamets, M. A., Windsor, T. A., Reeves, G. M., & Gullapalli, R. (2011). Working memory in attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder is characterized by a lack of specialization of brain function. PloS one, 6(11), e27240. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0027240

[8] Volkow, N. D., Wang, G. J., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Newcorn, J. H., Telang, F., Fowler, J. S., Zhu, W., Logan, J., Ma, Y., Pradhan, K., Wong, C., & Swanson, J. M. (2009). Evaluating dopamine reward pathway in ADHD: clinical implications. JAMA, 302(10), 1084–1091. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2009.1308

[9] Wajszilber, D., Santiseban, J. A., & Gruber, R. (2018). Sleep disorders in patients with ADHD: impact and management challenges. Nature and Science of Sleep, 10, 453–480. https://doi.org/10.2147/NSS.S163074

[10] Rassovsky, Y., & Alfassi, T. (2019). Attention Improves During Physical Exercise in Individuals With ADHD. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 2747. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02747

[11] Luethi, M., Meier, B., & Sandi, C. (2009). Stress effects on working memory, explicit memory, and implicit memory for neutral and emotional stimuli in healthy men. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, 2, 5. https://doi.org/10.3389/neuro.08.005.2008

[12] Nouchi, R., Taki, Y., Takeuchi, H., Hashizume, H., Nozawa, T., Kambara, T., Sekiguchi, A., Miyauchi, C. M., Kotozaki, Y., Nouchi, H., & Kawashima, R. (2013). Brain training game boosts executive functions, working memory and processing speed in the young adults: a randomized controlled trial. PloS one, 8(2), e55518. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0055518

[13] Fuermaier, A. B., Tucha, L., Koerts, J., Weisbrod, M., Lange, K. W., Aschenbrenner, S., & Tucha, O. (2017). Effects of methylphenidate on memory functions of adults with ADHD. Applied Neuropsychology. Adult, 24(3), 199–211. https://doi.org/10.1080/23279095.2015.1124108

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Identifying and Managing Your ADHD Triggers

Let’s explore some common triggers that can worsen the symptoms or responses of a person with adult ADHD and how to overcome or limit them.

Recognizing Emotional Triggers

Scientists have found a strong connection between ADHD and emotions. People with ADHD are much more likely to experience emotional dysregulation than those without the disorder. This means that ADHDers often have trouble controlling their feelings and how they act upon them.^[1]  Acknowledging this struggle is the first step to take. Then, you can look into the possible triggers for these intense emotions. You might notice specific situations or interactions that cause you to react – or that minor issues tend to accumulate over time. Some emotional triggers to look out for include relationship conflicts, criticism, rejection, or personal failure. Everyday struggles like misplacing your belongings or forgetting an appointment can also trigger anger, disappointment, or frustration. The following strategies may help you cope with these ADHD triggers:

• Walk away from the situation as soon as you can. It’s also best to give yourself a cooldown period before responding to the person or situation.
• Accept your feelings and validate them instead of bottling them up. You can channel your emotions somewhere safe, like writing a personal diary or doing a voice recording of your experience.
• Remind yourself that the emotion will pass. Find something to do to take your mind off the situation, like calling a friend, going for a bike ride, or reading a book.
• Learn how to recognize what the early stages of overstimulation feel like. This helps you escape the situation as early as possible. If you know you have an important event, meeting, or task coming up – you can determine where your emotions are beforehand.

Lastly, getting medications or ADHD therapy is also an effective way to combat the effects of ADHD triggers on your thoughts and emotional responses. Plus, a professional can help you assess if you’re using unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol, as a crutch for handling negative emotions.

Managing Environmental Triggers

Your environment is either friend or foe. If your surroundings are constantly filled with distractions – focusing and staying motivated will be even more challenging. Try to find out what environment-related triggers worsen your ADHD. Some examples include:

• Distracting noises, like chatter or the sound of a busy street
• Distractions such as your mobile phone and other devices
• A crowded environment with lots of movement
• A cluttered and messy workspace
• Strong and sharp smells or odors
• Harsh and bright lighting

Once you’ve zeroed in on your triggers, you can create strategies to minimize them. Here are some examples of what you can do:

• Organize your work desk and only keep the needed materials and items on it.
• Find a quiet and isolated workspace away from busy streets or crowds.
• Consider investing in noise-canceling earphones or earplugs.
• Limit the time you spend in an overstimulating environment.
• Keep your devices on silent mode or switch off notifications.
• Use an app or website blocker when you’re on your devices.

Try one or two of the above tips to see if they work for you. You’ll need to experiment to see what helps you block out distractions best.

Coping with Academic or Work-Related Triggers

ADHD can make it harder to focus, meet deadlines, and remember important information.^[2]This can affect your performance at work or school. Certain ADHD triggers may worsen these symptoms and further affect your ability to function. Examples of them include:

• Lack of sleep: Studies have linked ADHD and sleeping problems.^[3] Not getting enough sleep can worsen ADHD symptoms and make you irritable or moody. It also affects your thinking skills and focus and can increase procrastination and forgetfulness.
• High-stress situations: People can experience higher perceived stress due to ADHD.^[4] Trying to get too much done in one day and being overloaded with instructions or information can increase stress. Impending deadlines, complex projects, and trouble focusing can also raise stress levels. Additionally, a sudden change in your routine can contribute to your worries.
• Unhealthy lifestyle: Many ADHDers find that poor eating habits, dehydration, and a lack of exercise can aggravate their symptoms, making it harder to focus and get work done.

These tips may help you tackle the above triggers and reduce their impact on your functioning at work or school:

• Practice good sleep hygiene. Stick to a sleep schedule, and keep your bedroom environment cool and dark. If you can’t fall asleep, get out of bed and do something relaxing until you start feeling tired. This helps your brain associate your bed and sleep. Some ADHDers also find that listening to audiobooks helps them fall asleep quicker.
• Plan with visible lists. List all the work, school, and household tasks you need to complete, and keep the list visible. You can update it daily and check things off as you finish them.
• Update your calendar. Add dates to your calendar as soon as you set an appointment, get assigned a deadline, or schedule a hangout. This should help you keep track of all your meetings, due dates, trips, doctor visits, and other important events.
• Be realistic with your daily goals. Pick 1-3 of the most important tasks to complete, and focus on them. You can also use the traffic light system to organize your to-do list. “Red” tasks (most urgent) need to be completed that day, followed by “yellow” tasks, and finally, “green” (least urgent) tasks that can wait.
• Use time management techniques. Time blocking is a method where you divide your time into focused blocks of work. Each time block will be dedicated to one task or a group of similar tasks. The Pomodoro technique can also be helpful. You’ll break your time down into 25 minutes of focused work, followed by a 5-minute break. You can adjust the duration of work and rest based on your preferences.
• Attach healthy habits to your routine tasks. For example, you can exercise while waiting for the laundry to finish or get in a few squats while the water boils for tea. Another example is associating drinking water with a routine habit like checking your phone.

Social Triggers and Interpersonal Relationships

Research shows that people with ADHD have more difficulty maintaining social relationships.^[5] This can lead to conflicts, criticism, feelings of isolation, or loneliness, which may increase stress levels and aggravate symptoms of ADHD. The following are some strategies that can help you handle these social triggers:

• Discuss your chores and responsibilities with your household members, and set routine reminders or alarms to help you remember them.
• Keep a calendar of all the important dates and events you want to attend (e.g., birthdays, anniversaries, hangouts, etc.).
• Participate in a group sport or hobby to make new friends.
• Join an ADHD community or support group for adults.

You may also wish to seek relationship, marriage, or family counseling with a trained professional like a psychologist or ADHD coach. Proper treatment for your ADHD symptoms can also help you better manage your friendships and relationships.

Understanding ADHD Meltdowns

An ADHD meltdown happens when emotions build up to an intense level, causing the person to lose control over their feelings and actions. This can lead to outbursts, screaming, extreme frustration, or even withdrawal. Living with ADHD can be overwhelming. When stress and frustration accumulate, a meltdown may happen. The following tips may help you prevent or handle an ADHD meltdown:

• Give yourself time to cool down before reacting to the situation or resolving the conflict.
• Find a private space or avenue to release your emotions, such as a personal journal.
• Schedule time to rest, pursue your hobbies, and do activities you enjoy.

With practice and self-compassion, you can learn how to better process and manage your emotions. You might also find the techniques in the following section useful.

ADHD Triggers Management Techniques

Incorporating stress management techniques into your daily routine can help reduce its impact on your emotions and actions. Here are some techniques you might find helpful in managing ADHD triggers:

• Mindfulness: Mindfulness training can help reduce symptoms of inattention, impulsivity, and emotional outbursts.^[6] Mindfulness meditation involves paying full attention to your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. To do this, focus on breathing in and out. Acknowledge the thoughts that come, then redirect your focus back to your breathing.
• Breathing: Deep breathing exercises can improve attention and reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol.^[7] Sit in a quiet place and take five or six full breaths over a minute, focusing only on your breathing. Practice this until it becomes a subconscious response to stress.
• Journaling: Keeping a journal of your thoughts, emotions, and struggles can help you process them better. You can also record the activities you’ve accomplished throughout the day to remind yourself of your progress.

Let go of perfectionism as you learn these techniques. Dedicating just 5-10 minutes each day can help you ingrain any of these practices into your lifestyle.

Figuring Out Your ADHD Triggers Takes Time and Patience

Since ADHD affects each person differently, what worsens another person’s symptoms might not have much impact on yours, and vice versa. Take a mental inventory of the different situations you encounter in life and how they affect you. Then, write your triggers down along with practical steps you can take to manage them. With these targeted strategies, you’ll regain control over your symptoms, enabling you to perform your best and accomplish what you put your mind to. You don’t have to figure out life with ADHD alone. ADDA+ is a resource hub that offers plenty of expert-backed information, courses, and webinars to equip you for daily life.

References

[1] Beheshti, A., Chavanon, M. L., & Christiansen, H. (2020). Emotion dysregulation in adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analysis. BMC psychiatry, 20(1), 120. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-2442-7

[2] Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. DSM-5 Changes: Implications for Child Serious Emotional Disturbance [Internet]. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2016 Jun. Table 7, DSM-IV to DSM-5 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Comparison. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/

[3] Stickley, A., Shirama, A., Inagawa, T., Ruchkin, V., Koposov, R., Isaksson, J., Inoue, Y., & Sumiyoshi, T. (2022). Attention–deficit/hyperactivity disorder symptoms, perceived stress, and suicidal ideation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.1008290

[4] Surman, C. B. H., & Walsh, D. M. (2021). Managing Sleep in Adults with ADHD: From Science to Pragmatic Approaches. Brain sciences, 11(10), 1361. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci11101361

[5] Moyá, J., Stringaris, A. K., Asherson, P., Sandberg, S., & Taylor, E. (2014). The impact of persisting hyperactivity on social relationships: a community-based, controlled 20-year follow-up study. Journal of Attention Disorders, 18(1), 52–60. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054712436876

[6] Modesto-Lowe, V., Farahmand, P., Chaplin, M., & Sarro, L. (2015). Does mindfulness meditation improve attention in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder? World journal of psychiatry, 5(4), 397–403. https://doi.org/10.5498/wjp.v5.i4.397

[7] Ma, X., Yue, Z. Q., Gong, Z. Q., Zhang, H., Duan, N. Y., Shi, Y. T., Wei, G. X., & Li, Y. F. (2017). The Effect of Diaphragmatic Breathing on Attention, Negative Affect and Stress in Healthy Adults. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 874. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00874

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School Struggles

Detours

Never Give Up

It’s Better to Know

Winning a Long Race

The post The Proof is In the Pudding appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

I was incapable of planning ahead. I was very impulsive. I also had a very short fuse. My temper was especially dangerous. I was small and skinny, only 5 feet tall in high school. I started many fights, but I never won any of them.

I didn’t fit in. I was always disappointed in myself. I often felt I was watching my things happens, as if I was watching myself in a play.

It wasn’t until my senior year in college that I began to learn how to study. I worked full-time on second shift and attended school in the morning. I learned to study when I could instead of only last minute when I had to.

I finished my degree, and started a Master’s program. I attended full-time but switched to part-time to finish. I still battled issues with planning, time management, and managing my finances. I couldn’t save money. I also battled with constant anxiety. I felt I was a fraud getting away with something. I knew I was different, and someone would catch and expose me. I was always afraid to celebrate any achievement because I never felt I deserved it.

During my Master’s, I got married. A partner with ADHD presents unique challenges, especially with communication. But it also gives you accountability. I have learned to outline my plans for the day to her, in part to set my own goals each day.

I began to meditate, and I trained as a mediator. These helped with my anger and automatic hostile responses. But I attribute much of my improved ADHD to vigorous regular bicycle riding – 50 to 100 miles per week.

Within the first five years of our marriage, we had two sons. As the boys grew, it became clear they both had ADHD like their parents. Each son’s ADHD had a unique presentation. The oldest was a “typical” ADHD child. Very expressive and outgoing. He had difficulty sitting still or studying. He often agitated his brother and others to provoke a response. My youngest son, what we now know is ADHD – Inattentive Type, was a distracted dreamer.

The boys did acceptable but not stellar work through elementary and middle school. I remember many comments about the oldest child needing to apply himself.

In middle school, my oldest son’s issues became very plain. He tested as gifted but was could not complete assigned work on time. The school insisted he was lazy and needed to apply himself.  We spent many school nights at the dining room table helping him focus on his assignments.

Since the school was unwilling to test him, we sought a psychologist to work with him along with my wife and myself.

On one occasion, I found myself alone with the psychologist. I commented that my research on ADHD made me suspect I too might have ADHD. She laughed. She said there was no question I was ADHD. It was only a question of the severity.

I became a voracious researcher on ADHD. During my search, I found ADDA. I attended an ADDA Conference in Washington, DC and I learned so much.

I appreciated ADDA’s approach. You could manage ADHD. You didn’t need to drug it into submission. This fit into the philosophy that my wife and I had adopted with ourselves and our children. We had never wanted to use drugs to “get rid of ADHD.”

ADHD presents both issues and opportunities. Yes, it can make it difficult to fit into a neurotypical world. We may struggle with the occasional episode of depression and anxiety as a result. But it also enhances creativity and gives us a unique worldview.

At ADDA, I learned wasn’t alone in the world with my condition. There were others like me, and I could be myself. I am grateful to ADDA for their education, information, and community. It has made a huge difference for our entire family, but for me most of all.

I chose to give back by volunteering with ADDA. I took on various roles during my years volunteering with ADDA.

I have retired from ADDA as a volunteer, but I am still an active ADDA member. I take part in the Retirees Virtual Peer Support Group.

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In a moment…it’s gone. The fully-formed sentence sprung from nowhere, a perfect start to a story that might unfold over hundreds of pages. By the time I found my pen, all that remained was a faint memory.

This is the downside of ADHD…falling in love with ideas, images, sounds, smells, and half-formed thoughts several times within one minute.

My thoughts are almost within reach, then slip somewhere I can’t access. As one thought slides away, it’s replaced by one, two or even three more, without order or sequence. The unease lingers.

As a self-employed adult woman recently diagnosed with ADHD, I consider myself moderately successful. I’ve started taking medication, which enables me to reach previously unknown levels of self-awareness.

Medication has given me a fresh perspective. There’s no prescribed way to live or think; it all depends on whom you ask.

The difficulties with ADHD come when you feel and act wildly out-of-step with the majority of society and can’t keep pace.

Originally published on July 13, 2016, this post was republished on November 03, 2022.

What’s It like to Have ADHD (for me):

I can relate to the impulsivity of the Road Runner cartoon. When the wolf runs off the cliff’s edge, his legs cycle rapidly while suspended mid-air. It’s only when he looks down and realizes the enormity of his situation that he plummets down the canyon.

I’ve always empathized with him. Propelling myself forward, and never looking back or down, probably saves me from descending permanently into my own canyon.

Having ADHD, energy, resourcefulness, and optimism fuel me, but mental chaos can overwhelm me, and I grind to a halt. Staring into space, dulled and unable to move without huge effort, the desire for order becomes as overwhelming as it is hopelessly unattainable.

It can last a few minutes, or occasionally all day. I really wouldn’t want it hanging around longer, as the more prolonged times reveal a bleaker view of life.

At least I can explain this now, after a lifetime of inarticulate thought. In the past, I’d try to rationalize what was happening, but if it didn’t make sense to me, what could I say?

I’d always assumed I was terrible at living a normal life. Teachers said, “Only boring people get bored.” They said a lot of other things which confirmed our suspicions I was rebellious, sweet, but slightly simple, and hopelessly forgetful.

I was eventually invited to leave school. The Girl Guides had extended the same invitation a couple of years prior. Friends say, “Remember when…?” I nod, but I don’t really remember.

Everything moves too fast. It’s one reason why I fidget. Trying hard to remember or prevent something which is slipping away is taxing.

I’d like to focus, hold some memories, and have the chance to reflect. These are the big things, although not without drawbacks.

Everyone has elements of their past they’d rather forget, but when you’ve never really learned from your mistakes, a glimpse in the rearview mirror at the mangled wreckage of destructive relationships, dreadful job experiences, and reckless choices can be shocking.

I’ll shift my viewpoint now to say ADHD can be fantastic. Every day offers endless possibilities. Life without self-imposed limits means freedom to go anywhere and speak to anyone.

It’s not so much fearlessness, as simply not considering possible consequences before plunging in.

I’m constantly amazed by what I find out and humbled by what people want to share. I’m trusted, probably because I’m non-threatening. Surrendering yourself, unwittingly or otherwise, to living in the moment attracts people who want to join in.

The irony is I’ve always been shy, so attracting strangers creates a tension that I struggle to overcome. It’s like having an all-access pass for life; it’s a gift you’re not sure you want.

On Relationships with Others:

Friendships are easily formed, and the tenacious ones survive. Constantly forgetting birthdays, meetings, and dinners takes its toll.

I always answer my texts, but often only in my head. It can lead people to think I don’t care about them or am shallow, selfish, and unfeeling. It’s an understandable impression, but couldn’t be further from the truth.

“I forgot” is met with instructions to get a diary (planner), set alerts on my phone, or find another way to get organised. After all, everyone forgets, so you can, too. You just have to focus, plan ahead, and generally get a grip.

How can you tell them you’ve lost your third diary (planner), and it’s only April? Your replacement phone is also gone and you thought today was Tuesday instead of Thursday.

Getting any kind of grip on the stuff sliding in and out of my head is quite tricky. So, to the people I’ve let down, I’d like to say, “It’s not you. It really is me.”

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this” has been screamed at me more times than I could obviously hope to remember. The last time was halfway up a mountainside, sheltering in a pine forest from driving rain. It probably wasn’t the moment to confess that my car keys seemed to have gone.

Everything would be ok, and if we just retraced the last 10 miles, we’d definitely find them. I did find them, inside the unlocked car, so everything worked out well.

To that particular friend, I’d like to say that you always complain about wanting more exercise and, as I pointed out at the time, human skin is waterproof, so can we please move on?

I get blamed for quite a lot. When you’re the forgetful, accident-prone one, it comes with the territory. It can’t always be your fault, and small doses of support and understanding go a long way with those of us who think and operate a bit differently in the world.

I’m good at adventures and spontaneous decisions. I’m open to anything because I have few defenses. Although I generally believe what I’m told, which has got me into trouble.

Keeping secrets comes easily, but hiding my own is hard. I’m a magnet for children and animals and try to cherish and look after everyone around me.

Visitors are well-fed and listened to. I’m known for giving good, at times unorthodox, advice and cocooning those in need of understanding.

The problem comes when transferring this care to myself, or recognizing when I should ask for help. I’m not invincible, but the irrational, hopeful side still can’t quite shake the belief that I just might be.

Why not? I’ve been tremendously lucky so far.

On Seeking Treatment and Disclosing My Diagnosis:

I could continue living in the moment without planning ahead. Forgetting most of it, then starting over the next day.

It’s often great, but I’m tired of reacting and acting impulsively, searching for new ways to keep boredom at bay. I’m weary of losing track of time, thoughts, and people.

I want to build something solid that I can keep going back to. Seeing each day as a clean slate has got me this far, and it’s fascinating, if chaotic.

Endless curiosity feeds the cycle, but it’s all so temporary. I want to pick up where I left off.

These are the reasons why I wanted treatment. A bit of control over my rapid impulses, combined with the chance to focus and untangle the constant, shifting thoughts, has shown it to be the right decision for me.

I’ve told three of my closest friends about the diagnosis, and no one has been surprised, despite having the good grace to pretend otherwise. It seems each one suspected something wasn’t quite ‘right’ at times.

Realizing I’ve been quietly understood and cared for over the years is touching but also difficult to accept – especially as I like to believe I’m invincible.

My abrupt disappearances are par for the course, and those who know me well no longer expect an explanation. Instead, they gently inquire and don’t take it personally.

Like my diary (planner) and phone, I misplace my loved ones sometimes. They’ve all said they need me to stay the way I am, for the adventures and sheer living in the moment thing. Although I’ve always hidden the worst of it from them by retreating.

I’ve reassured them I wouldn’t take medication. It’s dishonest, but I didn’t want them to start preparing to miss the old me. What if I become unrecognizable, stunned into submission by a chemical taser?

The great news is they haven’t noticed anything different, although I have. I’m more focused, and my energy levels are now steady.

I no longer feel the sudden need to run down the street — something that can be alarming to other pedestrians, especially when you’re a grown woman in high heels. (It looks like you’re being chased.)

The sudden development of a verbal filter is a welcome relief after years of unintentionally insulting people who ask for an opinion. It turns out diplomacy doesn’t mean lying.

It’s more choosing words carefully that don’t eviscerate friends, family, or complete strangers. “But you asked me” isn’t a reasonable defense after all, especially for the many times they didn’t ask.

Sleeping well in bed is a new treat. Funnily enough, for me, slipping into unconsciousness in cinemas, theatres, and on all forms of public transport was never a problem.

Most welcome of all the improvements is my memory. I’m forgetting less and thinking more clearly.

I’ll always be a more flawed, impulsive wolf than a perfect, predictable roadrunner, but that’s okay now.

Recently I was gripped by a sudden fear that controlling my symptoms would mean the saturated technicolour that life can be would drain into a perfectly pleasant, slightly dull, black and white. Like a rainy-day film without much pace or plot.

Fortunately, finding a balance between the extremes of falling in love with everything, or disconnecting completely, leaves scope.

Depending on when in the day you ask, I might say that ADHD has been a constant, invasive shadow, falling across every aspect of my life.

Ask me again, and I might say it’s been a brilliantly illuminating shaft of sunlight, throwing everything it hits into stark relief. It can be blinding, but more often reveals the perfect, glorious detail that might have been missed.

Life is enhanced, elevated, and made rather lovely. It depends on your perspective. Who wouldn’t want a little bit of that?

ADDA+ offers a supportive community of like-minded adults, working on the same problems you are. Join us today and unlock a wealth of resources – webinars, courses, virtual support groups, and more!

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By Leigh Pennington, MPH

In the 3rd grade, my son was struggling to read. He was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia and was receiving extra help from his teachers at school. He worked hard but was discouraged and his self-esteem was being affected. One afternoon, my son stopped playing and came to find me to inform me of this “big decision.”

Does Anything Hurt More Than Your Child’s Pain?

I was standing at the stove making dinner when he said “Mommy, I am just not gonna be able to learn to read and I decided that’s ok.” My heart broke for him. My sweet, intelligent, boy had given up.

I struggled for the words to say to him at that moment. I kept my tears at bay long enough to give him the pep talk of his life. And I didn’t hold back on the cliches either. I told him my own story of failure and regret, having struggled all through school and failing college three times. I failed college because my ADHD was undiagnosed until I was 32. And I used myself as an example of what not to do.

What Would you Do to Be Your Child’s Inspiration?

When I finished up my little speech, he looked at me with the biggest, most hopeful smile I have ever seen. He said “Mommy, now that you know what you SHOULD do, you can go back to college too!”

I remember thinking, “Oh crap!” I had tied all his future success or failure directly to my own. If I wanted him to succeed, I had to lead by example. I pondered this predicament for a few weeks and made a decision that forever changed my life, and his.

We Can Do This… Together

My son and I made a pact. He was going learn to read, and I was going back to college. A few weeks later, I started college classes for the 4th time in my life. I was terrified. When I walked through the door, I felt like an imposter. I knew I wouldn’t pass my classes. My son would see my failure and give up. After all, I was incapable of learning, right?

For the first few semesters, I spent so much time in the math tutoring lab, I was mistaken for staff. I had to take two math courses to catch up before I could take my required math course. As the first semester ended, I realized I had earned an A in every class. I couldn’t accept I was doing so well. I told myself they must be taking it easy on me. After a year and a half at the Technical College, I decided to apply at Marshall University.

Momentum is a Powerful Force

I enrolled in the Marshall Health Science program and maintained a 4.0 GPA throughout the program. Because they averaged in my GPA from my three previous failures, I graduated with a 3.26 GPA. Walking across the graduation stage in front of thousands of people, including my father, felt like a dream. It only took me about a week to figure out I wasn’t finished.

I decided to enroll in the Master of Public Health program, also at Marshall University. During the last year of my master’s degree, I finally realized I had accomplished something, not because someone took it easy on me, not because anyone helped me, but because I was intelligent and capable enough to do it. I am proud to say I graduated at age 39 at the top of my class from my master’s program with a 4.0 GPA. It felt incredible!

Pride and Inspiration

Even more incredible is what my son has accomplished. By fifth grade, my son was reading at his grade level and his comprehension was evaluated to be at the 7th grade level. He has struggled so much but has refused to fail and is now a Freshman in High School. This year he finished with his highest GPA yet and he is already making plans for college.

The pride I felt as I graduated is nothing compared to the pride I feel seeing him succeed. He did the work and he caught up all on his own, but I know that my successes helped encourage him along the way and that is an amazing feeling. He and my daughter, who is eight, are so inspiring to me. Watching them set goals and reach them is something I will never grow tired of. They amaze me every day.

You Only Recognize Life-Changing Moments Looking Back

I think about that moment in the kitchen with my son and I am so grateful he came to me. I am so grateful I had the right words to say at the time, but mostly I am so grateful I had the courage to overcome my fear of failure to take that first step into college.

We don’t need fear to make safe choices. We can be safe by being mindful and using wisdom, gleaned from our experiences, or learned from someone else’s. Save your fear for black bears and snakes. Fear binds us to a fate not of our choosing. It robs us of our possibilities and deprives the world of everything we could contribute. Fear does not bless your life in any way, it can only take away from you. Failure can make you strong. Failure can help you learn and be a foundation for future success.

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According to Neil DiGrasse Tyson, heir to Carl Sagan, and Cosmos colleagues (along with numerous other astrophysicist geniuses), if we were to condense the history of the universe into one year, referred to as the “Cosmic Calendar” – where the Big Bang took place January 1 at midnight, and the current moment is midnight, December 31 – most everything we study and talk about in human history would have occurred in the last second of December’s last day.  On that scale, the longest human life would pass in the blink of an eye, about one quarter of one second.

We’re Just Getting Started

Think about it. Be blown away by both the majesty and the insignificance of your existence.

Our lives are at once minuscule and incredibly powerful. Our minds even more so, for they experience the world and help us understand the limits by which we are bound.

Understanding that our minds and lives are simultaneously microscopic and infinitely expansive, subject to biology yet also incomprehensibly dynamic, we begin to see that our perception is malleable and powerful. Our experiences, the thoughts we have every day, are just a tiny part of existence yet they can also feel like everything.  One second can fly by, or it can feel like such a long, long time; it can feel like forever.

Our lives become what we make them. What beautiful, terrifying freedom we have.

This makes me wonder about how I spend my energy every day, in the midst of such an awe-inspiring existence. In the true spirit of ADHD, this in turn makes me wonder about the power of the stories of failure that often come with challenges and how much space those stories take up if allowed to grow roots. It’s amazing, and scary, that something so seemingly inconsequential as a thought or story about ourselves can turn into the way we see our entire history, or the world.

It’s About What You Think and Believe

Our thoughts and beliefs may not always be up to us, but they always matter. Have you ever wondered how something as amorphous as a thought can provoke an all-day (or life-long!) string of negative, unhelpful beliefs and uncomfortable feelings?

One thought or feeling can harken others, gathering a constellation of ideas, becoming an accepted wisdom, joined in a diatribe of self-deprecation or, on the other hand, a celebration of worth and possibility.

Though it may not always feel like it, you choose what you focus on and where you put your feet every day. If you have ADHD, you may feel you need help maintaining consistency in those choices. Brains generally don’t like to remain still; add ADHD and you have a ping-pong machine of cognition. It’s important to maintain perspective. Remember, a thought is just a thought, or you can allow one second to become your entire universe.

That’s My Story and I’m Sticking To It (For Better or Worse!)

If we allow it, one thought, mistake, feeling, interaction, or memory can become as large as the outward expanses of the cosmos. One thought can become your reality, even though it may not be accurate or helpful.

Recall that we once believed our planet, the history of human life and a few thousand years were all that ever existed. We were wrong. With a life of perceived shortcomings and failures, it is easy to create a story of not being good enough or not living up to expectations. As true as those stories can feel, they are just as wrong as the theory of a flat earth.

The one thing that has absolute power to disrupt any progress you make is the story you tell yourself about it. If you repeatedly play a tape that tells a story of failure, loss, inferiority or incapability, then these feelings will become self-fulfilling prophecies that stay long after symptoms abate. It is important to honor and learn from the past, but that is not where change happens.

Change happens now. Now is the only place every good thing worth imagining can begin growing so that when you look back upon your life you will know you did not waste your time talking yourself out of being great. You will know that one thought, one belief, one diagnosis is not all there is to you, no more than this little blue planet or human history is all there is to the Universe.

You Are More Than Your ADHD

You are more than your bad days. You are more than your symptoms.  When you examine the origins of the universe, as Neil DiGrasse Tyson explains, you are literally made of stardust. Since you get to choose what you believe in, believe in that. It will propel you further than self-doubt ever could. One person’s belief in their ideas or abilities can change the course of everything. Whenever you feel unsure, watch an episode of Cosmos, and remember.

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There is power in your journey.  Your life, your adventures along the road, how you cope, how you succeed, even how you fail but pick yourself up again… those are the elements that make up your journey, and that journey is your story.  Rick Green, one of the amazing keynote speakers at the Conference taught us about The Power of Story.  The way you tell your story can and will change people’s lives.  It can change your life, and it can reach out and change the lives of others, giving them hope and courage and joy.

The Power of Story – Don’t Underestimate It

Imagine a conversation with a friend sharing the experience of driving your daughter to college this summer.  You could just report the facts, “Saturday, I helped my daughter pack and drove her to college.  It was hard, but I’ll see her at Christmas time.”

That’s fine, it’ll work.  But when you tie in the “why” and “how,” it makes all the difference in the world.

Imagine if, instead you shared, “I knew I had to help Jenna pack for her big move to college 5 states away.  God I wasn’t ready for that.  I cancelled my weekend plans to focus on helping her pack… I had to cancel my chemo appointment, I haven’t even told her about THAT yet.  I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the news knowing it would completely overwhelm the experience we were about to have; I’d dreamt of this moment since she was little.  We spent the entire weekend sorting, going through her photos, folding and packing the handmade quilt I made while she struggled in 9^th grade.  I remember that time because it was right after her ADHD diagnosis.  She and I worked together on that quilt, it was the only thing that seemed to give her relief from her anxiety – time stood still.  We found an old essay she’d written and lost about how she would never be accepted to this University because she wasn’t smart like everyone else.  So many of the things we came across sparked conversations we’ve never had before.  I can see now that she is leaving a mature woman – and I can’t wait to see her at Christmas break!”

Recently, at a support group meeting I hold monthly for adults with ADHD, I shared a simple but important story about my son.  Tears were shed because of the way I shared it – it resonated with many members as women, as mothers.  It connected us.

In the power of a story lies that personal connection – which is what life is all about.  The facts are great, essential even, but if you can share them in a way that people will remember and so that they listen long enough for you to get to the good part, they become invested – that’s power through story.  That real human connection beats “social” media, impersonal email and the express drive-through coffee chats about the weather and the latest TV show we have with our friends, hoping to connect but falling short.

Be the One to Inspire Others

Be encouraged and hopeful as you navigate these sometimes tumultuous waters of ADHD and how it manifests in the multitude of ways in all areas of our lives.  Yes, it’s important to carefully judge how much we tell about our circumstances, and to think twice about who we share them with – stigma is alive and well.  But connecting through story made all the difference one afternoon in a meeting between my husband, my son, his counselor and me.

We met because all hope was lost.  My son wasn’t passing 10^th grade.  We’d already been on this rollercoaster with my 18 year old.  And although my adopted daughter is only 7, she is right on track to keep me on this ride, which for the record, I didn’t stand in line for!  I went from hopeless to helplessly hopeless, if that’s possible.  I made a last attempt and reminded her that he deals daily with ADHD and ODD.  She heard me, but she didn’t hear me.

I knew she cared deeply for my son, but genuinely expressed disappointment and perplexity in his lack of effort.  He wasn’t trying hard enough. “You did the work, just hand it in!”

A moment of clarity came to me once I realized nothing had been resolved – at all!  I noticed that the counselor kept saying that when she’d see him on the video in the hallways between classes, he seemed so depressed.  She was concerned.

Yes, he was depressed.  We were working on fine-tuning his medication and he was failing High School.  Of course, he’s depressed.  But she never mentioned any of his other qualities – what I see at home; his brilliance in song writing, his ability to produce a track from scratch in his bedroom of “Something” from the Beatles.  Just three nights prior, he let me hear his song, his voice – I’d never heard him sing before.  Before we ended the meeting – that went nowhere, I asked her if she would give me 3 minutes, that’s all I needed.

I pressed PLAY.

I looked away so the attention would be on what we were hearing, but first glanced at my son’s face, which was beaming with pride.

In my head, I kept whispering, “Wait for it.  Wait for it!”

The song was over, I looked at his counselor; she’d been looking at him the whole time.

She was discrete, but I KNEW IT!  She saw what I saw.  She was wiping tear after tear from her cheeks. “Evan, you are amazing.  That was unexpected.  Wow!”

What transpired was the revealing of the other parts of him she didn’t understand, didn’t know.  I offered her the power of his story.  I advocated for my son, as any mother would, but in pursuing his passion, he advocated for himself.  He created his story.  He chose positive things to spend his time on.  I acknowledged him by celebrating that.  Yes, ADHD is complex and very difficult to work through, but often you don’t get to see the other parts.  They matter too!  We are different – not less.

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I’ve completely changed the way I view the world and myself. Two years ago, before I started Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT) school, I went to a psychiatrist. I felt there was something off about me. I knew how I was going to do in school, because the pattern was always the same. I would do great in the beginning of the semester but “lose motivation” mid-through the semester. Towards the end of the semester, I would panic and grind to pass the class. For the longest time, I considered myself a B+ student. This was so predictable, I assumed it was part of my character.

I hated how it felt. I didn’t know why I couldn’t stay motivated for long enough to finish a course as well as I started. What made everything even worse was that I knew I had good discipline. I had always disciplined myself in my workouts at the gym.

Growing up, people would describe me as lazy, unmotivated, and uncaring. They often accused me of making dumb or risky decisions. I felt like an outcast. I never fit in.

I never understood the labels people assigned me. I never understood how doing most of a task but forgetting one detail made me lazy. I never understood how they could say I was unmotivated when I was able to work out and pass all my classes. How was I uncaring when I truly apologized and was the “bigger person?”

I thought about everything in extremes. I didn’t understand how you could need structure in your life when everything in life is chaos. I didn’t understand how to have fun without risking my life (I was just trying to feel something, anything. Thankfully, I don’t feel like this anymore because of ongoing therapy and medication.) I didn’t understand how you can love someone but also be mad at them.

I also dealt with constant overthinking and rumination. Anytime someone said anything to me, I had entire conversations in my head with them explaining my point of view.

I told my psychiatrist I had issues focusing. She probed, wanting to know more, and I said, “I think I’m depressed.” I told her how I would lose motivation and how it made me feel. I told her how COVID got me down and how I felt I had no purpose. But when she asked me what I thought was the main issue, I told her being unable to focus was the primary problem. Though I said I was depressed, I didn’t think depression was the issue (ADHD/ADD is highly correlated with depression and anxiety.) I thought it was normal to feel this way – everyone feels “depressed.”

With me, it was the constant thoughts and internal conversations I would have about depression. I kept thinking how I didn’t like my life. Then I would get sadder because I felt I was being ungrateful. I would tell myself there’s no reason to be depressed but for some reason I just felt that way. It was a constant cycle.

I felt funny about taking medication until recently, when it finally clicked, ADHD/ADD is legit. The whole time I was on my medications, I felt like a fraud. I thought, “I’m only taking medication so I can sit and pay attention.” But that’s the exact reason I take them! Having a brain that doesn’t overthink everything and every interaction I have with anyone is blissful. Being able to see the whole without hyper-focusing on one random point is nice.

My relationships with my family, friends, and even strangers have gotten better because I understand my condition.

RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) had a huge impact on my life. I took a lot of benign things personally. I created my impression of a person based on one interaction (that I had overthought into something horrible). I forgot all the good they had ever done because of something as trivial as them being late to meet with me. Of course, I would keep these thoughts to myself, and because this was going on in my head but was unspoken, you could feel the tension build between us.

It’s been two years since I reached out for help. I’m happy to say that without help, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Before I was just a sad/anxious kid trying to please everyone except myself. Now it’s just me trying to live my best life. Before, I believed I was living my best life because I was trying to make the people I care about happy.

I honestly don’t know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t reached out. If you need help, reach out and get help. You’re not alone.

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The past few weeks I’ve been feeling blue and discouraged. I haven’t been able to get rid of thoughts of “You’ve always failed because of your impulsive and other ADHD behavior.” Every day this past week I saw evidence I was once again going to fail. It wasn’t until I was talking with my ADHD coach in a small group that she pointed out, “Bruce, wasn’t it one year ago in February that you were struggling with whether or not you wanted to continue working or retire?”

What! Really? Wait… that is true! One year ago, February 2021, I was faced with the grim possibility that I may lose yet another in a long list of many jobs I had either chosen to leave or I was asked to leave. Having a race car mind and bicycle brakes, (Hallowell, Ratey 2021), why was I so surprised that being in racetrack work environments often and generally led to poor outcomes? The long hours, and literally unlimited number of daily decisions, triggered overly emotional reactions with co-workers and poor decision making.

Ultimately, in April of 2021, I decided not to renew my professional licenses as an RN and Family Practice Provider, knowing that to continue the long hours, and complex daily decisions was robbing me of my very soul and essence as a human being. My blood pressure was high, my weight was 20 pounds too much, my anxiety was out of control, and the stress was affecting my relationship at home.

Now, one year later, I am redefining my life. Making choices of how to spend my time is challenging. Most of the cold calls I make for sales don’t answer or the answer is “No.” My coaching business is brand new, but there is a lack of qualified coaches, so more clients will show up soon. Being the househusband, doing the shopping, cooking, and caring for our house is challenging. Sometimes I wonder which adventure I will work on today. Life is full of surprises every day. Of note, I generally schedule time to exercise, meditate, fish, and spend time with friends. This is very different from the stress of one year ago.

As my wife tells me, “It’s good to have the real Bruce back.”

Bruce Eastman offers coaching for middle age – older adults struggling with Attention deficit symptoms. Zoom meeting available world wide. Visit his Facebook page to learn more.

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I always struggled with social interactions and focus, but I wanted to belong. In the seventh grade, when I was finally getting my social life together, my parents received a letter saying that I’d fail and repeat if I didn’t get my grades up. The thought of being in class with kids a year younger — back then, a one-year difference may as well have been 10 — was too humiliating to bear. I asked my parents for seven folders and notebooks, pens and pencils, and studied like my life depended on it. I passed — and the habit kept me on the honor roll. However, that cycle of failing and then kicking into gear would repeat every time my environment changed.

Finally, in law school, I saw a psychiatrist, was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD, and was treated for 14 years. Then I heard someone talking about ADHD and something clicked. I told my psychiatrist. She looked at me and said, “You are an attorney, you’re too together to have ADHD.”

I thought to myself, “TOGETHER? Are you kidding?” I had to read books on body language to learn social cues. I brought it up repeatedly until she finally looked up from her notepad and said, I can test you for it, but it will take a while and your insurance won’t cover it. After a battery of tests, I walked into her office and she told me to sit down — never something you want to hear from a doctor. She said, “How did we miss this?” She told me that I scored an 8.4 on the combined metrics for ADHD. 8.4 out of 10 sounds serious, I said. Her response was concise. 8.4 out of 9. My eyes got big, and I asked, well, is it fatal? She laughed. I had ADHD… big time.

Once I started treatment, the strangest thing happened: my anxiety dropped by 80% and I was able to control my impulsivity. I was 40 years old — what opportunities had I missed? To complicate things, the medication helped abate my symptoms but I still didn’t know how to schedule my time. I learned how the brain works, about executive functions, and I also realized that my anxiety and occasional depression weren’t anxiety and depression in the clinical sense, but were tied to undiagnosed ADHD.

I have also found a compliment to my ADHD. While I’ve always struggled with social interaction, it never occurred that I could be on the spectrum as well. I always refused to acknowledge this due to stigma: all I knew about ASD were the stereotypes, severe cases like non-verbal behavior. While I never got a clinical diagnosis, I took two medically suggested diagnostic tests, and the circle now seems closed. ADHD and ASD working in tandem explains all of my idiosyncrasies, while their genetic factor explains my family experience growing up.

It’s turning out to be a very long journey, but I am the most confident I’ve ever been about who I am, and how I see the world and other people.

My mission now is to help rid society of the stigma, and help provide a pathway for people to be the best versions of themselves — not just get by with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, hyper-consumerism, and all the other ills that plague my community.

Michael David, ADDA Member

The post Stigma, the Ultimate Comorbidity. The Story Behind My Story appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

Utilities are especially pernicious, because when they get cut off, everything stops. A few years ago, I was struggling on many fronts, working long hours, barely sleeping, barely staying connected to family and friends. I was overwhelmed, falling behind on basic life upkeep.

So I’d often forget to pay my utilities, and my electricity would get turned off every other month. I’d pay the $100 reconnect fee and the past-due balance, then swear it would never happen again. And because I traveled a lot for work, when the power got turned off, the food in my fridge would often go bad by the time I returned home.

Things got so bad that every day when I’d come home from work, I’d wonder if this was the day that the power got turned off. So I’d unlock my door, take a deep breath, flip the light switch and keep my fingers crossed.

Through this ritual, I convinced myself that I was terrible at adulting and would never improve.

Eventually, things came to a head, as they always do. I got sick and ended up in the hospital. It forced me to slow down and get help, which came from many fronts: therapy, ADDA, and a better meds strategy.

Getting help also helped me work through my shame issues. One of the things I did to deal with ADHD and shame was to build better systems, like putting all my utilities on autopay. This simple solution took enormous stress off me. More importantly, because of the help I received through ADDA, I found a coach and began addressing the root causes of my burnout and job loss struggles.

ADDA helped me go from shame to systems. That’s why I’m sharing my story, to help ADDA get the money they need to keep their own lights on, and help thousands of people like me to rewrite their own stories.

No more spoiled food or ruined futures. That’s the life-saving work of ADDA. Please join ADDA today, and please, give what you can.

Anonymous, ADDA Volunteer

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My answer to the first is usually surprising to folks. While project management does require an inordinate level of executive functioning, what’s under-appreciated is how it can also align with, and leverage, neurodiversity.

Like many people with ADHD, I have a co-morbid diagnosis, which is obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). In my case, the two diagnoses come together and create natural skill sets and interests in designing, building and managing projects and programs. The planning aspects of project management feed my OCD, while the complexity of the work lets me constantly shift my attention to endless combinations of tasks, while still working on a single project.

Having ADHD and other co-morbidities is less about what I can’t do, and more about utilizing my neurodiversity to reach my goals and be my best self.

I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was an older adult with almost grown children, at a time when I was having difficulty managing constant overwhelm. The diagnosis caused me to reflect back on my childhood: I probably always had ADHD. My ability to hyper-focus on topics of interest allowed me to excel in school, and as I matured and began working, I established processes for critical functions as a means of survival. The sense of overwhelm that prompted me to seek help was just symptomatic of how the manifestations of ADHD change as life becomes more complex.

At this point in my life, it has become much easier to manage both my ADHD and OCD with medication. I can honestly say that without the gift of ADHD and the lessons I’ve learned as a neurodiverse woman of color, life would not be as fulfilling as it certainly is at this point in my life.

With your gift to ADDA, ADDA can provide the support, skills and other crucial tools that will help others see their ADHD the way I do — and rewrite their stories to ones of equal richness and joy.

Please join ADDA. Please give what you can. We need your support and your voice.

Lorri Jenkins, ADDA Member

The post The double-diagnosis that keeps me single-minded. The Story Behind My Story appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

Like a canceled family vacation.

Many years ago, I was driving, too fast as usual. I was speeding, my coping mechanism for watching the road instead of the scenery.

I got pulled over by the police.

Then it started. The officer discovered that my registration was expired: I’d forgotten to renew it several months earlier. This, too, is no surprise to any adult with ADHD.

But this was the week before our family’s summer vacation, visiting family in a different province and camping along the way. The children were excited to see their cousins, and my wife Linda and I were looking forward to the change of scenery.

But the cost of the speeding ticket, the ticket for the unregistered vehicle, and the car registration drained our vacation fund. Vacation was canceled. The children were devastated. It was just one more thing that was my fault.

People with ADHD are often poor drivers. It can be difficult to focus on the road as distractions pass on either side, so we deal with it by driving fast. The rush of adrenaline helps us focus, and it also helps overcome our poor time management skills, as we’re always late for something.

Before I was diagnosed with ADHD and treated, I wrote off four vehicles. I also repeatedly placed my family and friends in danger, not to mention myself.

Since my diagnosis, I never drive unmedicated. And I’ve learned to give myself plenty of time to get there safely and on time.

Approximately 5% of adults have ADHD. About 85% are not officially diagnosed with ADHD.

ADDA can steer those people off the wrong roads, the ones that are going nowhere good. But we need your help: your membership, your donations, your time, and your sharing of our messages.

No one should have to cancel a family vacation because of ADHD. Or have something far worse happen. That’s no story any of us want to hear. We’ve heard too many.

You can help ADDA rewrite them. Please join. Please give.

Duane Gordon, ADDA President

The post The ticket i’ll never stop paying for. The story behind my story appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

There I was, 32 years old, broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage.

But I have a Harvard degree! What happened?

Maybe I should have seen this coming

In retrospect, the warning signs were everywhere. In third grade, my teacher gave me an award for “Best at Getting Around Doing Work.”

In high school, my family called me “Cliff’s Notes Aron” because I never made it through a single book to the end.

My behavior was seen as youthful disobedience since I still pulled off good grades.

On the inside, it was nothing like that.

It’s different on the inside

I longed to be able to sit down like my friends and write an essay before the eleventh hour. I envied the people who took meticulous notes. I dreamed of being able to study for a test over time instead of just cramming the night before.

But in the end, I got into Harvard. “Success!”, right?

No, my nightmare was just starting

At Harvard, I lost all the support systems that got me through high school. My parents, my friend group, and the structure of high school.

Hating college, I dropped out two times.

I only graduated due to the persistence of my family, fiancée, and Harvard.

Since I graduated from Harvard, “Success” now, right?

Six failed jobs and businesses later, I can say “no.”

So, there I was, 32, broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage.

Climbing out of the rubble

Motivated by the sheer terror of my new life situation, I started to rebuild my life and career.

But shortly after my 34th birthday, history began to repeat itself.

Three months into my new job, my boss told me I was underperforming. I talked a big game, but my actions didn’t back them up.

On the verge of yet another failed job, I panicked.

How my life changed

I had met some friends recently who talked openly about their ADHD.

ADHD never occurred to me as something I have, but then, I would not have thought these friends had it.

After my boss said I was down to my last straw, I went and saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me.

How could I have ADHD?

The psychiatrist said it’s uncommon to see my level of academic success with ADHD. I explained all the workarounds that helped me achieve it. (My smart friends invited me to study with them; I leveraged Cliff’s Notes heavily; My natural intelligence fit well with high school tests.)

I explained the attention, focus, and procrastination issues I’ve had throughout life and their role in my latest failures.

He said that my non-hyperactive ADHD plus my natural intelligence and clever workarounds kept my disorder “under the radar.”

So, at 34, I had my diagnosis.

My life trajectory was forever changed

With treatment, for the first time in my life, I could sit down and work when I wanted to.

I couldn’t believe it!

Instead of having my employment threatened, I was starting to get good performance ratings.

In total, I racked up 4 promotions in a 6-year period. My current job is as a senior manager at a Fortune 500 company.

I also met an amazing woman and we got married at the start of quarantine over zoom.

We ADHDers are not lazy, unmotivated, or broken

I learned a lot these past seven years, recovering from my low point at 32.

I discovered we ADHDers are not lazy, unmotivated, or broken. We just have a different brain and “the most treatable disorder in psychiatry,” according to Dr. Russell Barkley.

I’m Aron Croft. I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADD — and my life changed! I created Hidden ADD to raise awareness about non-hyperactive ADHD, which is often “hidden” from view. I share the ADHD strategies I used to go from broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage to a career and life I love. My message to you is that things really can get better.

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Right now, there is a fire in my belly! Yes, I’m fired up around the conversations that aim to address change. The war cry is #Blacklivesmatter diversity now! But the fire in my belly is twofold. I am glad to finally be seen and taken seriously. But, is that what’s really happening? Every company I’ve ever done business with is contacting me to pledge their allegiance. It’s throwing my ADHD into a spam mail anxiety spiral. I feel like a guest star on the Twilight Zone (minus the Rod Serling plug.) Am I on trend only until George Floyd becomes another name added to the lengthy list of Black and brutalized bodies? Will everyone cash out on this wave and return to business as usual? Will Breonna Taylor ever become a household name? Will black folks be left holding the bag yet again?

My stomach is in knots.  I don’t want to go back on the shelf… way in the back, until another controversy erupts. I’m so uneasy, because we’ve been here before. It’s like a painfully funny sitcom that’s moved to late night reruns. “Woke” isn’t the new Black. Black people are Black. The disparities and atrocities we experience are very real. Post Ahmaud Aubery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Tony McDade and countless names you will never hear, we would like to think we have arrived to a fairer and more equitable world. But we’re not there yet. Yes, there’s an onslaught of diversity initiatives. This is a temporary answer to a pervasive issue. It’s time to call it. Diversity is dead!

As fellow ADHDers, we can’t push the agenda of neurodiversity; not without shining a light on how privilege and systems work to humanize some and dehumanize others. We can’t make space for learning and functional differences while we fail to make space for/accommodate different identities. And while we are at it… Who exactly gets to ADHD anyway? Countless Black lives have been taken while engaging in the simplest yet perfectly human activities of daily living. Being an ADHDer in my world feels unsafe. Race is a construct. Being human is not.

Neurodiversity, differences in sociability, learning and attention, does not live in a vacuum. To ignore our experiences and identities is to deny neurodiversity. You can’t say you support neurodiversity while withholding equitable resources. We can’t advocate for those who live and think differently while selectively acknowledging the above. “Diversity” implies having a great mix of folks with different backgrounds to source from to ensure that “everyone” is represented. That isn’t enough. Although diversity is great for corporations and institutions (it makes them money), it doesn’t do much to value people on a personal level. It also certainly doesn’t provide them with tools for success.

Who does diversity benefit? You can diversify your organization, but that does not imply a shift in power, resources or structural change. Diversity paired with inclusion has often led to Black bodies being tokenized and reduced to figurehead leadership. A widely known quote in the African American Community sums it up beautifully, “They want our rhythm but not our blues.” This speaks to the global reach of Black culture, and “Blacktivism”/social justice models, and representation; but this doesn’t translate to valuing, respecting and compensating Black people around innovation and contributions.

Having a Black friend “on deck” is the hot ticket this week, but what does that mean for us with regard to long lasting change? (If you think that was hard to hear, imagine how it feels to be living it.) We have to push beyond virtue signaling and educating others on why Black Lives Matter. Education and sympathy alone won’t end racism.

Equity is giving everyone the support they need to be successful. Equality is treating everyone the same. We are not the same, and that is wonderfully ok! Equality can only work if everyone starts from the same place and needs the same resources. In this cyclical mad rush to be diverse and inclusive; we must reflect on how systems that lack equity protect, serve and elevate harmful practices. When we only uphold diversity and inclusion, we are often blind to the gate keeping and power held by those doing the including.

We all must be mindful of co-opting struggle and idealizing quick-fix solutions while ensuring ways to facilitate deep conversations that promote lasting change and accountability. Just because everyone is included doesn’t mean all voices are heard. Diversity and inclusion optics without equity disempower, quiet and erase the very voices they were intended to support.

Do we want to show just how good and fair we are? Or do we want to dismantle unjust and unfair systems. It’s time to truly commit to equity and value Black lives beyond sentiment. It’s time for right allyship to move way beyond intention to assertive application. We all have a long way to go as we continue to navigate this pandemic, heal our collective traumas and work to repair and reform fractured systems that have left us all wondering… What’s next? Your move…

Romanza McAllister, LCSW is a Psychotherapist/ADHD Coach & Race Equity Advocate. Located in Brooklyn, N.Y., where she works with Adults centered on Racial Identity, Codependency and acceptance of their ADHD diagnosis. Romanza also leads ADDA’s African American/Black Diaspora +ADHD Peer Support Group, and contributes articles like this one and Catch-22: ADHD, Work, & the “Black Tax”.

The post Diversity Is Dead: Freestyle Thoughts on Neurodiversity, Black Life, Reconciliation and the Commodification of “Wokeness” appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

As a young girl, my mother told me being born Black meant I had to be exceptional. I had to be three times as good to receive a fraction of what my white colleagues would get. I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder at age ten. Despite my challenges with ADHD, “Be the best because nothing comes easy to black folks in America” remained my mother’s mantra.

“Why do Black people always feel the need to be excellent?” complained the character Slim of the impactful Drama/Movie Queen & Slim. “Why can’t we just be ourselves?” Slim says to Queen, on his date gone wrong; as she proudly proclaims to be an excellent lawyer as opposed to just a good one. Queen is an example that being anything less than “exceptional” is costly in the Black American experience. Slim’s character shows us this way of life strips us our right to be vulnerable and most importantly human. This burden and battle cry is very familiar to African Americans and Blacks in America. Many Americans would argue that affirmative action has cured the above, but life looks very different on the other side.

My Black experience, and the experience of those who look like me, is to be second guessed, or dismissed for opportunities. Alongside widespread stereotypes and structural racism, this creates “The Black Tax”. African American/Blacks more so, and many people of color, pay an “emotional tax” in the work place. We navigate an emotional rollercoaster guarding against racial bias. We often lack support from supervisors. We experience microaggressions and flat out discrimination at times compounded by bias around gender identity, sexual orientation, religious affiliation and class.

Over time, this daily battle takes a heavy toll and can affect health, well-being, and the ability to thrive at work. At work, I defended myself against back handed compliments and I braced for insults presented as constructive criticism. I made certain to avoid triggering social interactions. When I saw this unfold in job after job, I chose to speak out against mistreatment knowing they’d label me the “Angry Black Woman.”

I had to choose one set of mental health challenges over the other. ADHD had to once again take a backseat as my humanity came first. I knew disclosure of my diagnosis was not an option. Telling my bosses about my ADHD would only lend itself to ugly historical stereotypes of African Americans as incompetent, problematic, and lazy. Back then, the answer was clear. Hide. I continued to struggle silently in plain sight, suffering through long days of waning attention, unmet deadlines, careless mistakes, and mountains of unfinished paperwork.

I decided to pick up the pieces on my own; as I had been instructed do time and time again. This distorted but truthful message was reinforced through the lived experiences of my elders as well through many ineffective/unequal policies to address disadvantages in the black community. It played like a scratched CD (pun intended) “Black people do not have time, or space to grieve and dwell, we simply have to move on.”

I couldn’t risk making mistakes, in the workplace where I was often one of two minorities.  The Catch-22: Speak out on injustice and risk my job, or disclose my ADHD and risk my job. “Decisions, decisions.” We all know ADHD often impacts your access to gainful employment and advancement in pay. Professing my ADHD diagnosis was a luxury I as a black woman couldn’t afford.

I was tired of hiding my symptoms. I was tired too of being dismissed by family, friends, and well-meaning clinicians. I searched for support to mitigate shame, racial trauma, depression and burn-out. After trying a few support groups and meeting several clinicians, I stumbled upon the Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s virtual peer support groups. Joining ADDA has been so validating and affirming. There is a certain indescribable beauty in feeling seen and represented. In the end, I chose to nurture the best parts of my ADHD, and I now work for myself. But everyone’s path will be very different.

Since then I’ve gone on to become the group facilitator for the African American/Black Diaspora+ ADHD Virtual Peer Support Group. I am able to further address specific racial, gendered, and cultural needs, while extending that healing, unity and community to others. It feels good to be present in a safe space where we can all remove “The Mask” and find effective ways to heal from, and push back on the effects of the “Black Tax”. We are reinforcing our resilience and self-advocacy while having the hard, meaningful conversations about ADHD and blackness. This support group and “mental health cook-out” as I like to call it, has been integral to my self-care practice.

Our group is growing stronger in numbers, and support for one another to show up and be seen. Some members have seen improvements at work due to advocating for accommodations. Some are still being supported in navigating the very complicated dance of telling their truth. Through all our adaptability to adversity we have displayed resilience and determination. Be that as it may, we just need a space to simply be “ADHDers” having a very human experience while practicing progress over perfection.

Romanza McAllister, LCSW is a Brooklyn, New York-based psychotherapist and ADHD Coach, and serves as a Board Member with the Attention Deficit Disorder Association. For more information, visit: http://mcallisterpsychotherapy.com/

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My name is Laura and I have ADHD. I’m a chaotic mess of underestimated brilliance. My ADHD allows me to think outside the box. It helps me troubleshoot the impossible. It lets me act on impulse and land opportunities most miss. And it lets me rise again when I’ve fallen so far, I’ve forgotten there is a sky with stars above.

I’m thrilled I’ve found my tribe, you of beautiful chaos and endless possibilities. and my shoulder to cry on. You are my tribe, my people, my brothers and sisters… my validation.

The ancestral tradition of telling stories lets us make meaningful connections with people. Telling stories. Of how you won. Of how you lost. Of how you struggled and how you overcame. These stories open the stage for transparency and trust. We in the ADHD tribe face many of the same demons and have many of the same fears. We also share many of the same strengths, the same amazing gifts that make us the “Top Guns” in this world. I am a passionate advocate for those with disabilities. It makes my heart happy to see the underdog win, overcome and give back to keep their story alive. Those are the stories that give us all hope.

Everything I know about advocating for myself, I learned from a 10-year-old. I do psycho-educational testing to diagnose learning and intellectual disabilities. I also identify executive function deficits. Doing this work for 23 years, I should know a thing or two about advocating for myself! But no, it took a 10-year-old to open my eyes and trigger events that would change my life.

Willie was 10 in the fifth grade. He was receiving special services for his ADHD. I picked him up from his class, walked him to my office and we sat. He was a skinny little guy with dirty blonde hair. He wore a camo t-shirt, jeans and leather work boots. He was an outdoor kind of kid.

He was quiet, fidgety but looking confident. I gave him my spiel, “Willie, the reason I pulled you out of class today is to…” Willie stops me in mid-sentence. Willie says, “I know why you pulled me out. You pulled me out because I have an ADHD brain.” I asked him to tell me more about his ADHD brain.

A little professor, Willie stated, “Well, my brain is different. I think differently than other people. My teacher gets mad at me because she thinks I’m lazy, but I’m not lazy. It takes me a little longer to understand and to focus. Things like too much noise from students’ talking or bright lights make me not pay attention.

Other kids pick on me because I’m different. One boy yells in my ear because he knows noise bothers me. I push him away when he does that. The teacher sees me and gets mad. She doesn’t see the other boy yelling in my ear. It makes me mad because my teacher thinks I’m lazy and that I push kids around. But I’m not lazy. And I’m not pushing kids around. I’m just different.

I felt a moment of clarity. It was as if a great light beamed into MY ADHD brain and screamed, “Wake up!” I said, “Willie, I test high school kids and not one of them has ever been able to tell me how their ADHD brain works. I am so proud of you! Let me tell you a secret. I have an ADHD brain too and noise and light drive me crazy!” We high fived, got to work and finished in record time.

When I walked him back to class, his teacher asked me how he did. When I told her he did an awesome job she asked, “How did you get him to work? I didn’t think you’d get anything out of him”.

I said, “Oh, we think alike.”

I was new to the district and still learning the ropes. When I started, I told my employer I needed a space. I needed a place where I could organize my files and test kits. I needed a “home” for my system for task completion.

My “office” was a conference room where other people had meetings three days each week. On those days I had to pack my files, test kits and tasks. I loaded it all into my car for the drive to another campus. There, I searched for another office only to be kicked out of each one as well. I ended up working in the corner of the lunch room.

Trying to work, I would find I needed the one file I left behind. After an unproductive day, I would go home, only to work until midnight on the most critical tasks. By then, my Adderall had worn off and my executive functions were asleep. You can imagine what Willie’s report looked like.

My boss called me in to talk. On her desk was Willie’s report, marked in red with comments in the margins. Once she completed her list of ‘how you suck,’ she said,” Given your experience, I am very disappointed.

I sat for a moment to process. It was my birthday. My first thought was “I’m 49. This has to be the worst birthday of my life.” I felt numb. Then I thought of Willie. I could see him advocating for himself. I heard him explaining how his ADHD brain worked. My heart broke because I had failed him. All these thoughts happened in milliseconds, my ADHD brain sparking, sorting, analyzing, processing.

I looked up at my boss. I dusted off the shame and said, “Thank you.” I told her, “I’m the problem here. I told you I needed an office. But I didn’t say it loud enough for you to hear me. I didn’t advocate for myself in a way that would make you understand how it would affect my performance. It fell on deaf ears. It’s my fault. I take full ownership of that.”

Now here is the twist. I had known this situation was not going to end well. I had started looking for other opportunities before I met Willie. I’d already had an interview and received an offer. I said, “Actually, I’m glad you called me in. I wanted to talk to you about an amazing opportunity I’m taking.” The look on her face was my best birthday gift ever!

I took the new position. I communicated my needs to my new boss. I now have my very own little office working with individuals who are willing to hear me.

I made a commitment that day. I would learn to speak the words to be heard. I looked for a place I could accept and embrace my ADHD as Willie had. My search led me to ADDA. Because of Willie I’m home. I’ve found my tribe.

The post Everything I Know About Self-Advocacy, I Learned from Willie appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

We know planners are part of the solution. But many of us have complicated histories with planning and organizing systems. A few hardy souls are willing to give it another try. They often ask, with a weary but faint glimmer of hope in their eyes, “What’s the best planner to use?”

My answer: “The one you actually use.”

I love helping people find, create, or blend systems to fit their brain wiring, work-flow and life.

I’m an unapologetic enthusiast of planners and all things office supplies. I’ve tested untold numbers of paper planners, apps, journals, calendars, mind maps, Post-Its, trackers and digital systems.

I was on the search for the Holy Grail of planning systems. This will wrangle my wild ideas, grand plans, mundane tasks, appointments, long-range projects, random musings, contact information, and must-do NOWS into a manageable life. A life where things get done and projects move ahead. And since I’m imagining, I want time for the fun and connection with others that makes for a life worth living. (No small pressure and expectation for a planner!)

I’ve also partnered with clients, all with different brains and demands. All on their quest for the Holy Grail of organizers. I’ve got a broad perspective of what works (and doesn’t) for different people.

Here’s a hard truth. There is no magic ADHD planner or system to fit all wonderful brains in this world.

A surprising truth? For me, and for many of my clients who gravitate to paper planners, the Planner Pad comes pretty darn close.

The Planner Pad offers many ADHD-friendly features. And it’s flexible. Intrigued? Let’s examine the Planner Pad through an ADHD lens:

1. Seeing the Forest AND the Trees

Does your ADHD brain focus on the big picture? Or on the nitty-gritty details? Either way, the Planner Pad has you covered.

The Planner Pad has a unique funnel-down planning system. It keeps mid-range plans and daily tasks in view. And you can carry over tasks you didn’t get to as needed.

You can keep tabs on “Urgent” and “Important, Not Urgent” tasks so nothing slips through the cracks.

Here’s How the Funnel Works

Each week displays on a double-page spread divided into three sections, top to bottom.

Imagine an inverted triangle. The top level (Categories) is a place for your weekly list of activities in categories that make sense to you. Examples: Home Projects, Work Project A, Work Project B, Family, Personal.

Put tasks from Categories in the middle level (Daily Things-To-Do). Then assign them to days of the week.

The bottom level (Appointments) is where you write daily appointments and time-bound tasks.

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ADHD “Watch-Fors” with the Funnel: 

• It’s common to overestimate what we can get done in a week, or a day.

If you have used “One Thing” or “Big Three” strategies, keep applying that to the “Daily Things To-Do.” Resist the temptation to fill all the space.

It feels uncomfortable. But I promise, unless they are deadline items, you can carry tasks in your Category lists to the next week.

• Many people struggle with days broken into hours. I too prefer 30-minute increments. But I’m not willing to tote a poster-sized planner! I learned keep daily tasks in the middle section. I appreciated having them there. It was better than crowding my days with fixed appointments and ever-changing tasks.
• IF your day is full of 15- or 20-minute appointments, this may not be the system for you.
• Benefit: I’ve watched people develop a new relationship with time. I’ve seen them develop realistic expectations of what they can do in a day. It’s kinda cool. And Planner Pad is the catalyst. It doesn’t happen overnight. But there is a calm and peace that comes with that, and it’s beautiful to witness.

Real-life applications:

I have a client who plans his week ahead on Friday afternoons.

He starts with Categories at the top. He carries over anything from the previous week. He adds in new tasks. Then he jumps down to the bottom section. He blocks in fixed-time commitments: appointments, meetings, events and time blocks he sets aside for work on Project A and B.

Once he marks the appointments in, he can see which days have space for daily tasks from the categories. Finally, he fills in priority items from the category lists on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday into the Daily Things-To-Do section. He deliberately leaves Thursday and Friday open. He knows unexpected things come up in the week. (Hello, surprise visit from Head Office!) This leaves space to adjust.

Client – Exhausted, using the Planner Pad helped her see she committed more time than she had in a day, week, month. She couldn’t argue that time was infinite any longer. With this clarity, she began to wrap up projects. And she did not say yes to new ones. Over months, she began to free up time and energy. Now she had energy to spend on things that mattered to her. She could spend time with her family and reconnect to her love of photography.

2. Ooooh! Shiny!

The Planner Pad’s funnel system is their claim to fame. And there’s good reason. But that’s not all, folks! More features help manage big picture/long-range plans. And even handle those smaller, random ideas you don’t want to lose them. Perfect for our novelty-seeking brains!

• A year on a double-page spread (3 years ahead)
• A month-at-a-glance
• A full Notes page at the end of each month
• Several Goals/Projects pages at the back, broken down by days of the week
• Space each week to note expanses and notes or calls.

ADHD Watch-Fors with the many features of the Planner Pad:

• Notice if you tend to approach new planners with All-or-Nothing thinking. In the past, have you spent hours setting up a new planning system, only to have no interest or energy to ever use it?

There is no need to use all the bells and whistles in order for the Planner Pad to be functional.

A colleague trying out the Planner Pad shared: “It’s so simple, amazing, and logical. I can’t believe it’s not more common as a system!”

• Benefit: Explore the different features of the Planner Pad a little at a time. It’ll stay shiny (and interesting to your ADHD brain) longer.

Real-life applications:

• When I was new to the Planner Pad, my challenge was to get used to having a place to write mid-range plans, a to-do list and a daily schedule in ONE PLACE.

Other planning tools made me juggle pads of paper, Post-Its and calendars. It was unsettling not to scribble “don’t forget to” lists on a random notepad. I still did for a while. Until I got in the habit of writing (and looking for) larger project tasks and daily to-do’s in the Planner Pad. Now, I love the reliability of knowing where I wrote things.

• I’ve changed how I use it over the years. And I’m happy to say Planner Pad is flexible enough to grow with me as my business and life evolves.
• Clients often start using the Planner Pad for the funnel system. It takes time to adjust how they use it to fit their needs. After they’ve gotten comfortable with feature, they start adding in other ones.
• I still use my digital calendar on my phone and computer. I need the reminders and notifications for appointments and meetings. Reminder apps are handy for urgent tasks such as returning phone calls or emails you MUST do today.
• One client loves big-picture thinking and artistic layouts. She starts new projects with colorful mind-maps of her ideas on paper, as she brainstorms possibilities. When she’s ready to act, she turns to her Planner Pad. Then she enters the Weekly Lists of Categories into the funnel system.
• Another client relied on lists scattered around his home and work to guide his daily actions. He started using his Planner Pad Weekly Lists of Categories for brain dumps. He saw his to-do’s as a big wall of tasks he needed to do. He admitted it was overwhelming to see it all in one place at first. But in a couple of weeks, categories started taking shape. Soon, he felt less overwhelmed and more in control of his days. He gained clarity about priority items. And he knew what could wait until another day. That clarity also made it easier to act. There were fewer tasks competing for his attention.

3. Get Your Planner Pad Today

How to Buy a Planner Pad

Visit the Planner Pad website today. If you have questions about ordering your Planner Pad for the first time or your refills, they have a comprehensive FAQ available.

Planning how you’ll use your resources (your time, your attention and your energy) is an ADHD-best practice. But it’s also something we all learn wrong. We don’t learn the ADHD-friendly way of planning — traditional “time management” doesn’t work for adults with ADHD. If you’re new to planning and you’d like some help, ADDA members, check when the next Planning Your Year 4-week workshop series is running. It’s included in your membership!

What do you think?

I’d love to hear your feedback on the Planner Pad. Share your comments below.

If you’d like to understand more about adult ADHD, ADDA+ offers 200+ webinars, peer support groups, work groups, and much more.

Anne Marie Nantais is an ADHD coach helping adults live their best lives – as they define it. Diagnosed in adulthood, Anne Marie understands, and works with clients to help them find personalized and unique solutions to their ADHD obstacles, using their strengths to create the energy and ease they crave in their lives. 

The post This Is MY Holy Grail of Planning Systems. Could It Be Yours? appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

I often have a very difficult time doing crucially important things: mailing out a bill that is going to be late or calling a client who is expecting to hear from me.  Some days I can do everything pretty well, but other days I just seem paralyzed.  I find countless distractions and kick myself even as I’m doing them.  It’s like I don’t have any control over what I’m doing.  There is a separation between the will and the intellect.  A disconnect between actions and consequences.  Even if the action is simple and the consequence is dire, the connection just doesn’t get made.  It’s extremely frustrating!

I’ve made dealing with my ADHD traits a life mission.  In some areas I feel tremendous progress, in others, none.  Perhaps pruning the non-ADHD friendly elements from my life and making new ADHD-friendly connections with people is most important from an emotional health perspective.  Perhaps managing to do my work so I can pay my bills is most important from a practical perspective.

I believe there are core ADHD traits such as lack of impulse control, poor sustained focus, the need to seek intensity, etc. You know the list.

But, then there are a whole host of secondary issues that arise out of a life-long attempt to fit into a non-ADHD friendly world.  These are the insidious soul crushing issues of an undiagnosed life.  The insecurity that comes from being punished for simply being who you are, year after year.  The self-doubt that comes from failures that don’t make sense.  The self-hatred that comes from internalizing the character assassinating judgments encountered at virtually every childhood turn.

What I’ve learned is this:  Our childhood instincts to rebel against authority were in essence correct and possibly vital for the survival of the core self.  As a late diagnosed ADHD adult, I’ve found that peeling back the layers of debris is crucial.  It’s a liberating feeling to peer beneath and find myself largely still intact.  That’s the wonderful feeling of relief that many of us feel upon proper diagnosis … an explanation that rings true.  Working through the layers of debris, though, that’s another matter.  Grief finds it way to the surface bringing vivid memories of shame, traumatic turning points and failed dreams.  The shadows of self that remain seem pathetic and unworthy.  Later, quite a bit later, a sense of acceptance begins to fill in the resultant gaping  fissures in our psyches and a healing begins to take effect.   Forgiveness comes. Self talk becomes kinder. Hope pushes back darkness.

Through it all, we must find the emotional strength to deal with relentless core traits which have always influenced our lives and will for life.

I believe it is self-awareness and connections with people that give us the direction and strength to make substantive change.

Richard Webster, the author of this article, is the CEO of Rena-Fi, Inc., a financial literacy platform.  ADDA has partnered with Rena-Fi to bring the benefits of financial education to its membership. Rena-Fi empowers and inspires students to develop a better financial future. Learn more at Rena-Fi.com and check out our other articles about managing your finances here.

The post A Different Perspective appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was around seven years old and put on medication but only for about a week.

This was over forty years ago, so I don’t have a clear memory of it. My parents told me that I became a different person, much too quiet and reserved, and after this very short experiment, they decided that medication was not for me and ADHD was never really mentioned again.

I have battled all my life to focus on things that I did not find exciting or enjoyable – so of course, I was labeled lazy. There were a few exceptions where I could become hyper-focused. Usually, if it was something that really piqued my interest.

So, my academic results were either right at the top of the class or way off. (Mostly way off because I was lazy!) This was my school and university experience.

I was able to knuckle down briefly when it was either do or fail, but it was a major effort. I would sit at my desk with good intentions and find myself unable to do anything – bored out of my mind and in a state of mental paralysis.

These were the days before smartphones and social media, so if you weren’t working, there really wasn’t much else to do other than stare out the window, thinking of anything and everything other than studying.

This was me every exam time and, frankly, the narrative for my life story. It became me in the workplace too.

I Didn’t Know ADHD Was Ruining My Life

My ADHD, untreated, had caused problems throughout my life. I didn’t realize that ADHD was actually a big part of why I struggled so much at work – why I felt like a failure – why I felt like a lazy underachiever.

I could interact and contribute and seemingly get by, but I was operating at what felt like 40% capacity. I felt like I was a failure, getting by, by the seat of my pants, feeling like a cheat.

I think my strengths grew incredibly stronger by having to compensate for my weakness. I only felt worse about myself and that I was wasting my life. I had been given all these talents and was burying them in the ground.

I spent almost two decades working in a role that I loved and hated at the same time. It really required a high degree of focus which I was not able to give. I don’t know how I lasted as long as I did.

Funnily enough, during that time, I had a number of coaches who tested me for several personality traits and with whom I was very open and honest about my feelings and struggles. Not one of them suggested ADHD!!

Not one of them.

My son (17) and daughter (21) have both been diagnosed with ADHD and are managing their lives with the help of medication. Even this didn’t really trigger me into action or help me to make the connection.

For me, it was more of a throw-away line in a conversation, “I’m probably ADHD, Ha Ha!!”

It took me leaving my job, after coming to the conclusion at the age of forty-seven, that there was more to life than working just for the money.

My Eureka Moment

My son’s doctor had recommended a book to my wife, “4Weeks to an Organized Life with AD/HD” by Jeffrey Freed and Joan Shapiro.

I started reading this book and couldn’t put it down. Halfway through, it hit me like a ton of bricks. “OMG! This is me! This is my life. This is exactly what I have been struggling with for as long as I can remember.”

It made sense of so many things. I always thought ADHD was just an inability to focus and concentrate and that my behavior was due to boredom and laziness.

It was my Eureka moment.

I felt equal parts relief, regret, and excitement. Funnily enough (or perhaps not), it still took me a while to get to a doctor to get a final diagnosis and begin the journey of acceptance, management, and hope for the future.

I’m still in the early days of being diagnosed, but I already feel much more positive about the future and about myself. I’m taking medication as needed and find that it makes a huge difference.

I know there are lots of other strategies and tools that I can employ to help me on my journey.

Being a new member of ADDA is one of them.

It feels like I have so many bad habits to break, but I am only at the beginning of my journey.

Bring it on!!

If you’d like to join a supportive and inclusive community of people who understand what you’re going through, check out ADDA+.

The post Staring Me in the Face for Forty-Nine Years! appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

I left “the nest” late in life when I got married at 36! I set very high standards for prospective mates and in doing so I passed on many now successful men who loved me.  Luckily, and thanks to God, I found my husband and am now the mother of two boys, the younger of which has ADHD.

My husband was desperately trying to understand my crazy schedules, impulsiveness, forgetfulness, disorder, lack of attention to kids and some hoarding. He sought help by researching my behaviors on the internet and gave me an ultimatum to get help with my problems.

I was diagnosed Adult ADD with OCD, depression and anxiety. I always knew there was something off with me, like a devil holding me back and possessing all my will. As a young woman, I suggested to other psychiatrists that I may have ADD but they said, “Oh, no, you always pay attention to me and are a great student.” Even now another doctor I saw says it may be something physical like “mild” brain damage.

However, the name ADHD is misleading because the problem is really about execution. No matter what it’s called it can make people around us frustrated and angry. They can’t understand something they can’t see.  I feel helpless sometimes when I see people with physical disabilities and think that’s me on the inside but nobody can see it. I always have the accelerator pushed to max speed and the hand brake on at the same time.

I recently had the flu and slept for days. I didn’t take my meds and felt better… except I wanted to fight with everybody.  Even little things like McDonald’s opening a few minutes late will set me off and I may cause a scene.

A few days ago, my father told me emotionally and in the last few years financially, I never left the nest. I have ruined many things in the last three years. He said, “Your so-called ADT-DTA–whatever you call it is just an excuse not to take responsibility.” He reminded me he had a horrible life and never used it as an excuse.  Although I often heard him talking about wanting to die or being aggressive to us. My mother always asked us to be understanding as he had a very sad childhood and youth.  He was thrown out of the house several times and his family didn’t even have money for his school books. We had everything, though we were great students and got scholarships as well. I even went through college with an 80% scholarship based on merit and worked to pay the difference.

Maybe I got so tired I just gave up. I felt horrible about forgetting to buy my son’s books and I even forgot to go to a science fair at his school.

Guilt is always a good companion and close friend of shame. It is difficult not to speak out and many people see that as a lack of personal strength and control. So how do I leave the emotional nest when the voice inside me has always been so muffled by inner noise, shame, confusion, imagination and compensating behavior?

They say ADHD is not a reason for lack of accountability but that we need to be more accountable by adding mechanisms to get things done and experience the satisfaction of our successes.

Sometimes I feel I am clueless but I have made myself a set of instructions that helps me as an adult with ADD. Looking back if I had left the nest earlier this list would have been very helpful. Remember I mostly live in theory and don’t follow these to the letter but that is what I can offer and I hope it can help someone.

1. Have a code of crucial things never to be broken (regardless of how I feel). If it is not in the to-do or to-go list, don’t improvise.
2. As it is difficult to read people, and ADHD people tend to be naive, avoid sexual encounters at an early age. You need to be more prudent than non-ADD people. I was lucky to live in a conservative environment and have many religious rules. It would have been devastating to lose control of that and feel used. Although this is not an area of life which defines people.
3. Be very conservative in finance. Save a lot and get a sense of security and order from it.
4. Write down or speak to yourself (as your inner voice needs a microphone), and avoid sharing to much with too many, as we tend to do so.
5. Listen to yourself and try to be truthful to your convictions, dreams and illusions. Those are real and strong, even when you feel disconnected from them, and want to find some clues through other people.
6. Take advice seriously. While you don’t want to be brain-washed, many things people say are pure wisdom and need to be carefully analyzed. As an ADD person, you may lose valuable stuff if you disregard it, or get into trouble if you act on in without taking time to think.
7. Stay on your meds. If it works stick to it. When you feel moderately OK you tend to forget how meds helped.
8. People may want to innocently sabotage your treatment. Don’t let them. Especially if you live alone or are in a new situation, you should avoid fluctuations… Don´t “save” on this.
9. Keep active in sports and something you enjoy.
10. Share in the ADDA and other websites. You may help others and also clarify your thoughts and feelings.

The post It’s So Hard to Leave the Nest appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

My name is Tracey. I am 50 years old. I have ADHD.

Getting to where I could say that wasn’t an easy journey. I want to share the story of how I finally got that ADHD diagnosis. I was only diagnosed recently, and you would think that it took so long because it wasn’t obvious that I had ADHD. But no. On my recent testing, I scored 9 out of a possible 9!

In my family, everyone said that I wasn’t even out of the womb and I was already running. That has been my explanation to others for fifty years why I do everything faster than the normal person. I’ve always had ADHD, of course. But I only recently diagnosed myself by filling out an online self-assessment. I had been searching online, looking for a name for my behaviour because I’d had enough of the long running jokes.

After my friends saying I had ADHD for years, out of curiosity, I finally took the test. I scored 96 per cent! Armed with this information, I visited my doctor. I demanded he refer me to see what would be my fourth therapist. This time, I swore I was not going to let him tell me I was fine. If we did not do something, I did not know what would happen. I felt I was dying. At least mentally.

My new therapist gave me the official test where I scored 9 out of 9 again. I am now taking medication, and I continue to see the doctor monthly. The medication has raised my blood pressure, which has the doctor concerned. He wants me to work on lowering my blood pressure or he will stop the medication. I lowered the dose of my stimulant and I find even that is strong! I had been on a higher dose, but I didn’t like it because it made my mouth so dry. I’m better on the lower dose, although it’s not a miracle cure.

I’m still fast. And I talk a lot. But I’ve done that for half a century. It makes make me more mindful! But, I’m not out of the woods yet. I’m still learning about my ADHD symptoms and I realize it explains a lot. Mornings are still very much an effort for me. I haven’t been able to work due to this. Every day I discover new evidence of my ADHD.

I have always hated basic housework. And I still do – that hasn’t changed. My wonderful twins have to tell me to clean my room and wash up the nine cups I left in the sink. I’m quite happy in my messy room. I can’t see what others see. Our minds most definitely work differently.

In the U.K., where I live, I find we are still very behind in recognising ADHD. It seems in the U.S., you have nailed it. You seem to recognise it and have organisations that offer support and meetings.  I even have to educate my therapist!

I still have lots of work to do. I am far from cured! But on a positive note, I’m very proud of some of the behaviours that seem to come with my ADHD. My ADHD means I’m not shy about sharing about my ADHD, and I love talking to people about it.

I will keep in touch with other ADDA members. I love the way we discuss things and offer support for each other. If we all stick together, we can have huge influence on raising awareness of ADHD around the world!

The post The Long Road to My ADHD Diagnoses appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

I realized my life had changed the morning I woke up and the tape that had been playing in my head since I was a young child in school, telling me every day that I was dumb and stupid, stopped playing. Yes, those were the words, “dumb and stupid”.  I was in my fifty’s and I remember very clearly waking up and not hearing the message that I was dumb and stupid – it was gone. You can’t imagine what a relief it was not have that swirling in my mind anymore.  It was strange but wonderful at the same time. I had lost that part of me.

There is always a “before” and “after” when your life is radically changed. You are headed down one road and then suddenly you are headed down another. Your whole outlook on life is altered.

Anyone who has ever had a problem will tell you that you must be aware of the problem before you can tackle it. If you are in the dark about what is really going on there is nothing you can do to make any changes to improve your life. I’ve heard it said, “Knowledge is power,” and I agree.

I am not saying that finally having that ah-ha moment means everything will get easier. Life is still an uphill battle every day, but in a different way. I’m not fighting the same battle I was when I really thought I had a low IQ and was the dumb of dumbest.

Let me share a little about the “before”. Going to school every day was hard but I never missed a day. Why? I often wonder why I didn’t skip school since I was so miserable. I wanted to be like everyone else. And I wasn’t going to give up. I was constantly embarrassed by my hand writing (no one could read it), spelling (no amount of effort helped) and reading out loud in the class room was torture. I couldn’t pronounce the words on the page.

I got though school, graduated from college at age forty-five and landed a very good job with the government. But nothing I accomplished in my life mattered. I still felt flawed. One of my most telling memories is that at forty years of age, I bought a spelling book to help me learn to be a better speller. I tried and tried to learn how to spell the words, and I cried and cried because even with my hardest efforts… I just couldn’t. Every time I signed up for my next college course, I knew I would fail the class.

During this time, I was also suffering from depression and I went for counseling.  I meditated; I took up running and I’m sure I read every self-help book ever written. There is so much more to the “before” but I don’t want to bore you.

Now let’s talk about the “after”. The After. After my life changed and took me into a different direction. If there is a lesson in this story, it is that if you keep searching for the answers, eventually you will find them. I found the answer at fifty-two years of age. It might seem like it’s taking forever but you must never give up.

It happened for me when I found the name of a communications group in the phone book. Yes, a phone book. I made an appointment. I had tests done and discovered I have a word processing disability and ADHD. Finally I knew why I couldn’t spell, pronounce words and had a hard time remembering.

Now my life was better. This is the after. The “after” when you’ve found out what the true problem is. Now you can have the life that you always wanted. The life free of problems and worries. The life where you are really, really happy. The life where your job comes easy, where you don’t have relationship problems, where you are physically and mentally healthy.

I wish it was that way. But my problem did not go away. I now had a name for it, but it did not go away. So, I started on a new path. A path of different doctors. A path with medicine and side effects. But now knew I was not retarded. I could work on my memory problems and my language problem. Now I knew what I was dealing with and I could face the next battle.

It was after I found out why I always had a hard time with certain things in my life that I realized there is no end to the rainbow. I have to keep striving. I need to keep search for the truth of what my life is all about. Everyone has lessons to learn. And as you learn one lesson, another appears. Life is a continuous series of changes. Reaching the top of one mountain does not mean there will not be another mountain to climb. The real lesson for me is to keep climbing each mountain. My life will constantly change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. But I will not be stagnant. I will always live my life to the fullest.

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My story has a happy-ending, but I believe it also shows why women are underdiagnosed for ADHD.   

I am a man. Looking back, I had classic ADHD “boy” symptoms as early as six years old. I was out of school long before ever hearing about what was then called ADD.  I did not seek help and treatment until I was 60 years old. 

If I knew why I was anxious I suppose it would be easier to accept.  The bottom line for me was that my anxiety was out of proportion to the reality of any actual worries I had in my life. After years of what I thought was just anxiety, I finally sought help by searching the Internet. 

I wish I could credit the Web site that lead to learning about ADHD in adults but I do not remember it.  On this site, I learned of various possible causes of the unexplained anxiety I had been experiencing for so long, and the differences between anxiety and ADHD. It pointed out that if you really were not worried about something specific it might not be just anxiety, but perhaps testing for ADHD would lead to some answers.   

My test results clearly showed that I had ADHD. Long story short, my symptoms of hyperactivity displayed as anxiety.  I also happen to be over-sensitive, so if you combine that with “anxiety,” doctors did not consider this was ADHD. 

Even after all the progress made in diagnosing ADHD, it is still a challenge to find the proper treatment. Much of the diagnoses relies heavily on how you were as a “boy.”  I honestly do not know how I would have known I had ADHD, or to ask for help, if I had not had these symptoms as a child.  It is also unlikely that I would have gotten an Adderall prescription. After a month of taking Adderall my “anxiety” disappeared.   

Note: The FDA approves the use of Adderall to treat ADHD and narcolepsy. It is not used to treat anxiety usually and can make symptoms worse. Adderall, a stimulant, can reduce ADHD symptoms in adults for the short term.

To have gone all these years being undiagnosed, despite exhibiting classic ADHD symptoms of hyperactivity as a boy, I cannot even imagine what girls and adult women must have to go through before the possibility of having ADHD occurs to them or their doctors. Yet, with all I am learning about ADHD, I have never even seen an attempt to explain why being a woman would make you less likely to have ADHD than a man. We need our doctors to learn more about how ADHD might present in women. 

I commend ADDA’s efforts in supporting the needs of all men and women with ADHD. I encourage all of us to keep working together to raise awareness within the medical community so that ADHD can be diagnosed and treated properly.  

If you’d like to understand more about adult ADHD, ADDA+ offers 200+ webinars, peer support groups, work groups, and much more.

The post Looking For Answers To Anxiety Changed My Life appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

I always knew something was wrong but could not figure it out. I had trouble relating to others and making friends. I hated school and I was miserable. At age six I was tested at school and with doctors. Sure enough, I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, anxiety and dyslexia. In those days, these disorders were not widely accepted. I started meds and counseling. And I attended special education classes and even an after-school study program.

I felt alienated at school, which made everything worse. Eventually, I stopped counseling and doctors. It seemed like everyone knew I hated school so I gave up. I never studied or did homework. I was so disorganized, I don’t know how I made it through grade school. I really think they passed me because my dad was the dentist in our small town and knew everyone.

I started looking for ways to feel better, and I think my problems started with taking Benadryl, an allergy medication. Between that and caffeine, I found I could control my moods most days. Soon I was taking white crosses every day – it was basically legal speed. Then weed entered the picture and I discovered Xanax too.

By the age of 16, I had dropped out school and was using drugs daily to cope with life. Eventually, I was taking two bottles of white crosses every three days and smoking weed daily.

When I was in my twenties, I had an accident. I fell off a ten-foot deck and broke my back! This led to my discovery of hydrocodone. It was a perfect fit for me. It helped both my physical and mental pain. I felt great, had more energy, was more social, I could focus and even started make friends. All was going well and I even got my G.E.D.

But I did not know how addictive it was. I didn’t pay attention to how much I was taking. What followed was twelve years of hell! I overdosed a few times. I spent time in jail and psychiatric hospitals. Still, when I got out, I had to have it or I couldn’t function. By this point I was taking 25 to 30 hydrocodone a day. I even spent time homeless, all to get my fix.

Because of my broken, back the drugs were easy to get. I had three to four different docs and each one was giving me 120 lorcet plus.

Finally, after years, I realized my addiction was killing me. I tried Methadone for two years, but I swore I’d never do that again. I had to go into detox to get off of it. It took three months! Finally, I found suboxone, which has helped me remain clean for seven years.

After my brain had time to heal, I decided to revisit my mental troubles. I found a great psychiatrist and therapist. He told me that 70% of his patients who went undiagnosed for ADHD, either as children or as adults, became addicts. They needed something to deal with the sadness, loneliness, and anxiety.

He was willing work with me but there were conditions. I had to sign a contract agreeing to drug testing and pill counts. I had to give him permission to talk with my doctor so he could monitor my suboxone usage. He put me on Vyvanse, klonopin and Zoloft and reduced my suboxone dosage. Now I have better control and can choose the times I need to be focused the most.

I am on disability because of my back, epilepsy, and mental problems. Therapy helps to deal with feelings. Especially the ones you don’t know where they are coming from. It helped me learn live a normal life.

I’m 41 I have my family back. I have friends. I am happy and now I know where I’m going. Now, I help others online who suffer duel diagnosis of addiction and ADHD. I keep my house clean and organized and remember to do things I’m supposed to. I can start and finish things.

If this sound like someone you love, even it they’re a mess like I used to be, please know they can change and contribute. Now that I’ve got my head straight, I find helping others brings me what I was missing for so long. That is a reason for me to stay on meds, take them as prescribed and also stay in therapy. Helping people who are where I used to be feels like what I’m here for now. At the end of day, I feel content and happy.

I’m even planning on starting a non-profit group specifically dealing with people facing the duel diagnosis of ADHD & addiction. I’d like to help them get care from mental health professionals.

All this to say that, no matter how bad it looks, keep fighting. Believe me, if I can do, this anyone can. Thank you for reading my story. If I can make a difference for just one person, I will be happy!

ADDA+ offers a supportive community of like-minded ADHD adults, dealing with the same problems you are. Join us today!

The post Highway to Hell: Untreated Depression, Anxiety & ADHD Drove Me to Addiction appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

The Ann Arbor Adult ADHD Coffee Chat group first tried Improvisation recently. Doug Harris, a team leader, described taking Improv classes at a local theater. I’ve been teaching Improv since 2010 and thought it would be nice to offer the others a chance to try it out.

These Coffee Chats last two hours, but I reserved the room for an extra hour and invited everyone to stay and play. We had almost a dozen folks. Everyone stayed who didn’t have somewhere else to be.

This was exciting for me. I’ve been creating a course called “Improvisation for Focus and Attention” I was eager to test. The course helps people get over their fear of public speaking and helps them think on their feet. I create a safe space, free of expectations and criticism. Then I encourage players to get out of their heads and into their bodies for a while. We do a series of exercises and games that help the players stop thinking and “be in the moment”, and then we play. This is the kind of thing that allow our ADHD brains to thrive.

“Get out of your head, into your space, and await the invisible stranger” – Viola Spolin

My inspiration for teaching Improv is not its use for comedy – though that’s a lot of fun. It was first used by Viola Spolin and her mentor, Neva Boyd as a way to break down barriers between people. It helps people communicate by cooperating in a game of solving a common problem. Spolin’s encourages people to respond to situations without presuppositions and expectations. Tapping into their intuition lets them respond authentically.

“It requires us to be present, ready for full participation as part of a whole and offers us a chance to be truly authentic”. – Gary Schwarts

I chose exercises and games based on two criteria. First, they had to have a strong emphasis on maintaining focus. Second, I de-emphasized narrative, character development, and object work. I started with a Sound and Motion circle. In this exercise, the first player initiates a sound and motion. For example, stepping one foot forward, clapping hands and yelling “whoa!” Each of the players, in turn, imitates it the movement. The next player initiates a new sound and motion and so on until everyone has had a turn leading.

I followed that with a modified Zip-Zap-Zop, then we moved on to Mirror. Mirror is another good example of a focus-oriented game. Pairs of players stand face to face. One initiates a motion such as raising their right arm. Their partner reflects the movement back raising their left arm, as if standing in front of a mirror. After a few minutes, the players swap roles – the leader follows and the follower leads. But that isn’t the end of the game. In the third round, the players take turns being the leader – and they do it without saying a word. How do they know when it’s their turn to take over? When they achieve complete on each other, they “know.” It’s part of the fun of the game. And it’s a chance to see the benefit of paying complete and total attention to your partner

After that, we played two rounds of Word At A Time Story, always a real lesson in giving up control. We rounded out the afternoon with some scene work and closed with Freeze Tag.

We talked about each game after we played it. That was a group decision that arose out of the moment (in true Improvisational fashion). I hadn’t planned that, since my goal was to get them out of their heads and into the activity. But the players spontaneously started talking about what we’d done. We examined different kinds of focus and attention each game required. We described what it felt like to take or abandon control in a game like Mirror or Word At A Time Story. We recalled the liberty of playing different characters in each scene of Freeze Tag. But most, we talked about how great it felt to be with other members of our tribe for an hour of fun.

Choosing the appropriate games, planning to get together, and committing to engage in the games can be challenging, but it’s worth it. If you’d like to learn more about this, watch for future articles or contact me.

The post A Taste of Improv appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

A few years ago, I decided to close my business. It was exhausting. My son really needed a lot more attention and of course he was our priority. So, I just stopped. I told my clients I was taking a break, got rid of my accountant and closed my bank accounts. When it came time to file my taxes, I just followed the previous returns using the current tax year’s numbers. It was all pretty easy until I got a letter from the IRS notifying me my return was incomplete because I was missing a form I had never heard of before.

When I went to look for the copy of the tax return, it was gone. I searched everywhere but somehow I managed to not save it properly on my computer and also forgot to print a hard copy. And so it began, endless hours waiting on hold to find out how to request a copy of the return, and two more months to receive it only to discover I did include the right form, but failed to check and initial one little box. ONE…LITTLE…BOX! On top of all this aggravation I was also informed I could possibly be fined thousands of dollars a month in penalties due to delays and inaccuracies.

It was agonizing to deal with these problems. Not the least of which was that it made me a true nightmare to live with. I was so angry with myself and stressed out. I was embarrassed to tell my husband I had screwed up. Before I was diagnosed, I probably would have just told him and we would have dealt with it together and eventually laughed it off. But now I felt flawed and stupid. I was afraid that my ADHD would always cause me to make mistakes and prevent me from ever being successful again.

Well of course, I was wrong. When I told my husband, he was very understanding and thankfully took over dealing with the problem. Everything turned out ok and I didn’t have to pay any fines.

For a few years after this I felt that any little mistake put a great big spotlight on my ADHD. I think that’s probably something everyone diagnosed as an adult goes through.

But I don’t feel flawed or stupid anymore. I’m becoming very successful in identifying my strengths, (I’m a whiz at creating and growing a business) and my weaknesses, (there is no way on God’s green earth I will ever be good at boring details). Most importantly, I’m successful in knowing that asking for help is a strength and not a weakness.

One last thing; every year at tax time we do look back and laugh. My husband always reminds me that most newly diagnosed adult ADHD’ers begin to put the pieces together by realizing how many times they’ve lost their keys, or left the ice cream in the car, but not me, I have to be the over-achiever and take on the IRS!

The post The Devil Is In the Details appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

As an openly gay man who came out more than twenty years ago and as a man only recently diagnosed with ADHD, I find the similarities between our communities intriguing. It’s striking that the ADHD community seems to be struggling with many of the issues the Queer community has partially overcome during my lifetime! I hear the same fear, worry and discouragement from fellow ADHDers as I have from gay friends debating whether or not to come out. I find it mind-boggling that in the year 2016 it seems more acceptable to be gay than to have ADHD!

Just as being gay does not define a person, neither does having a diagnosis of ADHD. As more and more people became aware their friends were gay, they soon realized their similarities far outweighed their differences, which diminished the stigma of being gay. It is my belief ADHD can and will become less stigmatized as we fight for awareness and provide facts that counteract opinion.

My dream is that coming out as ADHD will soon be as commonplace as coming out as Queer is today. For me the decision was easy; I refused to go into an “ADHD Closet”. I know this decision is difficult for many people with ADHD. Every person who chooses to come out must feel comfortable in deciding the right time and place to do so. It is ADDA’s hope that by providing knowledge and awareness, this decision will become easier for all ADHDers in the future.

To reach that point, our ADDA community must remain focused on uniting to provide our fellow ADHDers the necessary support in the face of this difficult choice and the challenges of living with ADHD, regardless of the choice you make. In October of every year we celebrate ADHD Awareness Month. We proudly stand as a group and announce to the world that ADHD is indeed very real. You may very well be unaware someone close to you is struggling with this condition. Please know that ADHD is treatable and it does not make the people who suffer from it in any way bad, broken or defective. Education and awareness helped the Queer community, and it will help ours as well.

I am honored to be part of an organization that understands the vital role visibility plays in acceptance for the Queer community. The same visibility is also vital in advancing awareness of ADHD. The leadership of ADDA and I encourage you to take a moment today to reflect on your ADHD journey and that of our Queer brothers and sisters as we both continue to fight for acceptance.

Are you Queer with ADHD? Join our ADDA ADHD support group for LGBTQIA.

Keith Griffin is an executive function coach for ADHDers and their loved ones. He’s also host of  This ADHD Life. Save over 25% by taking advantage of the special “initial launch” rate! There are only six spaces remaining so don’t wait to schedule your free introductory call. 

The post Coming Out Day appeared first on ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association.

While researching ADHD, I noticed a lot of articles about people who had committed suicide because of it. I was so saddened by this I felt I had to take action by sharing my story. If I can reach one person and encourage them to live life to the fullest, then I’ve done my bit.

Many people with ADHD find it difficult to drive, but it came naturally to me — I passed my driver license test on the first try at 17 despite suffering anxiety and sweaty panic attacks during the normal course of the day.

I wanted to be driver for class one trucks — the big ones that bend in the middle. Although I’m passionate about driving these vehicles, my ADHD-fueled anxiety was telling me I couldn’t do it. I was prepared for every question on the test; I knew it all – until it came to the actual testing! With no confidence in passing, I freaked out and ran home without even writing the test.

I endured years in a succession of different jobs. I faced bankruptcy as a taxi driver and watched my taxi and motorbikes being taken away to pay for debts — I have had some real low points. Because I was undiagnosed, I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I felt like a failure.

Eventually I received government job-retraining funding to help me prepare and pass the tests. It was my way out of money worries and with a license to what I wanted to do with my life. Now I drive a big fuel truck!

I’ve got a handle on my finances for the first time in my life — there was a time in my life when my wife gave me a daily allowance and had to manage the household finances herself. When I traded in my car recently, I managed to work out all the payments myself, understood them, and paid them. This was a huge step and a big change for me.

I drank too much, and ate loads of sugar — it didn’t put me in the best of moods. I was restless and irritable. I’d do everything to excess and let my obsessions take over my life.

I had always enjoyed running, but after my diagnosis and starting medication I began to run every night. Music also plays a big part in relaxing me while I run, and generally the exercise helps me file away thoughts. I started to get involved in off-road events and Ironman-type obstacle courses. This helped my focus and gave me determination and plenty of energy. I’m calmer now and put it down to the relief of being diagnosed, and of course, the healthy, ADHD-friendly lifestyle I’ve learned to adopt since discovering what I was dealing with.

So post ADHD diagnosis, life is great. I’m calm, clear, and confident. I always do the best I can, and that’s good enough.

I am so grateful for my diagnosis — it’s helped me find myself.

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Fifty years ago, I was nineteen and in college. I went water skiing one beautiful day, but when I was pulled back into the boat, I felt cold despite the sunshine. I peeled off my wet shirt, asking for something dry to put on. I’m not an exhibitionist; I might even be described as shy. What was I doing standing in that boat in my bra, surrounded by guys I didn’t know that well?

It might not have been a memorable event but one of them asked me out afterwards. He eventually became my husband, but only after my further impulsivity resulted in my becoming pregnant.

Over fifteen years later, I was back in school working on a Master’s degree. I saw a flyer promoting a trip to Fairbanks, Alaska that January. I decided immediately I wanted to go though I’d never had any interest in Alaska. Life wasn’t all that happy at home so I opted for a “geographic escape.”

It was fifty degrees below zero when we got off the plane in Fairbanks. That cold takes your breath away. Given the number of projects I’ve abandoned in my lifetime, I was impressed and thankful I managed to finish making the down jacket and mittens that helped me survive another impulsive decision.

There’s humor in these stories, something rare in experiences autographed by my ADHD. I’m beginning to understand how my life was shaped by ADHD. Diagnosed nine years ago, I’m revaluating the past in light of what I now know. There’s been anger, even bitterness, but overall it has been an achingly poignant experience.

During my training to be an ADHD coach, when I first encountered the strategy of reframing, I saw how to use it with clients, but also how it applied to me. Jan Brause, in an article in Coach the Coach, says, “Reframing helps (us) to see things differently and subsequently come to different conclusions, or feelings about the experience.” Facts don’t change; our interpretation of them does.

Is the glass half empty? Is the glass half full? If I believe it is half empty, I’ll think I don’t have what I want, perhaps I don’t even have what I need. I might feel frustrated, discouraged and depressed. When I see that same glass as half full, I realize I do have what I need. If the next day I see it is still half full, I can feel grateful, believing it will be as full the following day. My actions will reflect this.

Five years ago, I moved from the Midwest, where I was born and lived for sixty-four years, to Portland, Oregon to be with my daughters and my grandchildren. I had lost a job, and eventually my house, so it was time to make the move I had planned for when I retired.

Moving led to feelings of loss and dislocation that left me adrift as I approached my sixty-fifth birthday. Facing the next stage of life, I wondered how I would traverse this crossing. It wasn’t just moving or my future in Portland that unsettled me. I found my judgment of the past kept intruding on my present.

Self-judgment has always been a part of my make-up. I concede aging does have some benefits. My attitude has mellowed to the point where my self-talk is, “So what else is new?” But I felt driven to mount a retrospective, a big look back at my life from this milestone. I had been afraid of examining missed personal and professional opportunities and capricious financial management that resulted in years lost, plus the disturbing image of a failed mother whose drinking escalated into alcoholism.

We teach what we need to learn. While it’s frowned on in academic circles, I’ve begun rewriting history, my own personal history, as I now understand it. Using the strategy of reframing, the story of my life turns out to be different from the one I’ve told all these years.

I can reframe what started on that boat in 1962 from a shameful transgression to what I’ve been able to share with the world, my two magnificent daughters. They’ve impressed me with their journeys to maturity and self-actualization; they’re wonderful mothers and contributing members of the community.

I now see my ADHD habit of glossing over details, my tendency to procrastinate and my struggles to complete projects caused problems at school and work. I called myself lazy and irresponsible and regretted not living up to the potential I was told I had. I’ve let myself off the hook somewhat (still working on it) now that I understand the source of these struggles.

Accepting ADHD takes time. It’s a process, not an event. Just when I’ve gotten a new frame in place about a past event, the replacement frame I hung yesterday about something else starts to tilt. It takes attention and concentration to maintain this new perspective. Unfortunately, remembering to pay attention doesn’t come naturally. Obviously it’s a long term project, but I’ve discovered it’s never too late to start.

Reframing allows us self-compassion and forgiveness and consequently a way to go forward. The purpose of reframing the experiences of your life with ADHD is to facilitate moving ahead in their lives to where they want to be. We teach what we need to learn. I’m still moving forward and still learning.

Ann Myers, along with Lynn Shumaker, will be leading the ADDA Virtual Support Group for 50 + Women. Ann, through her own participation in peer support groups and also her professional work, has witnessed the validation and emotional identification that occurs among peers who share common problems. From that foundation, participants can problem solve and encourage each other to move forward. She can hardly wait to be in this group with other “mature” women who have ADHD. We’d love to have you join the ADDA Virtual Support Group for 50 + Women.

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Spring is the best time to start a new habit or strengthen an existing one.  Science and conventional wisdom support the idea that people with ADHD become more “activated” when signs of the spring season start to show.  Feeling motivated and energized is the ideal state to be in to start a new routine or habit.  

Spring fever is something that teachers will often comment about starting in March or April.  It’s historically “known” that students with ADHD become more antsy, restless, and unfocused in the classroom around this time.  Adults will feel energized and more playful as well. The daylight is increasing, the weather is starting to warm, we see plants turning green and more animals coming out during the day.  In spring, the natural cycle of life supports us to get outside, breathe deeply in the natural world and become more physically active.  

As the ground warms, plants come to life and the produce that is available to us (naturally) becomes more abundant.  Changing your diet in the spring can be easier because there are many more healthy options available.  

Springtime also has a natural solution to the winter doldrums. There’s a scientific basis for March Madness! At this time of year, the increase in daylight activates our natural production of vitamin D and dopamine- the “feel good” neurotransmitter.  Low levels of available dopamine has been identified as one of the causes of many challenges that accompany ADHD.  Many of the medications we use to treat ADHD act by increasing dopamine availability in our brains.  In winter our brains produce more of the neurotransmitter somatostatin, which plays an indirect role in stress and depression.  In spring our brain produces more dopamine.  This is just one of the reasons we feel more energized, motivated, and happy when spring arrives.  

For all of these reasons, spring is the ideal time to start getting in the habit, whether you want to develop a new exercise routine, improve your eating habits, clean your home, or dedicate yourself to building the habit of play. Your brain chemistry will support your effort and improve your chances of success.   

Tips for starting a new habit:  

1. Envision you have already made the change to the new habit you want to adopt.  Imagine yourself healthier, happier, more relaxed and organized.  Get a detailed image of this new you.  
2. Write it down. Using a calendar, planner, to-do list or even sticky notes to remind yourself and reward yourself for accomplishing your goals is important. Writing things down also gives you a great way to track progress and hold yourself accountable.
3. Speaking of accountability: Socializing with like-minded people who are willing to support you or may be focused on the same/similar goal greatly improves your chances of success.  Having a coach to hold you accountable can also be a catalyst to help you follow through on your intentions to change.  
4. Reminders (the trigger that initiates the behavior). Link your new behavior to something you already do to improve the chances of remembering. For instance, make it a habit to put your gym clothes in your bag for the following day after dinner.  If you are not a dinner person, pack your gym bag after brushing your teeth (don’t tell me you don’t brush your teeth!)
5. Routine. Make the new behavior part of your regular routine.  The more often you put this new habit in your schedule, the quicker it will become “easy.”
6. Reward (the benefit you gain from doing the behavior). Ideally, you want to gain some intrinsic “feel good” reward for engaging in new healthy habits. But the truth is, sometimes it takes external incentives to get going. Build these into your routine as well – don’t cheat yourself if a reward is something that will keep you going.  

I’m off to start my spring time habit of more exercise and healthy eating.  Yes – even coaches who enjoy play can lose momentum in the cold of northeast winters.  Happy spring!!

Kirsten Milliken, PhD, PCC is a clinical psychologist and certified ADHD coach. She is the author of the new book, :PlayDHD: Permission to Play…A Prescription for Adults with ADHD.” Learn more at: www.playdhd.com!

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Kistler, who realized he had ADHD at the age of 30, admits that the father figure in the book is semi-autobiographical and touches on his own struggles with depression and ADHD. Kistler explains that while in the throes of depression he realized that he had to make something beautiful out of what was inside of him.

“I needed to end the chaos, the anxiety,” he says. “I realized that if I was feeling this way, then there must be others in the same situation and I decided to create something that others could read and learn from.”

Writing the book wasn’t easy, admits Kistler, who says he has been afraid to talk about ADHD because of the stigma surrounding the diagnosis. He says his self-esteem suffered tremendously growing up undiagnosed and, even to this day, he hasn’t shared his diagnosis of ADHD with many people.

Growing up, Kistler says his father, who was in the Marines, was “very strict, but in a loving way.” He believes that his father’s discipline helped him with structure, as did the catholic schools he attended, although he found little understanding in regards to his challenges.

When discussing how ADHD has impacted him, Kistler says that his biggest struggles have been impulsivity, lack of focus, overwhelm, social anxiety, and low self-esteem. He admits to “blurting out the wrong things,” spacing out at times, and, in trying to fix one mistake, he often makes even more. Although Kistler is afraid that he has lost friends as a result of his ADHD, he realizes that there are perks to having ADHD as well.

“I wouldn’t sell my wild imagination, nor my sense of humor for a billion dollars.”

Kistler says that turning 30 was a pivotal time for him. He was living in Japan then, and when he began reflecting on the past 10 years, “it became so clear that something was wrong.” In addition to broken relationships, one of his biggest regrets was realizing how much procrastination had impacted him to the point of “interrupting the normal flow of life.”

Age 32, Kistler married and “invited someone else into the madness,” he says. Realizing his wife deserved better, he went to see a counselor, but when the counselor began writing a prescription for medication before listening to his story, he decided to find another way to help himself. “That was the last time I saw a clinician.”

Instead, Kistler says, he read up on ADHD and began to figure things out on his own. Now, 46, while he still struggles with his ADHD and depression, he has developed tools and strategies that work for him. And he uses humor in everything he does. Kistler, who has three young children, ages 6,9 and 12, says they laugh all the time and have created “a little magical world, that we enjoy. I still have to be Dad, but we have the best times together.”

Kistler says that if any of his children should show signs of ADHD, he wants them to know that nothing is wrong with them. “You learn differently, you think differently, but that is a beautiful thing.”

Kistler also loves his work with foster children and young adults, many of whom have ADHD. “I try to teach them strategies to stay focused and how to accept themselves for who they are.”

Kisler graduated from Cal Poly Pomona with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a minor in criminal justice. Kistler also earned a teaching credential and teaches a correctional science course at a local community college.

Kistler says that he designates certain students to help him stay on track while lecturing, which has worked out very well. He only assigns one paper a semester, walking his students through it with deadlines regarding the rough draft, second draft, etc, giving them all term to work on it. What worked for him, he realizes, works well for most others too.

Kistler explains that while working on his novel, he did not allow himself to write during the semester he was teaching, not until the grades were in. Then the writing became the reward and he would set aside 12 hours at a time to write. “That was the only way I could do it,” he says. “I would go to Starbucks when they opened and not leave until closing.”

It was 2006, Kistler says, on a drive with his family from his home in Claremont, CA to San Jose, that the idea of writing a book came to him. “I had fallen asleep and when I woke up, I knew it was something I needed to do.”

For the next year, Kistler says he wrote ideas on napkins, on little pieces of paper, on post-it notes, and even on his hand. He also used voice recordings, sometimes wearing a small Olympus voice recorder on his sleeve. Eventually he began to write his book. It wasn’t easy, he admits. “At times it was down right frustrating, but it was supposed to be. The book parallels my life. It paints the truth of how we feel. Writing this book helped me to process and accept myself.”

The book took on a life of its own, according to Kistler, who says it is extremely difficult for him to explain what it is about. He says he was reluctant to use words such as ADHD, depression, and anxiety in describing what the book was about, but instead chose to focus on its message of hope, love and redemption. Kistler says his kids are his world, and that comes across in the book. He says that sometimes it takes the innocence of children to see past one’s outer struggles and appreciate who someone really is.

Odette, the daughter in the book, was wise enough to know that she had to let her father do for himself, and not make him feel like he was a burden or special needs, Kistler explains. “What she could do was help him stay on track in a very subtle, seamless way. Odette saw what was really in her father’s heart,” Kistler says. “She not only loved him, but helped him compensate for his challenges with cool strategies. And as long as one person that reads my book gets it and is helped by my book, I will be happy.”

With the book completed, Kistler is now working on a curriculum for training others to work with young adults transitioning out of foster care, and another one for staff caring for foster kids.

He has also decided to create a collection of short stories, based on one of the characters in his book, to be called, “The Green Badge of Courage: A Collection of Short, Finished Stories.” Kistler laughs when he points out that his title, “Finished Stories,” reflects his pride in the accomplishment of FINISHING what he started. “Gotta love it,” he says.

“I need to write again,” Kistler says. “I want to go back to my world. I genuinely miss having it to look forward to.”

Harrison Kistler’s novel “The Breath of Beasts and Lilies” can be found on Amazon.com or at his website, http://www.harrisonkistler.com/. 

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Receiving a diagnosis later in life left me with mixed emotions. On one hand, I finally understood why I was so disorganized, why I couldn’t pay attention, and why I struggled in social situations. It provided a tremendous sense of relief to know that there was a reason for all these issues. It wasn’t just me. I wasn’t a failure.

On the other hand, I felt a sense of regret and sadness, because I had struggled for so long, never realizing that ADHD was holding me back. I wondered what I could have accomplished and how much better I would have felt about myself if I had known about my ADHD earlier in life and had the tools I needed to overcome the many obstacles.

After many years, a tremendous amount of research, coaching, and coach training, I can now focus on the present and the future. I learned how my ADHD affects me, what I could do to minimize the impact of symptoms, and how I could build on my many strengths.

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Dr. Julie Schweitzer is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at the UC Davis MIND Institute in Sacramento, California. She conducts brain-imaging research on ADHD in children and adults using behavioral- neuropsychological and functional neuroimaging (fMRI) methods. She also studies the correlation between reinforcement in learning strategies in clinical populations. We sat down with Dr. Schweitzer to learn more about her research.

What are the core neurobiological components you’re examining in your brain scan research on ADHD?

Our research attempts to link impairments identified in cognitive, behavioral and motivational functioning with brain activity.  We define where we are looking in regard to neurobiology based on what we know is affected on a performance level in functional impairments. The key to functional neuroimaging is looking at the interaction between behavioral performance and its relation to brain activity. Our laboratory is particularly interested in working memory, reward response, self-control and general cognitive control issues.

The prefrontal cortex is commonly identified as the most “malfunctioning” anatomical region responsible for ADHD. Would you agree?

The prefrontal cortex is reliably implicated in ADHD, but we now recognize that other regions are implicated in ADHD and that it is most likely the interaction, or “communication” between brain regions that is most problematic. Furthermore, we know the basal ganglia and cerebellum are also frequently implicated in ADHD as well.

The neurotransmitters, dopamine (DA) and norepinephrine (NE) are implicated in the distractibility and impulsivity typical of ADHD. Would you consider DA or NE as the most responsible for the “ADHD brain”?

Most research has focused on dopamine, thus we don’t really know the extent to which norepinephrine is involved, but clearly both neurotransmitters are implicated in ADHD. To me, the more interesting question is to what degree alterations in the DA or NE system might be implicated in the different presentation types that we classify within ADHD.

What have your brain scans indicated about the pattern of neural activity during cognitive tasks performed by a person with ADHD versus a person without ADHD?

We have conducted several studies demonstrating that ADHD is characterized by both hypo- and hyper-activity in brain functioning in pediatric and adult ADHD and not just hypo-activity, as the earlier research suggested. Our group has also shown that the increased distractibility associated with ADHD may be due to an inability to sufficiently suppress brain activity in a region of the brain called the default attention network, particularly as task difficulty increases.

How much do researchers understand about the neural correlates–or, nervous system correlates–of inhibition and cognitive control processes in ADHD?

There has been a fair amount of research in ADHD and response inhibition. Research into the general area of cognitive control processes in ADHD is definitely growing. Our research suggests that there are impairments in cognitive control in ADHD and these impairments may also differ with subtypes of ADHD. Another interesting area of cognitive control research relates to the imbalance between the network of brain regions engaged during higher order cognitive control and the network of regions (e.g., midline regions, posterior cingulate) that are typically de‑active during the performance of these tasks. These midline regions, also known as default mode regions, are typically de-active during demanding cognitive tasks and tend to be more active during non-cognitively demanding periods. In ADHD we find that children with the disorder have less deactivation than typically-developing children in these default regions, during cognitively demanding tasks. Furthermore, we found that the degree of deactivation related to the difficulty level of the task. We concluded that increased distractibility in ADHD may be due to an inability to sufficiently suppress activity in the default attention network in response to increases in task difficulty.

What is known about the neural correlates of the distractibility characteristic of people with ADHD?

Distractibility does seem to be related to the ability to effectively engage cognitive control. Individuals with ADHD combined type tend to underuse and overuse parts of their brain, giving a diffused pattern of brain activity. In the inattentive type of ADHD we suspect that distractibility is not associated with over-activity in brain activity, particularly in the motor areas of the brain, where we find it in the combined subtype.

How does fMRI work? What data does it provide researchers on what is happening in an ADHD brain?

Functional MRI works by measuring a subject’s neural activity when they are presented with a task, though data can also be collected during a resting state scan when they are not performing a task. fMRI is based on measures of brain activity by assessing changes in blood flow and oxygenation based on the principle that changes in neuronal activity tend to be associated with changes in brain blood flow and volume. The more active a brain area is, the more oxygenated blood is needed to meet the growing demand. The increase in blood flow can be indirectly measured in relationship to a cognitive or emotionally evocative stimuli presented during the fMRI sessions that relate to ADHD functioning. In ADHD it gives us a physiological measure that helps us understand the relationship between functional deficits in ADHD and an objective, biological measure.

How much is known about the nervous system changes that cause these problems and what are some of the changes specifically?

There have been cross-sectional studies, including some longitudinal research, which primarily examined structural imaging data such as brain volume as it relates to information processing in ADHD. Here at the UC Davis MIND Institute, we are trying to look at nervous system changes in adolescents and adults. We have a hypothesis on the nature of pre-frontal cortical (PFC) development. Typically, the PFC finishes developing during the early to mid-20’s, but in individuals with ADHD we suspect it continues developing for several more years. Interestingly, other laboratories found other regions of the brain mature faster in ADHD. Motor regions appear to develop sooner and we are investigating if reward regions do as well in ADHD. We are interested in the discrepancy between maturation in prefrontal cortical brain regions and the reward center of the brain, the ventral striatum, and whether there is – in essence – a tug of war between the cognitive versus reward regions.

There have been suggestions that sports and physical activity can improve brain function for people with ADHD. What is the clinical evidence around that?

We all want to know how people can channel their extra energy to their advantage. A lot depends on individual. We know that people playing video games or texting and chatting are boosting their dopamine levels, but we also know these are not necessarily the healthiest activities they could pursue. We’d love to do research into finding and identifying a healthy alternative that can be applied globally to the patient population. In the meantime, when a person knows what drives and fulfills them based on their individual interests and history, they’re more likely to find positive ways to use their energy. There are some other laboratories that have been examining the role of physical activity in relation to ADHD.

How can individuals with ADHD with a high creative aptitude harness this strength for their benefit?

The individual has to have some discipline and skill because raw energy is not enough. Achieving success requires skill development. I am interested in how persistence and ambition are cultivated and applied because those are key components to achieving success. In my clinical experience, those with ADHD who are very successful are ambitious and have a goal in mind that they pursued with persistence. Also, being very bright can help, but it is not sufficient. The combination of persistence, ambition, intelligence and talent can make a huge difference. People with persistence are less likely to feel beaten down by obstacles. Without the “stick-to-it” attitude, a person, ADHD or not, will experience difficulties in life later on. Traditional routes may be hard for ADHD people so there are benefits to coaching to help the individual persist and think about other potential avenues.

Rheba Estante is a San Francisco writer working in higher education and pursuing her Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology at Golden Gate University. Known for her compelling articles featuring women’s lifestyle and health issues, she interviews industry leaders ADDA’s E-News, the Potrero View newspaper, and for the SF Women’s Health Examiner for Examiner.com. Learn more about her work on LinkedIn.

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